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Preeclampsia in Kenya: “I Trusted my Doctor Too Much – How I Lost My Baby” -Jane Minoo

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By Maryanne W. Waweru l maryanne@mummytales.com 

This is the story of one Kenyan mother who survived preeclampsia (high blood pressure in pregnancy) but unfortunately, lost her baby.

My name is Jane Minoo. I am 29 years old and a Public Relations practitioner, based in Nairobi. In 2014, I got pregnant and being a first-time mom, the first thing I thought to do was to get a good hospital or gynecologist. My husband and I settled for the one who had a private clinic in town, and who we believed was the best (or so we thought).

The first three months of my pregnancy were smooth. I regularly saw my gynaecologist who assured me all was well.

However, things started changing in the fourth month. I’d wake up in the morning with my face and feet considerably swollen. Interestingly, by 10am, the swelling would have gone away. When I mentioned this to my doctor, he checked me and assured me that I was fine.

Related: Warning Signs in Pregnancy: When to Call your Doctor

I admit though that other issues were troubling me at the same time. I was a 4th year university student, and my job involved lots of travel. Balancing the two was not easy. In addition, my relationship with my in-laws at that time was not the best, plus there was also my husband to take care of. Add on to that a pregnancy that was becoming difficult. I would tell God to remember me because I felt I was losing it. It was tough.

Meanwhile, the swelling persisted, particularly in my feet. One day, my sister, a nurse, told me to ask my doctor if all was really well. She had become very concerned. I did so, and as usual he said I was fine. My colleagues also had their misgivings, telling me it was too early in the pregnancy to be experiencing that amount of swelling but I would assure them I was fine because my doctor had said so. I added a lot of weight due to the swelling, and my blood pressure also went up.

My husband and I however ignored all the concerns from family and friends simply because our gynaecologist said I was okay. We didn’t know who to listen to so we chose to stick to what he said.

Also Read: Ladies, are You Sure of the Identity of Your Regular Gynaecologist? Learn from my Experience

One day, at 26 weeks pregnant, I woke up as usual with swelling on my feet and face. My husband noticed that the swelling had increased, but we brushed it aside knowing that it would be gone by 10am. We then both left for work. I lived far from work and had to connect three vehicles to get there. I remember being so tired with a severe headache that had been disturbing me for several days, but I nevertheless had to get to work (I was on contract basis).

When I got to the bus stop, I noticed people (especially women) were staring at me. I felt weird. I kept checking my face on my wallet mirror and realized that the swelling had not gone down yet. I became alarmed. I experienced the stares and gazes from strangers all through my commute to work.

When I got to the office, the receptionist saw me and shrieked, asking: “Jane….is this you? Are you okay?” Her (very shocked) reaction attracted everyone’s attention and they all looked at me. I started crying, as colleagues came to comfort me. They suggested that I see a doctor immediately.

I requested for some days off from my boss, which she gave without hesitation. At a nearby hospital, my blood pressure reading was high (210/110), with the doctor advising that I had to be admitted immediately. But I told her that I needed to talk to my gynaecologist first, which I did. She called my gynaecologist and all he said to her was: “give her something and let her go home. I will see her tomorrow”. He then switched off his phone.

Jane Minoo, a preeclampsia survivor.

I called my husband, and we agreed that I take the medication as per the gynaecologist’s directive and go home. As the hospital doctor gave me the prescribed medication, she kept insisting that I shouldn’t leave the hospital. She nevertheless requested that once I got near home, I pass by a chemist first to get my blood pressured checked again, and if it was still high, I return to the hospital immediately. I agreed and left the hospital.

The journey home was not easy. The headache was unbearable. I followed the doctor’s instructions and together with my husband, we got my pressure reading at a chemist near home. The pharmacist was not pleased with the results. My blood pressure was still very high. He urged me to see a doctor. We went home and I sat on the couch as my husband prepared something for us to eat.

Suddenly, I felt like I was on fire. I started vomiting nonstop. My head was burning. We got a taxi and returned to the hospital. I was admitted, but had to wait for the doctor on call who apparently was in another hospital at that time. Meanwhile, I was put on a drip which reduced the pain I was feeling in my stomach. We waited for six hours before he finally showed up. By that time, my head was exploding.

The doctor checked on me and requested for a scan the following morning, which showed that baby was okay. Following the scan, I didn’t see the doctor again until 9pm at night, where he instructed I continue with the medication. This was the second day in the hospital and my head was still throbbing. My headache would just not go away. I remember my husband would place a wet “kitambaa” on my forehead and it would dry up so fast. Family, friends, workmates kept wondering why I wasn’t being attended to well and at some point, my family suggested I be transferred to another hospital, but the doctor, who as usual came at 9pm, turned down their request.

One week went by. I was sitting for my final exams at the same time, and so I would leave the hospital, do my exams and return to the hospital. The doctor had instructed the hospital to give me the permission to do so.

One Saturday, I woke up feeling much better. I was sitting for the final paper that morning so I left as usual. I was upbeat, and we were hopeful that I’d be discharged that day. I finished my exams and got back to the hospital at around noon. The nurses came to listen to the baby’s heartbeat but they couldn’t hear it. I was sent for a scan.

Related: “I Spent Almost Half of my Pregnancy in Tears!” -Mary Naanyu

During the scan, my husband and I both remember hearing baby’s heartbeat. But as we returned to the ward, something felt amiss. We kept asking for the results, but the nurses were very evasive. I became very uneasy and started suspecting that something was wrong. My fears were confirmed when at 6pm, my husband and I were called to a room and told that our baby’s heartbeat could not be detected, and that my blood pressure had gone down. Things weren’t looking good.

Sadly, they informed us that our baby was no more. Meanwhile, the doctor came in as usual at 9pm and said that the loss was expected. That survival was either for me or the baby.

It was a hard time for us, but I was yet to hear the worst. I was told I had to deliver my dead baby. Imagine my mental agony.

I was induced that night but nothing happened. I was induced again at noon the following day, and I labored till midnight. I just remember doing one push and the baby was out. I didn’t get the chance to see my daughter because I fainted after the push. My husband saw her though. We left her in the hospital and went home the following day, empty handed. Preeclampsia had taken the life of our baby. We were devastated.

Related: George Ojwang: Remembering my Dear Wife Claris, Who Died due to Preeclampsia Complications

The healing process was not easy. I could see the many questions on our neighbor’s faces and other people who knew I was pregnant.

The first three days were particularly unbearable. I would wake up, sit on the couch and cry the whole day. No food. No talking. Nothing.

I couldn’t stand seeing my phone ring. I blamed everyone for my loss. I blamed my gynaecologist for being ignorant and not paying attention to my blood pressure. I blamed my boss for not giving me days off, I blamed husband for not understanding what I was going through, I blamed everyone and everything around me. I wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to die. My husband tried to help me, but at some point he had to call my family to come and pick me because he didn’t know what else he could do to assist.

A call I received from my mother one week later changed everything. She told me to wake up from that couch, take my Bible and read it. She said that I was too young to give up on life. I heard her, and started opening up to my husband and pouring my heart out. That began my healing process.

After three months, I conceived again and gave birth to our daughter in December 2015 -the same time I had lost our first daughter. I gave her the same name I had given our first daughter -Princess Sabrina Akinyi. Everything was smooth during her pregnancy and I didn’t experience any blood pressure issues. But I drew closer to God and prayed every day.

Princess Sabrina Akinyi.

I am now pregnant again -17 weeks. So far so good and I am praying for the best. To God be the Glory.

The reason I’m sharing my story is to encourage other women and their partners to have hope. I’d also like to advise pregnant women to stay away from stress, and even more importantly, they should not ignore any unusual swelling or headaches they have. If people around you are worried about something regarding your pregnancy, don’t ignore them. If possible, seek a second opinion from a different doctor.

My purpose is also to create awareness on preeclampsia because while it appears to be common, not many women know about it. When I lost my baby, I met other women in the hospital who had lost babies through preeclampsia but no one was talking about it.” -END

Do you have any feedback on this story? You may comment down below. 

Mummy Tales by Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBEINSTAGRAM l TWITTER

Motherhood in Kenya: “I Was Scared about Becoming a Mother at Such a Young Age” –Naomi Kago

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Naomi's son Liam

Naomi Kago, 25, is a wife and a mother of two. She is a journalist based in Nakuru County, while her husband, a banker, works in Nairobi. Mummy Tales writer SYLVIA WAKHISI had a chat with this young mom about her motherhood experiences.

“When I discovered I was pregnant with my first child at the age of 23 years, I became terrified. The news totally caught me by surprise. I was young, and wondered if I was really ready for the role of ‘mother’. I was confused, anxious, and repeatedly asked myself: “Would I really hack motherhood at that age?”

Naomi Kago
Naomi Kago

My fears were compounded by the fact that my husband was working far from me, and I worried over how I would handle the pregnancy without him around. I also worried about how I’d take care of our child by myself -bearing in mind the nature of my journalist job. I contemplated resigning from my job so that I could fully concentrate on raising my child, but on second thoughts I figured that maybe I could balance the two. I remember being so confused about everything but somehow, I hoped things would work out.

Foetal Distress

Two weeks to my due date, I started experiencing labor pains, which went on for 12 hours. At some point, the doctor told me that my baby was in distress, and that I needed to undergo a caesarean section since it had now become an emergency.

Foetal distress refers to signs before and during childbirth indicating that the fetus is not well. It typically occurs when the fetus has not been receiving enough oxygen. Fetal distress may occur when the pregnancy lasts too long or when complications of pregnancy or labor occur (source).

I didn’t know what ‘fetal distress’ meant, and I actually thought it was something that every pregnant woman goes through. I nevertheless had a successful caesarean section, with my son weighing 3.3 kgs at birth. However, the doctor told me that my newborn had to be placed in the incubator because he wanted to be sure of the baby’s health and rule out any danger.

Liam Joseph
Liam Joseph

My son Liam Joseph is now 1 year and six months and has turned out into a fine, healthy boy. I went back to work when he was only one and a half months and I thank God for the far we have both come.

I got Pregnant Soon After

A few months later Liam was born, I conceived again, and this time round, I found things to be somewhat different. I was more relaxed and knew how to handle the pregnancy, following my experience with my firstborn. But I was still a bit scared because I knew that I would give birth through a caesarean section again. The thought of undergoing surgery is never easy, but thankfully all went on well. My daughter Milan Shanice is now two months old.

Milan Shanice
Milan Shanice

Raising my two babies who are closely spaced is an amazing experience. To see them grow healthy each day is a blessing and a favor from God, which I don’t take for granted. Motherhood teaches you a lot of things and as each day passes by, I grow very fond of them. I must say that becoming a mom in your early 20s can be a bit hectic but with the right support system, things become much easier to handle. If you know of a young mother around you, give them all the support they need, and keep encouraging them.

Dedicated Husband and Father

I am thankful for the great support system that I have around me –most importantly my husband Brighton Alata. He visits us every weekend and this is when we get to spend time with each other as a family. He is a great father and adores his children.

Naomi's husband, Brighton Alata who has been a great source of support for her.
Naomi’s husband, Brighton Alata who has been a great source of support for her.

I also thank God for family and friends for the support they give us in one way or the other. I must admit that balancing work and family can at times be hectic. There are times when I’ve been forced to cancel reporting assignments that would have taken me far from home. Sometimes I’ve also had to interrupt work and go home earlier than I was supposed to. But so far so good. I’m hacking it :). Balancing work and motherhood is indeed possible.

My encouragement to all moms is, never ever regret having that baby at whatever time and under whatever circumstance. You never know what the future holds for him or her.”

You may also like:

Mariam_Mpaata_s“The Day my Son Kicked a Football into a Neighbour’s Mercedes Benz Changed Everything for Me” –Mariam Mpaata (pictured)

Fanne_Mwambi_Sml

 

“This is How I Successfuly Balance Work and Family” -Fanne Mwambi (pictured)

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“It was Necessary for me to Take a Career Break to Raise my Children” – Lucy Karanja (pictured)

Mummy Tales is a blog dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood and women. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Follow Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER 

The Story of the Late Dr. Eunice Songa, and Her Challenge to Kenya’s Middle Class

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At approximately 4:30 pm of Friday the 27th of January 2017, my wife, my best friend, the love of my life, Dr. Eunice Songa-Saraceno, died like a hero. Aged 34, she died young and beautiful, like the heroes of the ancient myths; willing to change her Country she died fighting inequality and injustice, like only true heroes do.” That is how Eunice’s husband, Dr. Luca Saraceno introduces his very emotional memorial tribute to his wife.

 I remember reading Dr. Eunice’s thought-provoking blog post regarding the problem that is Kenya’s middle class. She was basically describing me. And most likely you.

 Then she died three days later.

 Dr. Eunice Songa-Saraceno, formerly of Gertrude’s Garden Children’s Hospital and most recently Kenyatta National Hospital (KNH) used her voice and platform to fight for justice. She leaves behind her husband and daughter aged just one year and ten months.  In her blog post, she wrote:

 ….”We the lucky few in this country, who don’t earn anywhere near a dollar a day, who have running water in our 3 bedroom apartments, who can line up for terrific Tuesdays and fill our bellies with pizza, we have become consumed by distractions. We are distracted by the authenticity of Kim K’s derriere, by the attention seeking empty “debes” on Nairobi Dairies, with odds and bets of Sportpesa, with the ever juicy udaku on Kilimani Mums and with hash-tagging our picture perfect lives on Instagram.

One of my IG posts.
One of my IG posts.

So what about the guy who is a little better off; the one who earns 100 dollars a month like your house-help, the supermarket attendant or even the Kenyan police? They may not be literally starving, but they are living hand to mouth every single month. They give birth in KNH and share the blood stained single bed with two other women because maternity care was made free by the government but the hospital didn’t get more beds. They can’t afford secondary school for their teenagers. They may not be able to make rent this month because Cucu’s arthritis was flaring up again and so they had to send money back home. Then we ask how it is that the policeman asks for a bribe or the public school teacher gives illegal tuition.

Then there’s you and me; we sip our French vanilla lattes on the Art Caffé terrace and cheer our favourite Premier League time while enjoying cold beers at our local neighbourhood joint. Our children in perfectly pressed uniforms get on the school bus. And we complain about the 1 hour wait at Gertrude’s or Aga Khan because little Kevo has a stuffy nose for the 3rd time this year. We enjoy our weekends at Garden city, T-mall, Sarit Centre and Westgate filling our bellies and our Nakumatt baskets. But while we have been obsessed with these diversions, we have allowed our country to be governed, dare I say dictated by a select few. The people we have entrusted with power have decided to treat our beloved Republic as their own personal playground….”

What we enjoy at the fancy cafe's.
What we enjoy at the fancy cafe’s.

Just three days later, Dr. Eunice died suddenly. You can go over to her husband’s memorial tribute in his post here, and may you be challenged.

You, just like me, forms Kenya’s middle class. We are the ones that Dr. Eunice addressed in her post. Be the change you want in Kenya. Take action. Do you have a voter’s card? Or do you feel too defeated by the system, and you believe that ‘your vote will make no difference anyway’, because you’ll be electing a leader from the basket of ‘the best of the worst’?

By the way, let me be honest. There was a time I was so into Kenyan politics. I’m not a politician, but I loved analyzing politics. The topic excited me. I knew Kenya’s politics like the back of my hand. Then the 2007 general elections happened. And something died in me. It just died. And got buried. It’s a very personal issue for me.

I am the one Dr. Eunice describes when she asks:

“Why are we the middle and upper class so apathetic when it comes to politics and governance? The point is not to feel guilty about having a good life. I don’t feel bad about it, so why should you? You wake up at the crack of dawn, fight through Nairobi traffic, deal with bills and bosses, deadlines and proposals, loans and losses. Why shouldn’t you enjoy the trappings of success? Those fun idle distractions are necessary but they shouldn’t blind you to what goes on in the real world. Many of us say: so what am I supposed to do about it? How can I change what is happening? I don’t have any power!” Read the full post here.

My voter's card. My power?
My voter’s card. My power?

May her words challenge you as they have me.

Rest in Peace Dr. Eunice.

Mummy Tales is a blog dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood and women. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Follow Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER 

*Featured photo courtesy: Dr. Luca Sareceno LinkedIn

Waturi Wamboye: “As a New Wife, a Helping Hand from My Husband Went a Long Way”

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The Wamboye's -Ernest and Waturi.

Let me start off by saying that in this motherhood journey, there are a multiplicity of factors that define what kind of moms/women we are.

Being a wife, a single mom, a widow, experiencing gender-based-violence, being jobless, having a chronic illness, fertility struggles, raising a special needs child, being a teen mom, being a mom with disability… these are all part of what makes up our motherhood experiences and whether we like it or not, they have a significant influence on how we raise our children and how they will turn out.

Because this is all part of the motherhood journey –or part of the journey to motherhood, you’ll notice that moving forward, I’ll be sharing more of these experiences on the blog. Starting off with that of Waturi Wamboye, a wife and a mom.

Waturi Wamboye
Waturi Wamboye

When she was a new wife, Waturi knew that one of her responsibilities was to ensure that the house was well kept, that she prepared meals, and that she generally performed all the duties that were expected of her as a wife. However, there soon arose a challenge.

“At some point I couldn’t do it and felt like I had failed in my duties as a wife.”

Thankfully, her husband –Ernest, would step in and help out.

“Sometimes I would get home from a long day at work, then find Ernest cooking. Admittedly, holding strongly onto your roles (as a new spouse) can be tricky, but you realize it’s necessary for either party to step in so that the tasks in need of attention are not neglected. It helped me to relax and also learn how to accept help when needed,” she says, in the book ‘Coffee and Love Chats’ by author Lorraine Onyango.

The Wamboye's -Ernest and Waturi.
The Wamboye’s -Ernest and Waturi, with their child.

 This happens to be a situation similar to that of many women. The period when it’s just the new husband and wife in the house, when there are no children –yet– and there is no house girl either. The times when the new wife gets home in the evening –tired from work, and immediately gets down to performing house chores; cooking, cleaning the dishes, mopping the floor, doing some laundry or even ironing their clothes…among other duties.

Meanwhile, the husband lounges on the couch scrolling through his phone playing games, WhatsApping, Facebooking, maybe napping, watching TV or simply just hanging around waiting to be served and waited upon by his lovely new wife.

http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photo-man-relaxing-to-music-image4489305

At the crack of dawn, she’s at it again –preparing their baths, making breakfast, maybe packing his lunch….and also getting herself ready for work.

And getting tired of it all.

But it’s not only new wives who go through this as sometimes, moms too experience this challenge –mostly on the days when the house girl is on her day off and there’s chores to be done around the house, and the man doesn’t seem to care much about pulling his weight around and offering any assistance.

http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photo-funny-tired-house-cleaning-woman-image12441645

I have heard several tales of women in such situations, and even read their rants on Facebook.

“Hubby just sits there as I do all the work. I mean, I know that I’m the woman and it’s expected of me to undertake the household chores, but why can’t he just offer to help? Even just once? House chores can be very exhausting, and I think it’s quite insensitive of him, especially in this day and age. Is it so difficult to just want to help me out?” they ask, resentment and bitterness in their voice. And that’s not good for any relationship.

Well, in Waturi’s situation, at least her husband would help out. And she also has some advice for us all.

“Many mothers and women overwork without looking after themselves since they have so much to do. In order for them to take care of the family properly, they need to look after themselves first.”

The 'Coffee and Love Chats' book, which contains Waturi and Ernest's marriage experiences.
The ‘Coffee and Love Chats’ book, which contains the inspiring experiences of nine married couples, including those of Waturi and Ernest.

Hmm…this one is hard small. How do you get your partner to help out? Have you ever found yourself in such a situation? How did you deal with it? What advice would you give? Or does it all boil down to one’s expectations of their spouse, and if there is effective communication in that relationship? Because for sure, being in a relationship where there’s lots of anger and bitterness and resentment is not healthy at all.

This situation reminds me of a quote I once heard: ‘A Happy Mom is a Happy Home.’ So what happens when she’s not happy?

Related Article: 

Lorraine Onyango has Been Married for Just over a Year. So What Does she Know about Marriage, enough to Author a Book about it?

Mummy Tales is a blog dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood and women. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Follow Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER 

Kenya’s First Lady Margaret Kenyatta Cancels this Year’s Beyond Zero Half Marathon

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First Lady Margaret Kenyatta has cancelled this year’s Beyond Zero Half Marathon that was slated for Sunday 12 March, saying she didn’t want to ‘politicize’ the noble Beyond Zero agenda. This is her statement:

“Four years I ago, I asked Kenyans to join me on a journey: a marathon to end maternal and child mortality across the country. Over the last four years, we have worked together—we have run together bonded by our shared conviction that no mother should die while giving life and that every child should live to see their 5th birthday.

We have done more together than I imagined possible. We have run marathons and raised enough money to purchase 47 fully equipped mobile clinics delivered to every single County in Kenya. Throughout the last four years, our partners—from ordinary Kenyans, to workers in the health sector, to civil society, to policy makers, to the business community and international donors—have given Beyond Zero the inspiration and impetus it has needed to keep going.

This year, I was looking forward to running yet another marathon – a Gratitude Marathon. I was preparing to celebrate with Kenyans to say thank you for running with me and for supporting Beyond Zero. You have all made a huge difference to the lives of thousands of women, men and children, in our great nation. My ultimate purpose was to ensure that no mother or child lost their lives unnecessarily and I believe that this is something which should be owned by all of us.

However, I have never been willing to politicize this agenda. As a consequence I feel it necessary to cancel the First Lady’s Half Marathon this year. I remain committed to and will not deviate from my ultimate goal, which is the betterment of maternal healthcare in this country, and, to build the Beyond Zero Referral Hospital.

I want to reassure all Kenyans that this is a commitment that will remain with me throughout my life.” END.

Hmmm….what are your thoughts on this? Let me just be honest. Kenyans were not feeling this marathon this year. Like at all. How about you?

Photo: Office of the First Lady of Kenya

Crochet Kenya Opens New Shop

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Remember the mom I interviewed a while back – Elizabeth Muema, who said that “Crocheting for Cancer is her Ministry”? In the interview, Elizabeth, the founder of Crochet Kenya (a community-based organization) said she was inspired to donate crocheted chemo caps to cancer patients in hospital –both adults and children.

The caps, she said, makes patients feel warm and loved as they go through chemotherapy.

Elizabeth with her daughters.
Elizabeth with her daughters.

In addition, Elizabeth said that the hats also act as accessories to female patients whose hair is falling or has already fallen off, and who feel that they need some cover up. Crochet Kenya also sells some of their products, which helps them get funds to continue positively impacting the lives of cancer patients, who need all the love and care they can get. You can read the full story here.

Crochet_Kenya_5Well, it’s good to learn that Crotchet Kenya continues to grow. After being an online store since its inception, it has recently opened a physical shop in Juanco, Ngong town. The shop is at Lube Sill Centre, shop B4. You can contact Ressie Restiuta on 0725 742 666 for more information.

Also Read: “Don’t Touch Soya!” My Doctor said. Looking Back, Soya could have been the Source of my Breast Cancer” –Senator Beth Mugo

If you are looking for a baby shower gift, or if you’re planning on going to see a new mom, you can place an order from Crochet Kenya for their lovely items such as booties, sweaters, scarfs, blankies and even boshori :-).

Crochet_Kenya_2

Crochet_Kenya_4

crotchet_Kenya_4I salute Elizabeth for her work and to all the other women and men who give of themselves to noble causes. May God continue to bless their work. By the way did you know there is a crochet diaper? Neither did I.

Also Read: A Walk through my Cancer Journey: Wanjiru Githuka

Crochet_Kenya_diaper

Crochet_Kenya_3crotchet_Kenya_5bIn case you wish to contact Elizabeth, you can do so through the addresses below: Email: crochetkenyacbo@gmail.com Facebook: Crotchet Kenya 

Also Read: “I Lost my Uterus to a Rare Form of Cancer”-Jacklyne Nekesa Nyongesa

Follow Mummy Tales: FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER 

*All photos: Crochet Kenya

The Ballerinas of Kibera

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Mercyline Chemutai: My Experiences with Preeclampsia, a Blighted Ovum, Pregnancy Losses and Faith in God

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Mercyline Chemutai and her husband are both accountants, currently working and residing in the Cayman Islands. Mercyline has had the ‘hell and back’ experiences associated with negative pregnancies and today, she and her husband open up about these experiences. This is Mercyline’s narration of this experience.

 My second pregnancy was a tough one. The symptoms ranged from intense vomiting to constant sickness. Interestingly, the tougher it became, the more I valued my unborn baby. Meanwhile, I continued to religiously attend all antenatal visits. One night, at about 28 weeks, I started struggling to sleep and feeling out of breath. My husband was on an out of town work assignment. I called him and explained how I felt. He mentioned that his sister had experienced high blood pressure in pregnancy and the symptoms were more like I had described and that I shouldn’t take it lightly. At that point in my life, I had never encountered anyone with blood pressure in pregnancy and I had never taken any interest in the topic.

Related Article: Preeclampsia: All you Need to Know

After a difficult night, I woke up early and passed by a clinic to have my pressure checked. The outcome was astounding. My pressure reading was 163/118 against an expected normal reading of around 120/80. The clinician was openly alarmed. She told me to sit for few minutes then have the reading taken a second time. The repeat test was higher than the first. She instructed me to not to move, and asked me to call my family to organize for transport to pick me from the clinic to a hospital.

Since my husband was out of town, I took a taxi and headed to my gynecologist. I ended up being admitted following a diagnosis of severe preeclampsia. I had never heard of the condition before and I couldn’t fully fathom its implication. This, as the medics worked diligently at managing my pressure.

The beautiful couple.
The beautiful couple.

I was in hospital for three tough weeks; swollen beyond recognition, constant epigastric pain, frequent blurry vision among other complications. The pressure was never arrested. One minute I would be laughing with my family, the next they were being thrown out of the room following an alarming pressure reading. Assuming that a hospital environment was depressing, I was discharged in the hope that a home environment would help.

But two days later, I was readmitted after my condition deteriorated. A scan showed that I had developed severe ascites (liver disease), with my internal organs at risk of damage. The solution was early delivery of my baby. However, due to a number of factors, i.e. my weak state, uncertain condition of the baby in terms of ability to withstand stress, and having delivered via cesarean for my firstborn, my gynecologist suggested an operation.

A blood count at the time showed that I only had 36,000 platelets per microliter of blood against the minimum required of 150,000. In brief, if I were to be operated on, which I desperately needed to, I would literally bleed to death. To make matters worse, my blood group is O negative (O-ve), a very rare type. The doctors also mentioned that in addition to this blood being rare in the blood banks, for my purpose, they needed freshly donated blood because stored blood does not contain platelets. Frantic calls and appeals for eligible donors were made literally to all the corners of the country where we had a known contact. We were unsuccessful.

Related Article: Helen Njoroge: My Story of How I Survived Preeclampsia but Lost my Baby

In what appeared to be an act of last resort, potentially at the expense of the baby and to save my life (this was my own analysis), the doctor gave me an assortment of tablets and through God’s grace, that night my platelet count returned to normal. I was operated on the following morning and delivered a baby boy. Later that night, I remember asking the nurses to assist me to the nursery to see my son. He was so tiny, breathing fast and fighting for his life. I asked God to heal me quickly so that I could attend to him.

Unfortunately, his lungs were underdeveloped and the hospital had no properly equipped Newborn ICU (NICU). Sadly, our dear son Brian succumbed after being alive for just 24 hours as my husband watched.

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Lorraine Onyango has Been Married for Just over a Year. So What Does she Know about Marriage, enough to Author a Book about it?

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Author Lorraine Onyango with her husband David.

Last December, I attended the launch of an interesting book. First, let me say why my interest in the book was piqued. Titled: ‘Coffee and Love Chats’, it was being promoted as a book that ‘shares the marriage journeys of nine couples that have been married for different lengths of time (2 years, 5 years, one couple 16 years, another 20 years…), the experiences of couples telling their stories together’.

And me, I love stories. I love tales. I love learning from the experiences of other people. I absolutely indulge in real-life experiences. I yearn for the insights that people share, because I find them practical and enriching. So I was more than delighted to attend the ‘Coffee and Love Chats’ book launch and get myself a copy.

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The book is authored by Lorraine Onyango, who, curiously, has been married for ‘just a year’. In fact, she began writing it when she was only a few months into marriage. So what does Lorraine really know about marriage, enough for her to write a book about marriage? Well, this is her response to that question:

“In today’s world, there are so many stories about marriage that we come across and unfortunately, a significant number of them are all negative. The stories that are widely shared and discussed in online groups are horrid tales of couples that are often embroiled in bitter misunderstandings. Relationship discussions on radio shows are inundated with stories of aggrieved spouses –emotional wives and husbands –hurting from betrayal, with the raw pain in their voices making the listeners just as emotional. Many of the marriage stories that we read, hear about in our social circles and even participate in, are about unions that are breaking apart, those that are not working, and how the marriage institution is falling apart. Almost as though marriage is just a sham.

Ernest and Waturi Wamboye, whose marriage story is captured in Lorraine's book.
Ernest and Waturi Wamboye, whose inspiring marriage story is captured in Lorraine’s book.

The idea for the book came about as a result of me wanting to change these dialogues. My desire was to have a reference point for marriages that are working –as told by couples themselves. I wanted to document the real-life experiences of couples sharing their marital journey –including the ups and downs that they have faced. I wanted a space where we can indulge in discussions about married couples who are committed to their marriage and are working through whatever challenges that come their way, of couples that aspire to be better spouses to each other. Amidst all the marriage negativity, I wanted to talk to individuals who believe in the institution of marriage, are actually making their marriage work, and are inspiring others through their journey. Basically, I was looking for refreshing tales about marriage.

Admittedly, I am new in marriage and I know there is lots to learn about the institution. That’s why I decided to interview couples with the hope of them sharing experiences that I and many other people learn from.”

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Contents

Thus Lorraine’s journey to authoring ‘Coffee and Love Chats’ began. She reached out to several couples and shared her vision with them. Lorraine sat down with each of the couples and listened to them open up about various aspects of their marriage –dating, finances, sex, fertility, miscarriage, parenting, conflict, death of loved ones, in-laws, ethnic differences, careers etc. I have read the book, and it was indeed a refreshing read. An oasis in the desert.

The simplicity with which Lorraine has shared the couples’ stories is the best part about the book –at least for me. Even more importantly, the book is not about prescribed step-by-step formulas about “How to Make your Marriage Work”, but is simply a documentation of stories shared by couples regarding their own experiences.

Victor and Hellen Khayesi, also featured in the book.
Victor and Hellen Khayesi, also featured in the book.

I without any reservations recommend you to read ‘Coffee and Love Chats’ too. By the way the book is not just for married people, but anyone who believes in the marriage institution, and desires to share positivity about it. I will be sharing bits of helpful information from the book right here on this blog in subsequent articles, so look out for those.

The book retails at Sh1,800 and you can find it at Book Stop, Yaya Center. You can also purchase it through MPESA ‘Buy Goods’ Number 850004. Delivery can be organized. You may also send a message to 0734 961 330 or email: majestypublishing@gmail.com to get your copy. You can also contact Lorraine on Facebook or Twitter.

You may also like to read:

They Urged me to Leave my Wife because of our Special Needs Child -Patrick Karubiu

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12 Questions to Ask When Interviewing a House Girl

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Edith Murogo of the Centre for Domestic Training and Development.

If there is an issue that really troubles many moms with young children, it is that of finding a suitable house girl. It certainly is not easy, and can actually be frustrating. Today, I share some few helpful tips that can help you when interviewing a prospective house girl. I had a chat with Ms. Edith Murogo Kanyingi, who heads Centre for Domestic Training and Development in Nairobi, and she offers insights on the essentials when interviewing for a house girl. She says that you should:

1.   Ask for her age. This will  help in ensuring that you do not employ an underage girl which would otherwise land you in trouble with the law.

2.  Confirm her identity during the job interview. Ask for her identification documents such as a national Identity Card, Passport, Driving License etc. Ensure that the document she produces has her photo, and is a valid original copy (since photocopies tend to disguise alterations).

3.  Ask about about her family. What kind of home did she grow up in? Does she have any living parent? Does she have siblings? Is she married? Does she have children? Which next of kin can you contact in case of an emergency?

4.  Ask about her work experience, about her last job and why she left it. Observe her keenly as she offers her responses. Find out if she has ever handled children before, and what ages they were. It would be good if she has handled children that are around your child’s age.

5.  Ask her for references, and take time to personally contact them. Their reviews of her and her work will guide you into making a decision.

6.  Ask about her level of education. When hiring someone who will watch over children, it is good to settle for one who has some level of literacy. This is because she may be required to perform tasks that require reading or writing, such as when she needs to record baby’s fever, or when she needs to dispense medication.

Also Read: The Day I Found out my House Girl was HIV Positive

7.  Ask her about any health problems or diagnosed medical conditions that you should know about such as epilepsy, asthma, diabetes, HIV or any allergies. Doing so will help you know if having her taking care of your child will endanger her life and/or that of your baby. It will also help you know how you can assist her accordingly.

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