Njeri Mucheru is an advocate of the High Court of Kenya and a mother of three. Njeri, of Mucheru-Oyatta & Associates, is currently engaged in a noble venture that is aimed at providing support to women survivors of domestic violence. The venture is ‘Mary’s Manger’, which is inspired by memories of her dear mother, and is Njeri’s way of giving back to society. “It is my calling, what I want to be remembered for,” she says.
Njeri, who believes in love and marriage, hopes that through Mary’s Manger, she will be able to impact society in a way that the marriage institution gains the respect it deserves. See, in her own words below:
Mummy Talesis a blog dedicated to empowering its’ readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood and women. Keep up with the latest posts on Mummy Tales by subscribing to new posts. You can also follow Mummy Tales on:FACEBOOK l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
Samoina Wangui and her son. Photo by Blackmerg Studios.
Why do some women feel so sad and desolate after having their babies? This is something 27-year-old Samoina Wangui experienced following the birth of her son, where she developed feelings of anger at him and everything around her, and at some point –she became suicidal. This is Samoina’s heartfelt experience.
“I vividly remember the day my world stood still. My life before then had been very interesting…I was enjoying it, partying a lot, hanging out, campus… the whole nine yards. I’m a very social person, and find it so enlightening to spend time with people.
Then I found out I was pregnant. My world stood still.
Let me take you back a little bit. Growing up, I knew motherhood was ‘supposed’ to be a blissful experience. I mean, what could be better in life other than creating life itself? Bringing a sweet little baby into the world? I envisioned motherhood as a beautiful experience. Then suddenly, my world stood still as all that bliss disappeared like a mirage as I faced the reality of what was happening to me. I was unprepared for the pregnancy.
Samoina Wangui. Photo: Blackmerg Studios
I was barely 22, and still on probation in my job. It certainly wasn’t time for motherhood -yet. I was petrified. This was going to be a life-changing event and I was not sure I could hack it. I felt like I had let myself down. There I was, faced with what had to be my life’s biggest decision. Eventually, I decided to keep the baby, after many nightmares where I would wake up sweating and shaking, hearing unrelenting baby screams and all-night crying. This, in addition to having gross visions of a bloodied mess. This marked the beginning of a life-changing journey for me.
In the early months of my pregnancy, I remember going to the bathroom and finding a blob of bright red blood. I panicked at the thought of losing my baby. I was having a threatened abortion, but thankfully, we survived that.
About 5 months into the pregnancy, I realized I was going to be a single mom. That reality shook me, as I struggled with the emotions that come along with that, as well as the reality of the financial responsibilities that lay ahead of me. It was tough.
When I was around 7/8 months pregnant, I lost my job, as though my situation could not get any worse!
29 year-old Rahab Nganga is mom to her adorable 2 year-old daughter Nouchka Muthoni Bazarbacha. Rahab is my former colleague, such a lovable lady who I was quite fond of. Today, I am more than delighted to share Rahab with you, sharing a few insights into her motherhood experiences.
Maryanne: When you were pregnant, did you want to know the baby’s sex early, or did you wait until baby was born?
Rahab: I definitely wanted to know the sex of the baby early enough. I was particularly interested because I wanted a boy and my husband wanted a girl, so this was more like to confirm which one it would be.
Rahab with her beautiful daughter Nouchka
Maryanne: How was your breastfeeding experience? Did you struggle with breastfeeding, and did you get the breastfeeding support you needed after giving birth?
Rahab: Lucky enough, I did not struggle with breastfeeding. Nouchka latched well and my milk supply was quite adequate. We were good, thankfully.
Maryanne: What did you wish you’d known about having a newborn?
Rahab: I wished I would have known how much work it is to take care of a newborn and how much it changes our lives.
Maryanne:How has your experience with house girls been?
Senator Beth Mugo has always been conscious of her diet and lifestyle. At some point, she even stopped taking tea with cow milk, instead opting for soya milk.
“I took soya milk for 5, 6, 7 years… it could have been the source of my breast cancer,” she says. This is her story, and what her doctor –a leading oncologist told her about soya and breast cancer. Read more about her initiative: The Beth Mugo Cancer Foundation.
Mummy Talesis a blog dedicated to empowering its’ readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood. Keep up with the latest posts on Mummy Tales by subscribing to new posts. You can also follow Mummy Tales on: l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
Elizabeth Simiyu is mom to 7 year-old Karim and his baby sister Leila, aged 4 years. Elizabeth is the founder and director of Slim Therapy, which is a weight loss and wellness clinic franchise. Elizabeth was recognized as one of the Top 40 under 40 women in Kenya (2014) for her role in the health and beauty industry. Elizabeth also works as an Electrical Engineer and today, she lets us in on her life as a mom, and how she balances it all -as told to Mummy Tales writer SYLVIA WAKHISI.
Elizabeth with her children Karim and Leila
Sylvia: Waiting to find out the sex of the baby after birth, or curious enough to find out before. What type of mom are you?
Liz:There was no way I could have waited. I was very anxious and curious to know and as soon as I could find out, I did.
Sylvia: How was the breastfeeding experience with your children?
Liz: I must say that I got the breastfeeding support I needed with my kids, and I’m grateful for that. I am a working mom and with my first child Karim, my then boss was really considerate. Since I lived close to my work place at that time, I was free to leave as often as I could in order to feed or express milk. I breastfed him exclusively until the end of the sixth month very comfortably.
When I had my second child Leila, things weren’t very easy. I had changed jobs and my new job was more demanding. I lived far from work so I basically had to rely on expressing milk, yet the company didn’t have mother’s room facilities. I tried my best and mostly expressed in my car which was quite cumbersome. I weaned my daughter at 5 months.
Liz with her daughter Leila.
Sylvia: What snacks do you pack for your kids when they go to school?
Liz: My son is in Class 2 while my daughter is in baby class and as a mother of kids who are actively growing, I ensure that I pack for them a sandwich, and a juice box or milk.
Sylvia: How does spirituality influence your life and that of your family?
Liz: My husband is Muslim, and so are my kids. I was raised a Catholic, though I no longer actively practice the faith; it is the faith I subscribe to. I believe in goodness and fairness and gratitude….
Sophia Muthoni is a first-time mom to her beautiful eight-month old daughter Maya Wanjiku. Sophia quit her job as a journalist to be a stay-at-home mom. You can read more about that in this post: “I’ve Taken a Career Break to Focus on my Baby”. Today, Sophia offers us a little snippet of how her breastfeeding experience with Maya was, and which contributed to her decision to resign from her media job.
“Breastfeeding has been quite a journey for me. For starters, I’m thankful that my breast milk supply was good from the very start and I didn’t have to wait for days for it to start flowing after she was born. However, I was soon to face my biggest challenge -getting baby to latch properly. It wasn’t easy, but eventually, after several tries, we both got the hang of it and learnt what positions were most comfortable for Maya and I.
Sophia’s daughter, Maya
I’m grateful that I was able to exclusively breastfeed my daughter for the recommended six months, though I must admit that it came with lots of sacrifice on my part. One of the things that helped is that I started expressing breast milk early and storing it in the freezer during my maternity leave. This was good because by the time I was returning to work, I had quite some stock.
However, Maya finished the entire stock within two weeks of my return to work! I had to introduce her to formula which she ended up hating. That put me between a rock and a hard place because I couldn’t keep up with her demand. I would express before going to work and also when I came home late in the afternoon, but that was barely enough for her. I therefore made the decision to resign from my job and stay home to ensure my baby got the best. It is one of the best decisions I’ve made as a mother, I must say!”
Mummy Talesis a blog dedicated to empowering its’ readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as different aspects of motherhood. Keep up with the latest posts on Mummy Tales by subscribing to new posts. You can also follow Mummy Tales on:FACEBOOK l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
46 year-old Wanjiru Githuka is a career woman working in agricultural development. She is also a mother of two: a son and daughter. Wanjiru is also a cancer survivor. This is her story.
“In December 2013, I did my usual self- breast examination and thought that I felt something. I immediately went to see a doctor but a lump was ruled out, thank God. However, in May 2014, I thought I felt a lump again. I went to see a different doctor in Kampala where I work. The doctor felt something too. Of course it wouldn’t be anything, I thought to myself, because there was no cancer history in my family and besides, I lived a relatively healthy life, I was careful about what I ate and drunk and was active. If at all it was anything, it couldn’t be cancer, I thought.
Nevertheless, the doctor sent me for a mammogram. The results indicated a lump in my left breast. I even went for an ultrasound which confirmed the lump, then I was sent for a biopsy.
Additional Lumps in my Breast
After the biopsy procedure, my doctor insisted on giving me sick leave as I waited for the results. It was the longest period of my life -the anxiety was too much. Meanwhile, I developed two other lumps in the same breast, which were very painful. Finally, one week later, I got a text message from the lab that the results were out. Despite my natural curiosity to quickly open and read the results, I surprised myself by actually waiting for the doctor to open them himself and give me the results.
“I have some good news and bad news for you, Wanjiru”, the doctor said.
“The bad news is that you have cancer. The good news is that it’s not the bad type”.
I froze, wondering if there was any ‘good cancer’. The diagnosis shattered my world. I went home, locked myself in my room and cried for hours. I cried for me. I cried for my children. I cried for my mum who had already buried three of her six children. But soon, I knew that I had to collect myself since my daughter would be arriving home from school at 4pm and I didn’t want her to see me crying. I would fight this thing to the end.
Watching Mexican Soaps
When my daughter arrived home, I explained to her that I had to leave for Nairobi to undergo a surgery. My son was a candidate and I knew that if I told my daughter, then it was as good as telling him. As a mother, I didn’t want the news to affect his performance. That evening, I travelled to Nairobi.
The following day, I saw a doctor and was scheduled for surgery the day after. I am a born-again Christian and I asked a few friends to join me in prayers. I was not afraid. Prayer warriors were praying with me and for me. The words of Isaiah 43: 1-2 gave me peace – “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
On 25 May 2014 as I was being wheeled to the theatre at 6pm, I kept meditating on these verses. I wasn’t worried. I knew I would make it. I am a typical woman and I love Mexican soaps and after a hard day’s work, they always help me unwind. I remember telling my niece on my way to the theatre:
“See you at 8 pm as we watch our favorite Mexican soap”.
I had no doubt in my mind whatsoever that I would come out of theatre alive.
I underwent a mastectomy, which was then followed six weeks of healing. Meanwhile, I had decided that I wouldn’t let my status define me. I knew I had cancer, period. I was not going to think about the stage of cancer I was in, but I was just going to concentrate on my treatment and getting well. I went through 8 chemotherapy sessions, 30 radiation, and 16 session of Herceptin. I was also put on tamoxifen to take for five years. But I was determined to soldier on.
Wanjiru speaking at a cancer awareness forum.
Generally, I’m a poor feeder but when I was on treatment, I purposed to eat so as to be strong, so that the chemo drugs would not put me down. I followed my doctor’s instructions to the letter. I don’t like meat but she told me:
“You have to eat meat, at least three to four pieces daily. Take a glass of milk every day and eat a balanced diet.”
I did exactly that, no questions asked.
I went through chemotherapy with no major setbacks. However, I know that the thought of chemotherapy scares many. I remember people would come visit and tell me they weren’t expecting to find me ‘that way’. Even at my weakest, I was strong and jovial. Even with my bald head I felt fashionable. Because of the sun, I’d wear wigs; a friend of mine bought me four good ones.
My friends and family supported me throughout. Some would take me to hospital and sit with me during chemo. Even though I slept during the sessions, I would wake up and find them there, sitting patiently as I slept.
I Should have told my Son
Friends would call me whenever they saw cancer features on TV. I remember seeing survivors sharing their experiences and getting very encouraged. My mantra was: “If they made it, I will too. If they survived all those years, then why not me?” I told myself that one day I would also share my story and be a source of encouragement to others.
When my son finally got to learn what I was going through, he was really mad at me and the rest of the family.
“Anything could have happened”, he said. “I had a right to know!”
I hadn’t fully let my son in because as a mother, I thought I was protecting him. He had a point though, that I should not have hidden anything from him. He could have received the news from other sources, or he could have heard the news from the grapevine which would even have caused him more harm.
In November 2015, I went to India for a pet scan and there was no trace of cancer in my body. I was exhilarated. I went down on my knees and I thanked God for giving me another opportunity, a new lease of life.
Today, I would like to encourage someone out there who has just been diagnosed, someone who is just about to go through chemo and does not know what to expect, someone who is scared that they are about to start radiotherapy. Take heart, my friend. Here are a few encouraging tips:
Those days when you have an appetite, eat well for there will be some days when you will not feel like eating.
When you feel like sleeping, do so, take a rest.
Talk to people, tell your family what you are going through. They have a right to know.
Ask friends and family to assist you with things that you are struggling to do. Let them know if you’re having financial challenges. Cancer treatment is very expensive. You’ll be amazed at how willing people are to help.
Read the bible and pray. God will always be your source of strength.
Faithfully go to the hospital for your appointments and treatment. Listen to what your doctors tell you. God gives them wisdom.
Positive Attitude
What is very important in the cancer journey is having a positive attitude. Sometimes you’ll have low moments -don’t worry, this is normal. Sometimes you’ll feel like crying -go on, don’t hold the tears, cry your heart out. Just do not let those few bad moments take control of your life. When you get over these moments, shake off the negative energy and draw strength from the good and positive things.
Surround yourself with positive people, they will be your source of inspiration. Play all your other roles well. Go to the office on days when you are not down with aftermath of chemo. Of course, be a parent and help with homework, take your kids out, go to church, go for social gatherings, be there for your children. Try and live your life normally and walk around with an aura of confidence.”
And that is Wanjiru’s inspirational story. You can follow Wanjiru on her blog: Pink Hearts Cancer Support
Mummy Talesby Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan momshere. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK lYOU TUBE l TWITTER
Three beautiful ladies with amazing and encouraging stories: news anchor Kanze Dena, media personality Janet Kanini Ikua and Njeri Kaberere -widow of the late gospel musician Peter Kaberere have been featured in singer Kambua’s latest song titled: Anatimiza.
Kanze Dena lost her infant daughter at three months. Janet Kanini allowed us to walk with her through her cancer journey. Njeri Kaberere lost her husband when she was nine months pregnant. Her husband was electrocuted as he washed his car one Sunday afternoon. Watch the video of the song below:
Why do Kenyan women die during childbirth, sometimes their newborns not making it as well? This is the story of Margaret Katilu, and a doctor who is defending her license after she was accused of causing the death of Margaret and her twins. This is information sourced from an article in The Star.
Margaret Katilu was a 34-year-old wife who was expecting twins. At 19 weeks pregnant, she underwent a McDonald stitch, which is a minor surgery where the cervix is stitched closed to prevent a miscarriage or premature birth. (I wrote about Selina Ojwang, who underwent a McDonald stitch and went on to have a successful pregnancy, having suffered miscarriages before. Read Selina’s story ).
Now back to Margaret Katilu. Sometime in her pregnancy, Margaret started vomiting and felt reduced foetal movement.
Dr. Mary Omamo, a gynecologist and consultant obstetrician at Kenya Methodist University Reproductive Health department, then attended to her at the Nairobi West Hospital. Margaret was 36 weeks pregnant. A scan on Margaret unfortunately revealed that one of the twins had died. The news would not get any better, for the dead baby was now affecting the other twin, and so a decision to urgently operate on Margaret was made since she was not in labour and vaginal delivery would require induction, which is contraindicated in twins.
Sadly, the dead baby’s fluids had already affected the second twin, who also died. Margaret was however in stable condition.
Dr. Omamo, in her affidavit, says after operating on Margaret, she wrote her treatment notes for the nurses’ attention, before leaving. At about 10pm, she was called by a Dr. Samba, who was agitated. A verbal exchange followed in relation to the dead twins, and not the condition of the patient.
Dr. Omamo says she was later informed that Margaret and her husband had terminated her services and taken up those of Dr. Joseph Ochieng.
The following morning, Dr. Omamo learnt that Margaret, who was stable, had collapsed and stopped breathing. She wrote her post-surgery notes and a postmortem was done, which confirmed there was no haemorrhage during surgery and that the cause of death could have been severe effects caused by a drug administered by Dr. Ochieng.
Dr. Omamo argues that she did not have any opportunity to manage the patient post-operatively, since she was switched to a different doctor the same night of the surgery. She now seeks to quash the decision of her suspension from private medical practice for six months, as directed by the Kenya Medical Practitioners and Dentists Board. The body also directed Dr. Omamo to undergo re-training at the Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital.
Dr. Omamo is challenging her suspension, saying she’ll suffer irreparable loss in her profession since she has patients to whom she must attend to while proceedings are pending.
And that is how Margaret Katilu and her twins died. But, why did Margaret and her twins die?
Christine Katio is a 32-year-old mother of two; Niki, aged 9 years and his sister Nina, aged 4 years. Christine works in the hospitality industry and today, she offers us insights into her motherhood experiences, including her breastfeeding experiences, her greatest fear as a mom, and what she packs in her children’s snack box. She spoke to Mummy Tales writer Sylvia Wakhisi.
Sylvia: Are you the type of mom who waits to find out the baby’s sex until they are born, or are you curious to know beforehand?
Christine: With my first born, I was very anxious to find out and so five months into the pregnancy, I went for a scan. However, with my second child, the doctor mentioned the baby’s sex to me ‘by chance’, and I remember being so excited to learn that I was having a girl!
Sylvia: How was the breastfeeding experience with your kids?
Christine: I must say they were very different. Interestingly, I’d always assumed that breastfeeding would be something easy, that it would come naturally, but how wrong I was! I was soon to learn that it’s an art that needs to be perfected.
With my son, breastfeeding was hard because sometimes he would not suckle well. It’s like he did not get enough milk even though I used to take lots and lots of fluids. But with my daughter, things were different and I found it much smoother, maybe because I’d already had experience with my son.
With both babies, I’d take lots of fluids and healthy food stuff such as bone soup, tea and njahi to boost my milk production. I got lots of support from my husband, who would always ensure that I had all the nutritious food stuff I needed for this purpose.
Sylvia: Talking about nutrition, what snacks do you pack for your kids?
Christine: My son is in class four while my daughter is in baby class, and so I have to ensure that they eat healthy so that they remain strong and active all day long. I pack different snacks for them, ranging from bread, pancakes and sweet potatoes. I also ensure to pack one fruit each day.
Sylvia: What is your favorite family activity to do on weekends?
Christine: On weekends or during school holidays, we enjoy visiting recreation spots where we share a meal as a family and play some games such as rope skipping and football. I love this because it helps us bond as a family.
Sylvia: How has your experience with house girls been?
Christine: One thing that I’m very grateful to God for is that I’ve had good and hardworking house helps. At least I have not had a bad one. So far, I have only employed three and the reason they leave is because they go to study.
