When your teen loses her best friends: helping her cope with friendship grief

Jul 27, 2026

Parenting dilemma: When your teenager loses friends, how can you help them cope?

By Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com

As children grow into teenagers, friendships become a very important part of their lives. Friends can influence them in many different ways, including shaping their confidence, sense of identity and belonging. So, when those friendship change -especially in ways the teen didn’t expect, it can cause them great emotional distress. Sometimes, they may let their parents know what’s happening, sometimes they may not. And when parents become aware of what’s happening, they may not know the best way to help.

And that is the dilemma we explore today on Mummy Tales, where a mother seeks advice after her daughter realized that she had been excluded from the close-knit group of friends she grew up with. Mrs. Beatrice Nguo, a Counselling Psychology practitioner based in Nairobi, explains why parents should recognize friendship loss as a genuine form of grief even for a teenager, and offers practical ways on how to help a teenager process the experience and move forward.

The parent’s question:

“My daughter seems to have lost the close friendship she shared with her friends after completing Grade 9, and I’m not sure how I can best support her. This is what happened: They were a group of five close friends in the same primary school in Nairobi. My daughter performed well in her final exams and was admitted to a good national secondary school outside Nairobi. The other girls all remained within Nairobi; two joined the same day school, while the other two went to different boarding schools. She still loves and holds them very close and always thinks of them as her best friends.

Recently, my daughter came to realize that she has been excluded from their conversations and activities. During mid-term, one of the girls hosted a birthday party and invited the others, but my daughter didn’t receive an invite. She cried the entire mid-term, asking me what she had done wrong to her friends. I talked to her, telling her that that is the nature of friendships -that some change over time and with different circumstances, and that it is part of life and it’s something she’ll have to deal with as she grows up.

She’s since back to school, but her teacher recently called me telling me she’s noticed something off about her. When they spoke, my daughter told her that she’s sad that she’s no longer in the circle of her friends and is deeply disturbed about what she could have done wrong. She insisted that she be transferred to a school in Nairobi as she feels that being away from the city is the reason she no longer fits in the group.

Now I realize that the issue is affecting her much more than I thought. I told the teacher to just try and counsel her like I had done, about the nature of friendships and how they evolve over time. What else should I do right now before she closes school? And what should I do during the school holidays when she comes?”

A counsellor responds:

“I once asked a friend how children cope with life’s challenges when they have only one or two siblings, compared to us who grew up with many siblings to support one another during tough times. Her response shed light on a few questions I had about the child in this situation. She explained that our children often form friendships that are closer than sibling relationships, allowing these friends to provide the same support as siblings.

In the case of the girl mentioned here, she’s experiencing a deep sense of loss that is significantly distracting her. Any loss can be a major distraction, and that is true for children as well.

To the parents:

It’s unfortunate because, by extension, we parents find ourselves sharing in our children’s grief. There are several things we can do to help, especially for our child.

First, remember that she is grieving the loss of her friends. Offer her a listening ear to understand her situation. Just as you would for anyone who is grieving, show empathy for her feelings.

Talk to her about the importance of relationships in our lives. Where possible, provide her with real-life examples to illustrate that friendships can change with time. As she navigates new experiences and grows, some friendships may fade away.

Check on her regularly and reassure her that you are present for her. Encourage her to open up if she wants to talk, and make sure she feels your support.

Gently encourage her to warm up to her new classmates and schoolmates to foster new friendships and companionships.

Let her know that changing schools to maintain her old relationships won’t last forever. Soon, they will be off to university, and chances are they won’t all be in the same location.

Ask her if there were any signs before the birthday party that indicated her friendships might be changing, and use that insight to help her process her emotions.

During the holidays, be present for her and encourage her to build friendships within the family and with family friends who are likely to remain consistent in her life. She can always bounce back to these when other relationships change. Let her know that her family loves her and will be present for her.” ***

Thanks madam Beatrice for your counsel.

For sure, friendships are among the first relationships our children choose for themselves, and when those relationships change, the pain can be very real. As parents, while we may not be able to spare our children from heartbreak, we can help them feel supported as they learn that friendships, like many parts of life, do actually evolve.

How about you? Have you ever had a similar experience, where you watched your teen go through the loss of a close friendship? How did you support them, and what helped them heal from the experience? Please share your experience in the comments or you can write to me at maryanne@mummytales.com as you just never know who your experience might help.

Also, one of the most comforting things about parenting is discovering that you’re not the only one asking a particular question. Do you have a parenting dilemma you’d like to share? Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and it’s all about learning from each other. If you’re facing a parenting dilemma with your child, or if you’ve ever navigated one and would like to help other parents learn from your experience, please email me at maryanne@mummytales.com Your story can be published anonymously if you prefer. Let’s do this together.

Mummy Tales by Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBE l TWITTER

Featured photo by Mitchel Onwuchuruba, pexels.

African women writers invited to apply for new, fully funded literary residency

Maryanne W. Waweru

Jun 10, 2026

By Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com

Are you a woman who has been dreaming about becoming a published author? Well, there’s a new exciting opportunity that may just help you realize your dreams.

Majesty Publishing House Africa has announced the launch of the inaugural ‘Africa Women Writers Residency’, a fully funded four-week programme designed to nurture emerging women writers from across Africa and help bring their stories to a wider audience.

The residency, to be held in September 2026, will bring together 12 women writers from across Africa. Participants will receive mentorship from established African authors, take part in workshops and guest lectures, and will ultimately have their work published in an anthology titled New African Voices: Stories That Shape Africa’s Future. African women writers largely remain underrepresented in mainstream publishing, and this residency is a direct, structured response to that.

The residency will begin with three weeks of virtual workshops, followed by a week-long in-person immersion experience in Nairobi, Kenya. Majesty Publishing House Africa* will cover all the expenses for the selected writers including travel, accommodation, meals, local transport, and cultural activities.

The residency comes at a time when conversations about authentic African storytelling continue to gain momentum globally.

Speaking during the announcement, Majesty Publishing House Africa CEO Lorraine Onduru said the residency is a direct investment in African women’s storytelling.

“There has never been a more global appetite for African voices, yet too many of our most promising women writers lack the infrastructure to develop their craft and reach readers at scale,” she said, adding that the publishing commitment will not end at the close of the residency.

Who Can Apply?

The residency is open to women writers who:

Are citizens of any African country
Do not currently have literary representation through an agent
Write fiction, fantasy, creative non-fiction, memoir, and poetry
Are emerging writers with a strong body of work, whether published or unpublished
Are proficient in written and spoken English
Are available for the full four-week programme, including the in-person Nairobi residency week in September 2026

There is no age restriction.

Application Requirements

Applicants are required to submit:

A 250-word motivation letter introducing themselves and explaining their interest in the residency
A writing sample on the theme “A New Dawn for Africa”

The writing sample may be submitted in one of the following formats:

An essay or short story of up to 1,000 words
One poem of up to 1,000 words
Two poems with a combined total of approximately 1,000 words

Applications should be sent to residency@majestypublishingafrica.com

The deadline for applications is 22 June 2026.

So, in case you’ve been quietly writing in notebooks, sharing your work online, or nurturing a manuscript that has never seen the light of day, this is your time to shine. Take advantage of this opportunity. All the best!

Also read: ‘Amani and the Last Seed’ -how one Kenyan author is teaching kids about climate action

*Founded in 2022, Majesty Publishing House Africa is an independent Pan-African publisher dedicated to shaping authentic African narratives through storytelling.

“I thought I would lose this pregnancy too, until an emergency stitch saved my baby”

Maryanne W. Waweru

Jun 8, 2026

For many women, becoming a mother isn’t as straightforward as they had always imagined it would be when they were younger. After suffering two heartbreaking miscarriages, Berrita, 34, was convinced that motherhood would just never be for her. And so when she conceived for the third time, she found herself holding her breath, worried that history would repeat itself. Did it? This is her story, as shared with Maryanne W. Waweru.

“My journey to motherhood was not an easy one. In fact, at some point, I never thought I would ever be called ‘mother’, something that I desired so much. The reason I say this is because I lost my first two pregnancies through miscarriage -the first one at nine weeks and the second at 11 weeks.

At the hospital, they would clean me up without ever clearly explaining to me why I was losing my pregnancies. I would just be told to make sure I ate well and did not do heavy duties to reduce the chances of another miscarriage. Losing both my pregnancies was so saddening, I don’t even like thinking about it.

When I conceived for the third time, I feared it would end the same way, though I avoided such thoughts as I didn’t want to jinx myself.

So I held on to hope. I ate well, took all my supplements and avoided heavy, straining chores. I was over the moon when I reached 12 weeks -something that had never happened before.

I nevertheless continued being cautious, doing everything possible to make sure the baby stayed in. You can imagine how happy I was when I got to 20 weeks. Weren’t those five months? I showed off my belly proudly. God had done it for me.

At 24 weeks, I remember going shopping for baby clothes -something that I hadn’t been able to do before. At Toi market, I finally got to enjoy the experience, something that I had wanted to do for so long. I selected the clothes as we chatted and shared laughter with other expectant moms. I was finally going to join the prestigious ‘mother’s club’ -a community that I had only been looking on from the outside for years.

It’s happening again

Well, barely a week later, my body started giving signs that something wasn’t right. It was a familiar feeling; a strong pressure in my pelvic area. Not pain, just intense pressure. I broke down in tears. I knew what was happening inside my body. No, not again!

When I went to the hospital, they didn’t waste time reassuring me that I just relax, that I would be fine. I wanted to believe them, but I had heard those words twice before, and things hadn’t been fine.

This time though, something different happened. The medic who saw me said that he suspected my cervix was dilating early, and suggested that I be reviewed by a doctor who had more experience in managing high-risk pregnancies. He was a general physician, and he referred me to a gynaecologist. He however warned me that I would need to dig deeper into my pockets as specialists don’t come cheap.

Nothing was going to stop me from becoming a mother. I was ready to part with my savings.

Read another cervical stitch story: Selina Ojwang and the stitch in time that prevented her miscarriage

For sure, the new doctor confirmed that indeed, my cervix was already dilating. I didn’t even fully understand what that meant at the time, but I could see it in his face. He said something like I had an incompetent cervix, and suggested that I immediately get a cervical stitch.

Everything moved very fast after that. I had to get an emergency stitch placed, what I came to learn is called a McDonald stitch. I had never even heard of it before. Maybe if I had had gotten cervical stiches before, my other pregnancies could have been saved? Anyway, I chose not to dwell on that, because it would only cause me unnecessary stress.

Recovering from cervical stitch procedure

After the procedure, I was put on complete bed rest. And when they say complete, they mean it. As in complete complete. No moving around at all. My world became confined to my 5 x 6 bed. Thank God I had recently bought a new set of bedsheets and duvets from Kamukunji. The new linen at least brightened up my days, which were otherwise filled with panic, prayers and bargaining with God. I would tell Him that I would do anything for Him if He let my baby survive.

As the days went by, any unusual feeling would cause me such panic. Was this it? Was I losing this one too? Fear dominated me as I counted the months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds…

But I held on and followed the doctor’s instruction like my life depended on it, because, it actually did.

Well, we made progress. I prayed and didn’t take anything for granted and before I knew it, I had reached 30 weeks. Then 32 weeks. Then 35 weeks!

That cervical stitch had changed everything.

Finally, at 38 weeks, my body went into labor naturally. I remember being in disbelief, like, was this really happening? Was I going to become a mom?

When I held my son in my arms, everything stood still. I was finally a mother. I cried for days.

My son is two years old and I still find myself tearing up to date. I have not tried getting pregnant again, maybe for fear of another disappointment. I’m just content with this little one that I have -for now at least.

To all women out there who hope to become mothers someday, I hold you very closely in my heart. May it happen for you too. Hugs.”

Also read: “Tomorrow, I lose my uterus” -a Kenyan mum’s journey before surgery

If you have gone through a pregnancy experience that you would like to share (even anonymously) to encourage another woman, write to me at maryanne@mummytales.com

Featured image: Ceaser Photography on Pexels

‘Amani and the Last Seed’ -how one Kenyan author is teaching kids about climate action

Maryanne W. Waweru

May 7, 2026

cynthia-wambua-amani-and-the-last-seed-interview — Author Cynthia Wambua during her book launch on 25 April 2026.

By Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com

At just 25, Cynthia Wambua is already telling stories that matter. A communication specialist and filmmaker, Cynthia is now adding the title of ‘children’s author’ to her growing list of accomplishments with her debut book Amani and the Last Seed. Driven by a deep passion for environmental conservation and authentic African storytelling, Cynthia is on a mission to raise a generation of children who see themselves as part of the solution to the world around them.

Amani and the Last Seed, a Kenyan children’s book targeting ages 4 – 10 years, introduces readers to Amani, a brave, thoughtful girl who takes action to protect her environment. Through this story, children learn that even the smallest of actions can make a big difference.

Launched on Saturday 25 April 2026, the book is available at Nuria Bookstore and through Majesty Publishing House Africa, its publisher. You can also order a copy directly from the author on +254 715 794 586.

In this interview with Mummy Tales, Cynthia shares the inspiration behind her first book, why representation matters in children’s literature, and how parents can nurture a love for reading in their children while raising little changemakers along the way.

Maryanne: Briefly tell us what Amani and the Last Seed is about.

Cynthia: Amani and the Last Seed tells the story of a young girl living in the village of Kidani, who stumbles upon what may be the last remaining seed. Through this seed, Amani takes it upon herself to restore her village which has been harshly affected by climate change. Her actions demonstrate how one small act can lead to transformation.

Maryanne: What inspired you to write Amani and the Last Seed, especially as your first published book?

Cynthia: I was inspired to write Amani and the Last Seed because I wanted to tell the story of Wangari Maathai through her lens as a hero. I am also deeply passionate about nature and environmental conservation, so it felt like the perfect story to begin with.

Maryanne: Why did you choose environmental conservation as the central theme for a children’s story?

Cynthia: I love nature, especially the importance of taking care of trees and our environment. It’s something I want to instil in the younger generation, for them to understand that the power to protect and preserve the environment is in their hands.

Maryanne: Amani is portrayed as a young girl taking initiative. What message were you hoping children would take from her journey?

Cynthia: I want children to see themselves as the heroes this world needs for change to happen. It’s not just an adult’s responsibility -that they too can take the lead in creating positive change in society.

Maryanne: How important was it for you to create a strong African child as the main character in your story?

Cynthia: Growing up, most of the stories I read featured white characters as the heroes. I rarely saw African characters portrayed as powerful or heroic. My writing was an intentional move to change that narrative and to show that an African child can also be a hero, and to give society a chance to read stories about us, written by us. That is why my book features a young African child as the hero.

cynthia-wambua-amani-and-the-last-seed — Author Cynthia Wambua (left) with Lorraine Onduru of Majesty Publishing House Africa during the book’s launch.

Maryanne: What does ‘authentic African storytelling’ in children’s literature mean to you?

Cynthia: It means telling stories that come from within us, stories rooted in our culture, experiences and identity, and as told by Africans.

Maryanne: What role do you think parents play in nurturing a love for reading?

Cynthia: Parents play a leading role. Reading should not feel like an academic task, but as a fun way to spend time together, just like in the old times when grandparents would share stories by the fireside about old legends.

Maryanne: What conversations do you hope this book will spark between parents and their children?

Cynthia: I hope that this book will remind children to believe in themselves and that nothing is impossible. I also hope it encourages parents to reassure their children that they are not too small or young to dream big and make a change.

Maryanne: How can African parents encourage their children to connect more with locally relevant stories?

Cynthia: They can:

Make local stories part of daily life
Buy and support African-authored books
Use storytelling as a bonding activity
Encourage children to tell and recreate stories they hear and read

Maryanne: What are some simple ways Kenyan mums can inculcate a reading culture in their homes?

Cynthia: They can make reading a normal and enjoyable part of everyday life. Most importantly, they can be a visible reading role model since children learn a lot from what they see.

Maryanne: What was the most challenging part of writing your first book?

Cynthia: I intend to have this as a series of African heroes, and so choosing the hero who will take the lead for others was a bit challenging, as we have many African heroes whose stories are yet to be told. Finding the publishing house that understands and carries the vision of telling African stories was also challenging, but I was gIad to have found Majesty Publishing House Africa who carried the vision.

Maryanne: From idea to publication. How long did that journey take?

Cynthia: It took almost two years. This is because it is something I wanted to be strategic about and needed to have a sense of direction of the why and what matters most. So even after I got the idea to write about our heroes, I needed all the support I could get to bring my idea to life, and this took quite some time. I was, however, glad to get the right people to work with.

Maryanne: What has the response been like since the book’s launch?

Cynthia: The response has been so great, and the book has been received positively, making a lot of sales despite it being just two weeks old in the market. I am truly grateful. One parent even shared that her son, who attended the launch and got a copy, was inspired and just begun writing -his point of reference being my book.

Maryanne: Are there plans to expand Amani’s story into a series or other formats?

Cynthia: Yes! The book is currently being adapted into an animation, and I am also preparing the next story featuring another African hero. This will be part of a series highlighting different African heroes. That’s what’s next for me.

Thanks Cynthia and all the best.

So that was my converstion with Cynthia. As a mum and a storyteller myself, I truly believe that the books we place in our children’s hands matter. Amani and the Last Seed is one of those stories worth sharing. I encourage you to get a copy, not just for your child, but for the both of you. Read it together. Talk about it. You might be surprised by how much they already understand, and how eager they are to create change around them.

Are you a woman Kenyan author? If you would you like to featured on the Mummy Tales blog, send an email with a brief introduction about yourself and your book to maryanne@mummytales.com

Also read:‘Deportee’ by Wanjiku Gitagia: book review & interview

Also read:‘Shadows in my Sunshine’ by Beth Ruga: book review & interview

Also read: ‘The Strength we Share’ by Diana A. Otieno book review & interview

Also read:‘Risking it All’ by Anna-Maria Mwachinga book review

“Tomorrow, I lose my uterus” -a Kenyan mum’s journey before surgery

Maryanne W. Waweru

Apr 29, 2026

This is the hysterectomy story of a 37-year-old Kenyan mother preparing to undergo the surgery tomorrow. On the eve of the surgery, she opens up about the fears, questions, struggles, doubts and other quiet thoughts going through her mind.

As told to Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com

“Tomorrow, I will be undergoing a hysterectomy. That is, I’ll be having my uterus removed. At this time tomorrow, the very body in my organ that, in many ways, is tied to a woman’s identity (at least according to society) will no longer be a part of me. And that thought both terrifies and relives me in equal measure.

My procedure is scheduled for 3pm. Tonight, as I sit here on my bed after putting my children to sleep, I’m experiencing a cocktail of emotions. My mind is not at ease. Hundreds of questions are furiously racing through it.

Is this the right decision? What will I feel after the surgery? Will I still feel like a woman? Will I still be a woman? What if something goes wrong? Is it too late to change my mind?

So how did I get here?

My womanhood and I have been in battle for quite a while now. My children are aged 11 and 13 years. When I turned 30, I started experiencing heavy bleeding, but I adjusted, just like many women do. I thought it was manageable. But by the time I was 33, I was soaking through two maxi-thick pads in an hour. The heavy bleeding, accompanied by intense cramping, was a nightmare.

Discovering I had fibroids

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to see a doctor who, after physcially examining my abdomen, suspected fibroids. He sent me for a scan which indeed confirmed that I had fibroids. Surgery to remove them was recommended, but I was too scared to have it.

So I spoke to a few women who advised that I try local herbal remedies to shrink the fibroids. I tried them, hoping they would work. But they didn’t (and they cost a pretty penny by the way).

I remember one time feeling so fatigued, drained and completely out of energy. When I started feeling dizzy, I knew things were bad and rushed to the hospital. Tests were done and my bloodwork showed that my haemoglobin level was 7.2. I was told that I have anaemia. My body didn’t have enough iron, courtesy of the heavy bleeding.

The decision to have surgery

At 35, when the blood loss and accompanying pain were too much, and with constantly needing to swallow iron supplements that made my poo as black as soot, I gave in. I was too tired. I decided to have the fibroids removed.

However, I was warned by fellow women who had undergone the procedure before.

“They will grow back,” they said.

But by then, I was too tired to think that far ahead and just wanted a solution. I would deal with other issues later.

Then, a few days later I thought about it again and decided not to have the surgery. I convinced myself to try local herbal remedies again, especially after reading a few encouraging testimonies from some women.

But again, they didn’t work for me. The pain and the bleeding got worse.

I endured this until last month when one day, I collapsed at work. Someone told me that if I didn’t address the underlying cause of the anaemia, my other organs would begin being affected.

The decision to have my uterus removed

I don’t know about the accuracy of that information, but it scared me enough. I decided that I was going to have the surgery. This time not to remove the fibroids, but to remove the entire unit -the uterus altogether. I was done. I didn’t want to deal with periods again. I also don’t plan on having more children, so the uterus is going.

So here I am now. A part of me knows this surgery will finally bring me the relief I have desired for so long. But another part of me also feels like I’m losing something so important to me as a woman. Who will I be without a uterus? It’s the loss of a key body organ, you know. How will I feel afterwards? Will I feel hollow? Will I still feel like a woman? Will I regret it?

What has made this even more confusing is all the advice coming from other women.

Some have told me, “Make sure they don’t remove your ovaries.”

And I keep wondering -why? What is it about the ovaries? What happens if they remove them?

Others have told me to ask my doctor about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), and now that has made me even more afraid. Hormonal therapy? That sounds big. And complicated.

I fear that if I keep thinking about this or worse, if I start googling, I’ll scare myself into changing my mind about having surgery -again.

Let me just sleep for now. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”

If you have gone through a hysterectomy or are considering one, and would like to share your experience (even anonymously) to encourage another woman, feel free to write to me at maryanne@mummytales.com

‘Deportee’ by Wanjiku Gitagia: book review & interview

Maryanne W. Waweru

Apr 7, 2026

Deportee-wanjiku-gitagia — 'Deportee' book cover. On the right is the author, Wanjiku Gitagia.

By Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com

Have you ever wondered what becomes of people after they are deported back home? In Deportee by Wanjiku Gitagia, this rarely discussed reality comes to life through an interesting, gripping tale. This Kenyan novel explores deportation, identity, and the challenge of reintegration into society.

I read the book upon its release, and I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the many twists and turns in the story. In this post, I share more about Deportee in an exclusive interview with Kenyan author Wanjiku Gitagia.

Book details:

Title: Deportee
Author: Wanjiku Gitagia
Page count: 225
Price: KES 1,200
Publisher: Self-published

Where to buy:

Nuria bookstore
Kibanga books
Hekaya bookshop
Directly from the author (on Instagram and other social media pages)

Below is my conversation with Wanjiku Gitagia, who is a mother of two daughters aged 23 and 13. She is also a HR practitioner.

Maryanne: Hi Wanjiku. Describe your book in 30 words or less for people who are just learning about it.

Wanjiku: Deportee is a work of creative fiction. It tells the story of Kim who gets deported from the US and comes back to Kenya to face a whole new life full of hostility, struggle and hardship in reintegration back into Kenyan society.

Maryanne: How did you come up with the title for your book?

Wanjiku: It came to me on a whim at the last minute of my writing. Initially I planned for the story to be centered around a group of friends who were deportees from different countries and would hang out at a bar called ‘deport’, which would be the book title. When the story of Kim took over much of the plot, I changed gears and centered the book around him and settled on Deportee as the title.

Maryanne: The book’s cover is outstanding. Tell us more about it.

Wanjiku: The cover tells the story of Kim. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but the picture is at the heart of the story. The plane signifies departure or arrival; it could be the one bringing Kim back home or leaving after dropping him off. The backdrop of Nairobi city signifies where he is brought back to.

Maryanne: What inspired you to write Kim’s story?

Wanjiku: I cannot pin it to a specific incident where I drew my inspiration. I am a fiction lover, and I wanted to write a novel based on fiction. I have seen a few people get deported and when they get here, there doesn’t seem to be space or acceptance for them which seems really unfair. My mind drew me that way and I obliged it.

Maryanne: The themes of deportation and reintegration are quite powerful. What drew you to explore these themes?

Wanjiku: My story focuses more on reintegration and I have seen how hard it is for people who have not just been deported -but people who choose to come back home after being in other countries for too long. Kenyan society does not seem to accept them as fully Kenyan. Many have been driven to poverty, depression and other mental illnesses because of being deemed ‘failures’. It seems like a situation that most people do not speak of or identify with.

Maryanne: How much of the story is influenced by real-life events or people you’ve encountered?

Wanjiku: I can’t quantify to the letter, but I could say about 50% of it draws its inspiration from real life and from lived experiences.

Maryanne: What Kenyan realities or dynamics did you want to portray through this story?

Wanjiku: The attitude that is carried by most Kenyans towards people who choose to return home after years in developed countries. They are shamed for what most consider failure. But Kenyans need to know that living in developed countries is harder than it seems. It is not a direct ticket to success and riches.

Maryanne: ‘Deportee’ touches on identity, family secrets, friendships and belonging. What messages do you hope readers will take away?

Wanjiku: I would like them to take away the message of acceptance for people that choose to come back home after building their lives away. Sometimes they come back successful and sometimes not successful. Either way, they deserve to be accepted and granted a chance to become part of building our nation, just like we who have always been here.

Maryanne: Do you think Kenyan readers will see some of their own experiences in this book?

Wanjiku: Probably. They may relate it to other people they have known. If not, they will be immersed in the book and feel the reality of it.

Maryanne: What conversations do you hope this book will spark?

Wanjiku: I would hope it sparks conversation around immigration and deportation, relocation to other countries, deception in families and generally conversations around writing for Kenyans by Kenyans.

Maryanne: Who is the ideal reader for this book?

Wanjiku: The book is targeted towards general readers. Any bibliophile would enjoy it and even people that are exploring reading as a hobby. It is a super easy and captivating read.

Maryanne: How long did it take you to complete the manuscript, from idea to publication?

Wanjiku: It took roughly around two years. 1.5 years on the writing and then about six months on the editing and eventually printing the book.

Maryanne: What has your publishing journey been like as a new author?

Wanjiku: I would say it has been exciting and interesting. It is interesting rebranding as an author and getting into the intricacies of marketing the book, interacting with fellow authors, readers, book pundits and even just building my presence online in platforms I have not been on before.

Maryanne: Has writing and publishing a book changed the way you see yourself?

Wanjiku: In a big way. It has shown me that I am capable of doing things that I didn’t think I could. It has shown me that I need to challenge myself more and even be more outgoing than I have been.

Maryanne: What advice would you give aspiring Kenyan writers hoping to publish their first book?

Wanjiku: I would say, go for it! It is not easy, actually it is really hard but it is worth it.

What are you working on next?

Wanjiku: Currently, I have my sights set on marketing and selling my book. I want more readers to get to know me as I also start on my second book.

Maryanne: Would you revisit any of these characters in future stories?

Wanjiku: I am still weighing options on whether it is a good idea or not so much. Only time will tell.

Thanks Wanjiku and wishing you all the best.

*****

So, have you read Deportee by Wanjiku Gitagia? What are your thoughts about it? Also, do you know someone who has lived through the deportation or reintegration experience? What was it like? Feel free to share your thoughts below.

Also read: ‘Shadows in my Sunshine’ by Beth Ruga: book review & interview

Also read: ‘The Strength we Share’ by Diana A. Otieno book review & interview

Also read: ‘Risking it All’ by Anna-Maria Mwachinga book review

How much does it cost to give birth in Kenya? Kenyan mothers share

Maryanne W. Waweru

Apr 1, 2026

“Cost of giving birth in Kenya mothers share experiences”

By Maryanne W. Waweru I maryanne@mummytales.com

About a month ago, I watched Kenyan mothers share the cost of giving birth in Kenya. This was on TikTok, where I remained glued for a couple of days as I listed to them disclose the amounts they paid to deliver their babies in different hospitals across the country.

The figures varied widely, from fees in public hospitals being as low as KSh 100, to bills as high as KSh 420,000 in private hospitals.

The differences in cost depended on several factors, including:

Whether the delivery was vaginal or via caesarean section
Whether the mother chose her own private doctors (gynaecologist and paediatrician)
The type of room selected, such as a private room
Any complications affecting the mother or baby
Length of stay in hospital
Use of private insurance
Whether SHA or other schemes covered part of the costs
How long ago the birth took place

Among the mothers who shared their costs were Wendy Gachara at MP Shah hospital, Nkatha Kobia at AAR, Dr. Selifa Kaira at Outspan Hospital in Nyeri, Cyancity_brands at Pumwani Hospital and her second at a private hospital, Teb at Nairobi Hospital, Davina at Nairobi West Hospital, ima at Avenue Hospital, and The Influenced Babe who shared the costs of her three births in different hospitals. Many other mothers shared their childbirth charges -both in private and public hospitals in the comments sections of these posts.

I found some of the charges shared by these mothers quite interesting, especially the itemised bills from private hospitals. One mother for example said she was billed KSh 350 per minute for theatre charges during her caesarean section. She spent 43 minutes in theatre.

Is safe motherhood becoming a luxury in Kenya?

The revelations by these Kenyan mothers sparked online datable, which spilled to other platforms including X and Facebook. People asked different questions:

“Has safe motherhood become a luxury in Kenya? Does having a ‘quality’ birth experience in Kenya mean digging deep into your pockets? Are Kenyan families paying for better maternal care, or are they simply paying for inflated pricing? Do higher costs translate to better maternal outcomes? Are hospitals transparent about billing? Also, why are many of these mothers on TikTok (who represent a significant portion of Kenyan mothers), delivering in private facilities instead of public ones? Have Kenyan mothers lost confidence in public hospitals and if yes, why so?”

“I was billed KSh 350 per minute for theatre charges.”

From the responses to these videos, many women thanked the mothers for openly sharing the delivery charges, especially pregnant mothers who were still hospital shopping. Women said the figures were quite eye-opening (and even frightening). Others who had thought they were ready to get pregnant indicated they were now rethinking their decisions, as they didn’t feel financially prepared anymore. Interesting, isn’t it?

Also read: What makes you scared to give birth again: Kenyan mothers share their reasons

My overall take is that these revelations highlight the need for decision-makers to work toward a system where every mother in Kenya can access respectful, quality maternity care without the crippling fear of hefty bills or a birth experience they do not consider ‘quality’. More importantly, Kenyan mothers need to regain confidence in the public health system because, from the comments and experiences shared, this confidence is clearly lacking.

Also read: 13 Kenyan mothers share their experiences with vaginal examinations (VE) during labour

What are your thoughts about this issue? If you are a Kenyan mother, how much did you pay for delivery? Was your delivery covered by insurance (NHIF/SHA/private), or did you pay out of pocket? Feel free to share in the comments section. If you’d like to elaborate more, you can reach me on maryanne@mummytales.com

Featured image: Iwaria

Love and HIV Disclosure: A Conversation with Author Beth Ruga on ‘Shadows in my Sunshine’

Maryanne W. Waweru

Mar 9, 2026

Author-Beth-Ruga-Shadows-in-my Sunshine — The cover of the book 'Shadows in my Sunshine' (L), and the author. Beth Ruga (R).

By Maryanne W. Waweru I maryanne@mummytales.com

In Kenya today, conversations around HIV are more open than they were decades ago. Over the years, we’ve seen lots of advocacy, public awareness and increased access to treatment across the country -efforts that have helped to demystify many issues around HIV/AIDS. In fact, it’s no longer unusual to find people publicly sharing their HIV status on TV, radio, newspaper articles, and on different social media platforms. However, there still exist some elements of stigma associated with the disease, which makes disclosure difficult for some people, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

In her new novella, Shadows in my Sunshine, Nairobi-based author Beth Ruga explores these realities through the story of Wangeshi, a young woman born with HIV who must navigate romance, family, loss, her university studies, friendships and her own fears about disclosure.

Beth, 45, is a mother of three children aged 21, 13, and 10. She launched her 158-page book on Saturday 7 March 2026 at the Kenya National Library Service (Maktaba Kuu) in Upper Hill, Nairobi.

Book details:

Title: Shadows in my Sunshine
Author: Beth Ruga
Page count: 158 pages
Price: KES 1,150
Where to buy: Nuria bookstore, Books and Bloom bookstore or directly from the author, Beth Ruga on Facebook.

Below is my conversation with Beth about her new book.

Beth-Ruga-author — My copy of Beth Ruga’s Shadows in my Sunshine.

Maryanne: Describe your book briefly.

Beth: Shadows in my Sunshine is about coping with HIV acquired at birth or during pregnancy, told through the love story of a young woman called Wangeshi.

Maryanne: The book’s cover is remarkable. Tell us more about it.

Beth: Yes, it is, thank you! It is the combined effort of my very good designer, Kitui Djothefu and an author’s eye for the good stuff.

Maryanne: What inspired you to write Shadows in my Sunshine, and why did you choose to center the story on a young woman born with HIV?

Beth: As you may already know, new HIV infections are on the rise in Kenya. It felt to me that people needed reminding, and I answered the call. Why a woman? I like to build my stories around women and children as they often get the short end of the stick in matters equality.

Maryanne: What does the title of the book symbolize in Wangeshi’s journey?

Beth: The Sunshine symbolises her life while the Shadows are the hurdles she has had, generally amplified by her health status.

Maryanne: The book explores the difficult decision of disclosing one’s HIV status in romantic relationships. Why was it important for you to address this theme?

Beth: Through research, I encountered many such cases and one way of demystifying the status quo would be to talk about it, so I did.

Maryanne: What do you hope young readers -especially those facing health challenges take away from Wangeshi’s journey?

Beth: I hope that young people embrace their situations, take charge of their lives by bettering themselves while staying true to treatment and living responsibly.

Maryanne: What conversations do you hope the book will spark among families, friends, people involved romantically, and the community in general?

Beth: Actually, I hope it generates as many different views as are possible. Most times, the story/book is wiser than the creator/author and takes on it’s own life. Generally, though, I hope it educates people on the need to be sensitive to people and issues that are not considered the norm, including persons living with HIV, and to exercise caution and social responsibility in their sex lives.

Maryanne: The novel highlights some aspects of Gikuyu words, practices and customs. Why was it important to weave these cultural elements into the story?

Beth: Gikuyu is my indigenous language and I like to sprinkle it, for lack of a better word, in my writing to pay homage. I don’t even provide a glossary for the same, but I ensure the words used do not lose the reader, especially the non Gikuyu speakers. It is basically a style of choice.

Maryanne: Do you think conversations around HIV/AIDS have changed since the disease was officially declared a national disaster in 1999? If yes, how so?

Beth: Yes, greatly. People are talking about it more, publicly declaring their status and even publicly taking treatment, which is good. On the flip side, it seems like the disease has been around too long and the familiarity has bred complacency, leading to recklessness in sexual behaviour.

Maryanne: If readers are to remember one message from Shadows in My Sunshine, what would you want it to be?

Beth: That we may have won the battle with HIV/AIDS when treatment was discovered, but the war is far from over.

Maryanne: How long did it take you to write this book?

Beth: I lose track most times, but approximately a year and a half to two years.

Maryanne: Did writing this book change you in any way, or make you realize something about yourself that you didn’t know before?

Beth: I always knew I could weave a good short story but writing a novella was something that was a good surprise!

Maryanne: What has the response been like so far from readers?

Beth: It has been awesome. The reception has been amazing. I look forward to the book reading to hear and address the reactions of my readers.

Maryanne: What are you working on next?

Beth: I’m working on a Young Adult investigative story.

Maryanne: Congratulations Beth on your new book and looking forward to reading your next one.

Read: Raising a premature baby in Kenya: a conversation with author Diana A. Otieno

So there you have it. I hope you’ve gotten a glimpse of Beth’s book through her own words. Shadows in my Sunshine is an easy read, and I encourage you to get yourself a copy and indulge in the world of Wangeshi, where you’ll experience life from the point of view of a young woman navigating family affairs, friendships, relationships and HIV disclosure (and marriage too!).

Have you read the book already? What are your thoughts about it? If you haven’t, please do let me know your thoughts about it 😊

Is a tooth extraction during pregnancy safe?

Maryanne W. Waweru

Mar 4, 2026

By Maryanne W. Waweru I maryanne@mummytales.com

Is it safe to have a tooth extracted when pregnant? A family in Nairobi is demanding answers after 28-year-old Viona Munai, who was nine months pregnant and preparing to give birth, died following a dental procedure to treat a tooth infection. Her unborn baby also did not survive. My sincere condolences to her family and friends. Such a young life gone too soon.

Viona’s unfortunate incident however raises such an important question: should a pregnant woman have a tooth extracted? Or is it usually safer to wait until after delivery?

This is a question that confuses many pregnant women, those planning to be pregnant, or mothers in general -myself included. We are always confused with no clear answers, even from medics themselves who offer conflicting views. We are always given all manner of advice, scares and encouragements about tooth extractions when pregnant, only adding to our uncertainty about the procedure. You only need to see the comments to that video about Viona, and you will understand what I mean. Let me sample some of them below:

“I had a bad cavity when I was pregnant and doctor’s told me they can’t extract when a woman is pregnant. I relied on panadols all through. So this was Soo wrong

“Pregnant women are not extracted teeth. Doctors advice Is to wait until you deliver.”

“You don’t extract a tooth of a pregnant lady.”

In a forum for pregnant and mothers on Facebook, and which I’m a member, one pregnant woman asked it if was safe for her to have her tooth extracted, and tens of women responded. Some shared their personal experiences, others shared advice based on what they have heard. I will sample some of them below:

“I had a bad toothache and a dentist advised against extraction since I was 12 weeks pregnant. I tried my best but couldn’t bear the pain anymore, so I went to another clinic, didn’t say I was pregnant and they extracted the tooth. I thank God everything went well.”

“I suffered for three months since I was in my third trimester and the doctors advised against extraction. I survived on antibiotics and paracetamol.”

“The pain I was having was terrible so I had my tooth extracted. However, after two days I miscarried. I can’t say it was because of the extraction and neither can I say it wasn’t, but never again.”

“I had heard that we are not supposed to have teeth removed, but when I was 8 months pregnant I couldn’t cope with the ache, I was unable to eat and I was having a headache throughout because of the pain so I went and had it removed. I had no complications.”

“In my case I was advised against it cos of the blood pressure levels I had at that time.”

“Mine was extracted when I was 8 months pregnant because after a week of pain I was almost going mad… I couldn’t take it anymore, I got it removed.”

“I was 7 months pregnant when I had my tooth extracted. The following month I went into premature labour and had a still birth. I don’t know if the two are related.”

The toothache pain I went through was too much, in fact I got two of them extracted. I was like if I die, I die because either way the pain was already killing me anyway.”

Mine was extracted at 6 months pregnant and I was given antibiotics in case of any infection. You just need a proper dentist. Gone are the days people used to say a tooth cannot be extracted when pregnant. Does it mean if your tooth is problematic at month 2 you will be on painkillers for the next 7 months?

“I got mine extracted at 8 months after being on a lot of strong painkillers but the pain was still unbearable. I took the risk.”

More women shared their experiences:

“Mine was extracted at 5months…no complications.”

“I got mine removed when I was 25 weeks and didn’t experience any issues.”

“Mine was extracted at 7 months. No complications.”

“I did when I was 6months on my first pregnancy. No issues.”

Others offered their advice:

“Think twice before extraction. the injection you get before the tooth pulling can cause miscarriage.”

“Get calcium supplements to push you till delivery coz most tooth problems are escalated by pregnancy.”

“Get some cloves powder, mix with water and paste the mixture on the aching tooth. That is how I treated mine.”

“Drink a lot of milk to boost your calcium, then wait until after delivery to have it extracted.”

“Talk to your gynaecologist and your dentist. Just because someone else did it and nothing happened to them doesn’t mean it’s safe.”

“It is not advisable. If you can wait till after delivery, please do.”

“There are no contraindications unless you have underlying medical conditions.”

More confusion

All these comments only add to the confusion and a woman is left wondering what the right decision is. Can you imagine what a pregnant woman is supposed to do when she is in immense pain, and the tooth extraction seems like the only way out? If you have ever had a toothache, trust me, the pain is usually on another level. I don’t ever wish that kind of pain on anyone. So what is a pregnant woman supposed to do?

What has been your experience, or that of a woman you know? In case you have a ever had a tooth removed while pregnant,

How many months pregnant were you?
How was your experience?
Were you given any warning or advice before the extraction?
Do you think there should be more clear guidance about tooth extractions for pregnant women?

I would really like to hear your thoughts. You can share in the comments below, or you can email me on maryanne@mummytales.com

Is it Possible for a Short Woman to Give Birth Naturally?

Maryanne W. Waweru

Feb 4, 2026

By Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com

21 year-old Valerie Kasaya is 5 foot tall. While attending her antenatal clinics, the nurses had told her that there was no way she was going to give birth naturally. Reason? She was too short. They were blunt like that. Well, Valerie’s mother could hear none of that, and she decided to take her daughter to a different health center where she would be encouraged to try have a vaginal birth first, and if not, then a c-section.

When labor came, Valerie trekked to a little health facility in Kawangware called FreMo clinic and with the help of a midwife, she safely delivered a healthy 3.1kg baby. It only took four hours of labor. Valerie did not have any complications, no episiotomy, no nothing. It was a smooth delivery for this first-time mother.

Valerie Kasaya3 — A beaming Valerie with her son.

It is encouraging to know that is possible for short women to give birth vaginally. A short woman should not automatically be written off for vaginal delivery purely on the basis of her height. Valerie is one such example. She and her son, who is now eight months old continue to enjoy robust health.

However, in some cases, there are short women who are not able to have vaginal deliveries. And in the same breath, there are also big women who cannot give birth naturally. Height is not the sole determinant for this.

I spoke to Dr. Stephen Mutiso, a consultant obstetrician / gynaecologist who explained it to me very well. According to him, a diagnosis of cephalo-pelvic disproportion (CPD) is what determines if any woman –whether short or tall, will give birth naturally or via caesarean section. Cephalo refers to the size of the baby’s head, and pelvic means the size of the birth passage.

A diagnosis of CPD means that either the baby’s head is too big for the woman’s pelvis, or the pelvis is too small for a normal sized baby. In women diagnosed with CPD, natural delivery is difficult and at times impossible.

“Small women tend to have a small pelvis, and are likely to have difficulties during delivery. Any woman with a small pelvis and whose baby indicates being slightly bigger compared to her pelvis is not advised to try normal delivery,” he says.

Also Read: Is There any Harm in Pregnant Women Eating Stones and other non-food Items?

However, Dr. Mutiso clarifies that there are short women who have small babies and go on to have successful normal deliveries, and that is why it is important for the doctor, nurse or the health professional attending to the pregnant woman to do a proper assessment –during pregnancy or when labour begins.

This assessment helps determine if the pelvis is adequate enough to allow baby to pass through. If the baby’s size is small to average, then labour should be considered.

FreMo_Kawangware — The health facility in Kawangware where Valerie delivered her son.

For women who insist on pushing a baby that cannot pass through a small pelvis, Dr. Mutiso warns of the consequences.

“This could lead to prolonged labor and cause obstruction, which in turn may result in complications such as fistula, rupture of the uterus, serious infection, foetal distress and excessive bleeding after birth. In some instances both mother and baby may die.”

He goes on to say that in the event vaginal delivery goes on to take place, the mother can sustain serious perineal tears or cause damage to her reproductive organs. Further, caesarean deliveries done when one has been trying to push are more difficult and associated with increased complications.

Also Read: Warning Signs in Pregnancy: When to Call Your Doctor

So, in as much as most pregnant women plan to delivery naturally, it is important to understand that complications may arise during labour, and which may necessitate a caesarean section. These complications include; failure for labor to progress despite good contractions, foetal distress and excessive bleeding.

The good thing to know though is that there are short women who can have natural births, Valerie being a good example. But, be adequately informed about the same. Knowledge is power. Talk to your doctor, and make sure a proper assessment is done. If are certified to do so, then is all good, but do not insist on trying to do something that may cause you or your baby dire consequences.

Also Read: What Foods Should a Pregnant Woman Eat? What about Liver?

This article was first published in 2014.

Do you have a birth story to tell? If you’d like to share your story, email me on maryanne@mummytales.com

Part article credit: The Star

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