I hope that your year has started off on a positive note. My wish to you as we start the year is that God will give you the desires of your heart, and make your plans succeed.
I’d also like to sincerely thank you for your audience, for your love and for your support through the months, through the years.
So what do I have planned for the year? Lots of inspirational, educative and informative motherhood and parenting stories; told by me, and told by you. Let us all learn together.
Thank you for your company, and keep reading. Have a blessed year, from me and my boys.
It’s time for the annual Christmas holiday break, and for many Kenyan mothers who have employed house girls, many consider giving them ‘something small’ as they travel home as a gesture of appreciation for their work.
In this article, I spoke to a number of Kenyan mothers who will be appreciating their house girls, and how they will be doing so. From this, you can get an idea or two or three about how you can reward yours too.
1. Do some shopping for her mum
2. Buy her mum a modern energy-saving jiko
3. Buy outfits and shoes for each of her children
4. Pay for her transport (fare) to and from home
5. Buy her a significant amount of mobile phone airtime
6. Give her a bonus (you can double her salary or an amount you can genuinely afford)
A Kitenge fabric or tailored outfit for her and/or her mom will be a good idea.
7. Take her shopping for a dress of her choice, or tailor a lovely Kitenge outfit for her
8. Pay for her salon expenses just before she leaves. Many girls like going home in well-done braids or freshly retouched hair
9. Buy one or two good quality solar lanterns for use back at home
10. Gift her with a supermarket voucher. Because nowadays there are major supermarket chains in most towns, so she can stop by one on her way home and shop for her family there.
Bonus tip: Ask her what she wants and consider it (as long as it’s something reasonable within your means).
And by the way, if you chose to reward your house girl, remember you aren’t doing so as a bribe for her to come back in January. No, you are just appreciating her.
Whether she comes back or not, at least you’ll have done what your heart told you to do. It also doesn’t matter if she’s been with you for just one month, 6 months, 4 years or 10 years. If your heart tells you to do good, then just do good. Then sit back and wait for God’s abundance in your life :).
Feel free to share any other reward idea that you have. Meanwhile, read more Kenyan mom’s experienceshere.
Happy holidays!
Mummy Talesby Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan momshere. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK lYOU TUBE l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
The holiday season is one that many of us look forward to with such excitement and anticipation as it is the time we get to relax, meet up with relatives and friends we haven’t seen in a long time, as well as get to travel and explore different places. After a year of hard work, the December holidays are always a welcome relief to us.
However, for pregnant women who plan to travel, there are pieces of information that she should be knowledgeable about. Can she even travel in the first place? Are all means of transport safe for her or should she avoid some? What if she has experienced some complications in her pregnancy before –can she still travel? Well, I spoke to Dr. Stephen Mutiso, a gynaecologist at Kenyatta National Hospital (KNH) who offered more insights.
Maryanne: Can a Pegnant Woman Travel Long Distance by Road or Rail?
Dr. Stephen Mutiso of KNH.
Dr. Mutiso: Pregnant women travelling long distance should be wary about the risk of blood clot formation – a condition known as Deep Venous Thrombosis (DVT). DVT occurs due to stasis of blood in the lower limbs for a long time. Travelling long distances causes prolonged stasis of blood which can cause clot formation. Blood clots could be fatal.
Although long distance travel is not contraindicated for healthy pregnant women, it is important to take certain precautions to reduce the risk of DVT. Pregnant women traveling long distances by road or train are therefore advised to take 30 minutes breaks every two hours. During these breaks, they should walk around to improve blood flow from the legs.
Maryanne: How about Air Travel?
Dr. Mutiso: Just like road and rail travel, it is recommended that a pregnant woman traveling by air takes frequent breaks to stretch her legs and improve blood circulation in them for purposes of preventing the formation of blood clots. This is especially for flights that last many hours.
She should also know that air travel in pressurized airplanes for pregnant women is usually allowed up to 36 weeks. However, a doctor’s recommendation on a pregnant woman’s fitness to fly –even before 36 weeks is usually required by some airlines. So before you travel, check with the airline first.
Maryanne: Can She Travel if She’s Experienced Pregnancy Complications Before?
Dr. Mutiso: It’s not advisable for pregnant women who are already experiencing complications to travel. Some of these complications include; high blood pressure, rupture of membranes, premature labour and bleeding in pregnancy. It is not advisable for her to engage in unnecessary risk. But if at all she must travel, then she is advised to consult with her doctor before she does so.
Maryanne: How Far Can a Pregnant Woman Travel?
Dr. Mutiso: Pregnant women nearing their due date -usually from 36 weeks are not advised to travel far from the facility where they intend to deliver, because labour can begin earlier than expected.
It is also important to know that adequate hydration is crucial while travelling, and even more so for pregnant women. This is because lack of water in the body (dehydration) is a risk factor for clot formation. While travelling, it is advisable for every pregnant woman to take plenty of fluids –especially water to prevent dehydration.
Maryanne: Who Should be on her Speed Dial?
It is very important for her to have the contacts (especially mobile phone number) of her gynaecologist or antenatal care provider close by during the festive season. This is crucial especially if she should unfortunately get a problem while away from her provider. In such a case, her doctor would advise her accordingly, and if it is a problem that would require urgent attention, then the doctor would then be able to link her up with a colleague working in the area, or make contact with the closest health facility because most doctors have good networks across the country. The pregnant woman would get assistance at the hospital before he can get to her.
If she doesn’t have the contacts of her doctor, she should then take it upon herself to find out the nearest hospitals to her, incase of an emergency. She should also not forget to carry along her NHIF card or other medical insurance card as these can come in very handy when needed.
41 year-old Lucy Wangui Karanja works as a Librarian in a local media house. She has three children: a daughter aged 15 years and two sons aged 13 and 9 years. She had a chat with Mummy Tales writer SYLVIA WAKHISI about some of her experiences as a mom, and the most important tips she’d like to share with fellow moms.
Sylvia: As a mom, were you curious to find out the baby’s sex beforehand or did you wait until they were born?
Lucy: With my first pregnancy, I was very curious to know, and so I did the scan. It was a girl. I also checked with my second pregnancy (a boy), but for the third pregnancy, I wasn’t as curious because I already had a boy and girl, and so I didn’t mind either gender, and for that reason I didn’t check.
Sylvia: How was the breastfeeding experience with your kids?
Lucy: I must say that I got the breastfeeding support I needed with my kids, thankfully. The nurses at Mater Hospital in Nairobi were very supportive and always guided me on what to do (I delivered all my babies at Mater). I also had a very close friend who was my neighbor and a mom too, and she’d come to my house and show me what I needed to do, as well as offer me advice on diet, hygiene and proper breastfeeding positions, and other general information on raising a child. I exclusively breastfed my children for the first six months.
Sylvia: What did you wish you’d known about having a newborn?
Lucy: That newborns don’t require a lot of outdoors since they pick diseases easily, and this affects their immunity.
Sylvia: What is the one baby/child product you find hard to live without?
Lucy: Cussons baby oil! I use it till today.
Sylvia: What snacks do you pack for your kids when they go to school?
Lucy: I pack snacks such as mandazi, sausages, crisps and a fruit depending on availability. I alternate the variety of snacks each day.
Sylvia: What is your favorite family activity to do on weekends?
Lucy: We prefer doing lunch together especially on a Sunday afternoons after church. We get to bond as a family. The kids also get time to have fun outdoors as their dad and I catch up.
Sylvia: How has your experience with house girls been?
Lucy: It was particularly difficult during my children’s formative years, but it kept getting better as they grew. From my experience, I noticed that many house girls don’t like being with kids who tie them up in the house all day long, or they can’t cope with babies’ cries, having to change soiled diapers etc. Actually, after the birth of my first child, I had to resign from work when she was 1-year-old to take care of her. I went on to be a stay-at-home mom until when my last born was 3 years old. I went back to work after I had all my babies.
Mary Onguko-Wanyonyi is a Kenyan mother living and working in Nairobi. Today, I share her story on an experience that she and her family went through regarding her daughter’s clubfoot condition.
“When I finally boarded the plane to take my daughter to the US for her clubfoot treatment review, that was when I knew that 2016 was an anointed year for my family.
My 8-year-old daughter Serena had a 100 percent possibility of clubfoot recurrence by the age of 10 if the condition was not arrested immediately.
You see, Serena was born with a bilateral clubfoot, meaning that it was present in both feet. Clubfoot describes a range of foot abnormalities usually present at birth (congenital) in which the baby’s foot is twisted out of shape or position (source).
Even though Serena had undergone several medical interventions with regard to her clubfoot, including surgery, local doctors had advised us to wait until she was 10 years old to see the outcome.
My mommy instincts however dictated otherwise, as I didn’t seem that very convinced about waiting till she was 10 years. This then led me to engage in lots and lots of research both locally and internationally, until we eventually landed into the able hands of Dr. Mathew Dobbs, who is one of the world’s best renowned and most sought-after clubfoot doctor.
Mary with her two children Serena and Baraka during thier stay in the US as Serena underwent medical treatment for her clubfoot.
Amazingly, Dr. Dobbs not only offered a free review of Serena, but also linked my family to the best Kenyan community in the US –Vitendo 4 Africa.
We got to not only travel for the treatment -which was successful in leaps and bounds, but we also got to be on holiday for close to 3 months (talk of visiting Chicago and being absolutely wowed by the Willis Tower).
I am most thankful to God for life, good health and the gift of this life-changing opportunity for our daughter Serena. By the way, it turned out that waiting until Serena was 10 years old would have been too late. I’m glad I trusted my instincts as they led me to the right path.
It has really been a journey for our family, but in all things we have always given and continue to give thanks.
Mary and her family enjoying a moment at the Willis Tower.
I would also like to thank:
Dr. Mathew Dobbs for his selfless love and care not only to our daughter, but to my whole family.
Vitendo 4 Africa and the Kenyan community in St. Louis for taking care of us fully (food, trips, love and prayers) while in the US.
Geoffrey Soyiantet (President of Vitendo 4 Africa) for being there for me and the family every single day of our 3 month stay there.
My family: the Onguko’s and Wafula’s for being my pillar and mark of strength during my most trying and weak moments. It would really have been difficult without their support.
My house girl Auntie Hellen for not only keeping us in prayers but also ensuring that our house was well maintained during the three months we were away.
My beloved friends and relatives for their love and support –that was so generously shown to my family
My employer for embracing my absence from work with so much ease and allowing me to work on flexi times, and also for graciously welcoming me back to the office upon my return.
My husband for holding my hands through it all with such reassuring love
Mary and her husband. When a picture speaks more than a thousand words.
To all parents, I want to encourage you to continue holding on to hope, even when all things look bleak. God will always have your back. I have seen Him come through for me, Serena and my family, and I know He will do the same for you too. Never lose sight of your faith in Him. Indeed, as for me and my house, we will always serve the Lord.”
Do you have an encouraging experience that you would like to share with other parents? Email me on maryanne@mummytales.com
Mummy Talesby Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan momshere. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK lYOU TUBE l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
A beautiful, happy pregnant woman. Photo: Eve'smama
Have you ever been caught in a situation where you wonder what baby shower gift you can buy for your pregnant friend who has basically bought everything there is to be bought? The one who has just about gotten everything and is only waiting for baby’s arrival? Well, I’ve experienced this, where I really racked my brain over what to buy. So in case you’re caught up in the same, here are some ideas that I thought of, feel free to add to the list.
1. Lactation cookies. These are not just any cookies, but special oatmeal raisin lactation cookies that are good for boosting breast milk supply. The cookies are also nutritious and keep energy levels up. Get her a box or two of these –she’ll need them when baby comes. They are available from Toto Touch.
2. Massage and Spa Voucher. You may get her a relaxing massage that will help reduce some of the pregnancy discomforts especially in the later stages, such as backaches, leg cramps, neck discomfort and general feelings of fatigue. However, be sure to get her someone who is well knowledgeable about prenatal massage and the do’s and don’ts. This is very important.
3. Supermarket Shopping Voucher. Even though she has everything she needs, shopping for any woman is always a welcome affair! Because she will almost always find there’s something she doesn’t have once she checks into the supermarket. So get her this voucher.
4. Organic Mothers’ Milk Tea Bags. These herbal tea bags are taken by a breastfeeding mom to help her increase and maintain her breast milk production and thus promote healthy lactation. Not only are they tasty, but they also help keep her well hydrated during breastfeeding. They are available from Toto Touch.
5. A Personal Care Gift Basketcontaining a selection of lovelies such as a body butter, shower gel, bath salts, natural soap, body scrub, foot soaks or natural hair products if she’s a naturalista. Get products that are free from harsh chemicals and strong smells but yet which still have that yummy soft smell that will leave her feeling fresh, nice and not irritated. Because surely life can’t be all about dirty diapers, breast milk stains, burps and spit ups…
This is the story of 32-year-old Eve Kabiru who shares her motherhood experience with us, which includes trying for a baby, being blessed with a son, suffering a miscarriage, and trying to conceive again.
“I share my story today because I’ve finally found the courage to talk about it two years after my miscarriage. After I got married, I stayed for three years without conceiving, even though I wasn’t on any contraceptive. It was very stressful because I didn’t know what the problem was. Thankfully though, I eventually conceived and bore my son in February 2011. It was an ecstatic moment.
But I would soon be stressed again because of my weight. I had added so many kilos during the pregnancy that my weight appeared abnormal. I thought breastfeeding would help me shed some of it, but it did not. Even though I wasn’t overeating and I was exercising, the kilos were just not dropping and I remained clearly overweight. It didn’t help matters much that people would criticize me about it. Some friends would make snide comments -sometimes openly, sometimes subtly.
“Gosh Eve, you’ve added so much weight after having your baby! Control your eating! Do some workouts!” they would say.
My face also changed and became oily, giving me a shiny look. The same friends would interrogate me on why this was so. I felt bad because I didn’t know why my face had changed or why I was overweight. I felt so helpless. None of them took time to ask me if anything was wrong, and I chose not to tell them anyway, instead preferring to keep just a few friends –only those who seemed to have some empathy for me.
In 2012, I noticed hair growth on my toes and laughed it off, consoling myself that after all, no one would know about it! I also started getting easily irritated, characterized by crazy mood swings where I would snap at the slightest provocation. So I decided to keep to myself and avoid people. I ended up losing quite a number of friends in the process. I thank God for the few friends and family members who stood by me.
I then began experiencing great abdominal pains and even though they worried me, I ignored the need to go see a doctor. But months later, when the pain became extremely unbearable, I decided to go to the doctor who recommended several tests.
The test results revealed a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which is a condition that affects women of reproductive age, and is caused by an imbalance of reproductive hormones. This hormonal imbalance creates problems in the ovaries. Irregular or prolonged menstrual periods, excess weight, excess hair growth and acne can all occur in women with PCOS.
Following the diagnosis, I found myself asking so many questions: What did it mean for me? Was it a cancerous condition? For how long was I going to have the cysts? What was going to happen to me?
When I was a new mom, the practice of caring for my baby’s umbilical cord stump came with its own apprehensions, I must admit. Something I want to believe that many other new moms can relate to. Thankfully though, the hospital nurse graciously showed me how to do so before I got discharged. In summary, what she told me was:
Clean it with spirit three times a day until it falls off on its own (I was given the spirit and cotton wool that I needed to use for this). She emphasized the part that it should fall off on its own.
The stump will change color from whitish to blackish as it continues to dry until it eventually falls off
Treat the area gently
Keep the area clean
Keep the area dry
I however remember what stressed me most was how to wear the baby’s diaper. Was I to dress it over the cord stump (with its little peg) and risk it being rubbed and therefore causing it to bleed, maybe even forcefully fall off and possibly lead to an infection…(yikes), or was I to fold the diaper beneath the stump area just to make sure the cord area was left undisturbed? That really stressed me out.
Me and my second son Ello having a moment. Boy is now all grown up 🙂
Also, I wondered how the bathing would be done. Was I to soak baby in water with soap when doing so, or was I just to sponge bath him just to make sure the cord stump (and its little peg) were not disturbed?
Did you ask yourself these questions too? What did you do? Did you by any chance feel like pulling it off a little bit towards the end when it was very clear that it was just about to fall off? Feel free to share in the comments section below.
In the meantime, I have some helpful information from Dr. Adil Waris, Consultant Paediatric Pulmonologist and Lecturer at The Aga Khan University & The University of Nairobi regarding the care of the cord in a newborn baby that can guide new parents:
The cord must be wiped with surgical spirit 3 times a day until the cord falls off which is usually by day ten.
Even after the cord has fallen off, off continue swabbing the area with surgical spirit for a few more days until there is no discharge of fluid.
Do not insert cotton buds with spirit into the belly button as the skin there is still soft and raw.
Mummy Talesis a blog dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood and women. Mummy Tales is arecipient of three awards: Bloggers Association of Kenya (BAKE) awards in the Best Topical Blog category (2014 and 2016), and the top Women and Girls Empowerment blog in Africa (2016) by the African Blogger Awards -sponsored by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Follow Mummy Tales on:FACEBOOKl INSTAGRAMl TWITTER
Do you sometimes look at a young person who is so ‘put together’, youngsters that are role models, that you end up praying that your child will become just like them (and even better)? That you sometimes wonder, what did their parents do to ensure that they turned out that good? What did the children themselves do to stay on the right path?
Well, I’m sure there are no definite answers to this, but through their experiences, we can learn a thing or two and that’s why today we feature the story of Ruth Ambogo, who is the incoming president of Law Students Society of Kenya. The 22 year-old is currently pursuing a Law degree at Strathmore University. Ruth is also the founder of World Young Women Council, and the Country Director of MentorMe Africa. Ruth spoke to Mummy Tales writer SYLVIA WAKHISI.
Sylvia: Who is Ruth Ambogo?
Ruth:I am the first born in a family of four, and I come from a very humble background. I have a great passion for leadership and mentorship and mentor young people on the same. I run #ConversationsThatInspireGreatness on my social media pages (Facebook and Twitter @RuthAmbogo)
Sylvia: Tell us your story
Ruth: I was born and raised in both Vihiga and HomaBay counties. My parents’ small kerosene business is basically what sustained us. Thankfully, my parents are strong believers in the power of education, and always did their best to ensure we went to school, despite the great challenges they faced.
I particularly remember when their kerosene business began collapsing when I was in class 6. Life became really tough after that. We had to be in the shamba over the weekends by 5.30 am as it was the only way we would be assured of getting food. Many times, my parents would negotiate with my primary school director to allow me to stay in school without paying school fees because they didn’t have any money. As they did so, my dad would always remind me that, “We have nothing else to offer you except the chance to receive an education and make your lives different from the one we are living. So you better make the most of it.”
His words remained deeply etched in my memory and inspired me to always work hard in school. They rang in my head constantly throughout my primary school days at Rongo Success Academy in Migori, where I worked so hard and secured admission to Loreto Limuru Girls School, a top national school in Kenya.
While at Loreto Limuru, my family’s financial challenges persisted. Many times I lacked certain basic needs and would rely on the help of the guidance and counseling office that would provide me with little supplies. I also remember the countless times I was sent home due to lack of school fees. This affected my grades significantly to the point where I started scoring D’s in most of my units in Forms 2 and 3.
Wangu Kanja is the first sexual assault survivor I ever interviewed. I greatly admired Wangu for her strength and bravery in relieving a very painful episode in her life. I admired her for her quest to use her experience to bring about change regarding one of the gravest ills in society. As we draw nearer to the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, I today share with you Wangu’s story, with the Wangu Kanja Foundation being a helpful resource on sexual and gender-based violence. This is part of the article I published in The Standard newspaper from my interview with her in 2008.
“What if I had skipped work that morning?” “What if it had not rained and there was no traffic snarl-up in the city?” This fruitless attempt to re-arrange a traumatic past is a matter that 32-year-old Wangu Kanja is all too familiar with. For almost three years, these “What if?” questions dominated her mind. She spent these dreadful years in a depressed mood, involuntarily drowned in the sea of self-blame following a harrowing attack. These “What if?” questions, for which there were no easy answers, were slowly and insidiously crippling her psyche.
In 2002, Wangu lived through an experience that will be forever etched in her memory. A marketing consultant with a taxi firm in Nairobi, she was pursuing a potentially lucrative transport deal with an important client. She was ready to pull out all the stops — even if it meant travelling late at night. Wangu remembers that on the evening when she went to meet her business contact, it was cold and rainy, and the evening traffic in Nairobi was heavy. Driving with the client, who was accompanied by his friend, Wangu recalls that he decided to stop at his house to pick his pullover. Thereafter, the two would drive Wangu to her home.
It was however at the man’s gate in Kimathi Estate, Nairobi, that they were accosted by another vehicle. Suddenly, three men in the other vehicle stepped out and roughly forced their way into Wangu’s car. As they were driven away, a fourth gang member followed closely in the car they had come in. Perhaps to ensure that they were not followed, the men drove in circles around BuruBuru and Outering areas.
Wangu Kanja
Finally, after what appeared like a lifetime, the armed men stopped both vehicles at a dark alley. Shoving and ordering them about, they mercilessly hounded Wangu’s colleagues into the trailing vehicle, before abandoning them. All four gang members then drove off with Wangu as their lone captive.
“It was about 10.30pm. As I sat in the company of the four strangers, I basically knew my life was over. I made a silent prayer, hoping against hope that some sort of miracle would happen.”
Her fears were somewhat assuaged when one of the men assured her that no harm would befall her because, he said, she was like a sister to them. “There was some sincerity in his eyes,” Wangu recalls. “His tone of voice offered me some comfort.”
