John Maina, 56, is a single father of seven: four girls and three boys. He hails from a small rural village in Nyeri County. In 2011, Maina lost his wife to childbirth complications as she delivered their seventh child. In this article, he talks about the circumstances that led to the demise of his wife.
Do you know the story of a woman who died during pregnancy, in childbirth, or within 42 days after giving birth? To better understand why many Kenyan women are still dying from pregnancy-related causes, you can help by telling their story. Please write to me at maryanne@mummytales.com
By Maryanne W. WAWERU
I remember the day vividly. 14 April 2011. I had returned home in the evening from my routine tea-picking kibarua job at a neighbouring village. Heavily pregnant and almost due, I found my wife resting in bed. When I asked her if she was okay, her response was that she was fine, just that she was feeling a little tired, which I did not find to be unusual.
After catching up with the children, I excused myself at about 7pm and stepped out. I headed to the local shopping center to catch up with my friends over a sundowner. However, the drink had barely gone down my throat before I received an alarming call from my neighbour, informing me that my wife had given birth at home, and that she was bleeding profusely. The neighbour asked me to return home urgently, and to ensure that I came with money to hire a taxi to rush my wife to hospital.
I dashed back home and found my wife in a blood bath, in our bedroom. I tried talking to her, but she just lay there on the bed, still.
What had happened?
Shortly after I had left the house, my wife had gone into unexpected labor, and the delivery had been so fast with no time to prepare. She had been in the bedroom when the labour pains began and when they got intense, she called out for the children to get help from the neighbours. The children did as instructed but by the time the neighbours arrived, she had already delivered the baby, all by herself, in our bed.
The newborn was well, but the mother was not.
The neighbours swung into action by cutting the umbilical cord and wrapping the baby in warm blankets. My wife, weak from the episode whispered to my neighbours asking for a glass of water.
I got there in the middle of that pandemonium.
The taxi arrived shortly thereafter, and we rushed her to the nearest health facility, about 3km away. The journey to the health facility was on a rough road, which made the trip quite arduous.
When we got to the health facility, and immediately upon examining her while still in the vehicle, the nurses told us to instead rush her to the Nyeri Provincial General Hospital (PGH). I wondered why they instructed us this way, without even attending to her.
Nevertheless, we did as told and began another journey to the PGH, which was about 6km away. When we arrived there, they pronounced her dead on arrival. I was shocked! How?
I mean, hadn’t I had a conversation with her just before I left the house for a sundowner? Other than the usual pregnancy fatigue, wasn’t she otherwise okay? She had been well, with no problems by the time I was leaving the house. Hadn’t she had six other pregnancies before? Hadn’t she safely delivered all six babies? How was it that she was now dead? I couldn’t believe it.
Why did she die?
People were curious about what had led to my wife’s death. I was curious too. There was lots of talk in the village about her demise. There are those who said that it was her placenta that didn’t come out. Others said that her uterus came out together with the baby. I don’t know what exactly happened, but all I know is that she bled to death. The best explanation would have come from the medics, but I never asked them. I also never requested for a post-mortem because I saw no point in it, since it was not going to bring her back. There was no foul play, and she hadn’t died in unclear circumstances. That she had lost a lot of blood during childbirth was enough for me.
My wife’s birth history
My wife had delivered all our six older children with no complications at all. She had delivered all of them at home with the help of a few other older women. She knew how she did it, and it had never been an issue of concern.
She would regularly attend her antenatal clinics at a health facility but when it came to delivery, I never knew why she chose to deliver at home. I never understood it, I never asked her, and we never talked about it. I figured she was more knowledgeable about issues of pregnancy and childbirth than I was, and I trusted her. Besides, since she had never experienced any complications before, it never alarmed me, so I never insisted.
I had never once accompanied my wife to any of her antenatal clinics during her pregnancies. I must admit that pregnancy is something that I never made the effort to really understand. I fully relied on my wife, and I just used to go with what she said. I used to depend on her to tell me how things were. In hindsight, I should have done more. I should have been more engaged.
How has life been since his wife died?
I was left with a newborn and six other children to raise. As you can imagine, life has not been easy. However, my mother has been of great help. She is the one who cared and nurtured the newborn, together with all the other children. The newborn is now a healthy 13-year-old pupil in Grade 8. My mother has been my pillar and has helped us navigate life in the absence of my wife. I have never remarried as I’m not sure what value a new wife would bring to my life or that of my children. We are okay the way we are.
Also read: How I Lost my Wife to Post-Childbirth Complications
My wife died at the age of 44 years. She was too young to die and I still feel the gap she left in my life.
Her death taught me about how delicate pregnancies are, and how delivery is literally a matter of life and death.
To be honest, I never concerned myself much with my wife’s pregnancies. If I were to turn back the hands of time, I would be more involved. I would have accompanied her to her antenatal clinics as there, I would have learned more about healthy pregnancies and safe deliveries. Maybe I would have had a discussion with my wife about why she always chose to deliver at home instead of a hospital. We would have talked about it. Maybe I would have changed her mind and convinced her to deliver in a health facility. But it’s too late now.
Also read: What makes you scared to give birth again? Kenyan mothers share their reasons
Do you know the story of a woman who died during pregnancy, in childbirth, or within 42 days after giving birth? To better understand why many Kenyan women are still dying during childbirth, you can help by telling their story. Please write to me at maryanne@mummytales.com
Are you a nurse, midwife, gynaecologist, community health promoter or other healthcare professional with important information to share with the Kenyan community on this issue? Please write to me at maryanne@mummytales.com
Mummy Tales by Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBE l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
