It started as a usual, ordinary Saturday morning. Nothing was amiss. As they often did on weekends, Rachael and her 13-year-old daughter, Cynthia, went down to the river to wash clothes. On their way home, Rachael bought some foodstuff and asked her daughter to prepare lunch while she headed to work briefly.
When mother returned home at about 3pm, Cynthia appeared fine and in good spirits. They chatted as usual and about an hour later, Rachael was needed at work again, so she left.
She had barely settled in when some neighbours came looking for her, asking her to return home with them, immediately. The urgency in their voices indicated that something was terribly wrong. And indeed, something was terribly wrong. Cynthia, a grade six pupil, was no more.
The girl who, just a few hours earlier had been okay and in good spirits, and who had spent the morning chatting and bantering with her mom as they washed clothes together, had taken her own life.
It later emerged that despite the seemingly fine outward appearance, the teen had been struggling. She’d recently been diagnosed with a kidney condition and had been taking medication. The medication though, had caused her to add significant weight and this had deeply troubled her. She worried that her classmates would body shame her because of the added weight. The fear of being judged seriously weighed her down.
So troubled was Cynthia that she had even told her mother she didn’t want to return to school, asking to be enrolled in a vocational school instead. Despite reassuring her daughter that her friends and classmates would understand the reason behind her body changes, Cynthia had remained distraught. And perhaps, feeling overwhelmed and unable to bear it anymore, she had made a decision.
The experience of Rachael and her daughter Cynthia are just one of the stories featured in a Daily Nation investigation, “Alarm in Naivasha village as 10 youngsters die by suicide in one year,” which examined a troubling rise in teen suicides in the area. The report explores the experiences of families across the village grappling with similar loss. Read the full article here.
Cynthia’s is truly a sad story. When I came across it, it took me back to this article I published two weeks ago, about a teenage girl who was deeply distressed because she felt she was losing the close friendship she had previously enjoyed with her childhood friends. She had even said she wanted to be transferred to a new school, hoping that this would somehow help her find her way back to her friends’ inner circle. Her mother, concerned about her daughter, had reached out for help with the situation.
Also read: I lost my childhood friends when I joined boarding school. Here’s what I learned.
That story, together with this one of Cynthia, reminds us that children –teenagers in this case, sometimes carry silent struggles that can be very overwhelming for them. Both stories highlight the pain, uncertainty, worry and helplessness that accompany what may seem, to an adult, just a normal teenage issue that they’ll get through. As parents, sometimes we may be aware of what’s going on with our teenagers, sometimes we may not. But ultimately, it is important for us to try pay keen attention and listen to them. Sometimes what can seem minor to us, may actually mean the whole world to them.
Everyday, we continue to learn. I personally continue to learn from the experiences of other parents, and I hope you are learning too, through these articles.
If you’ve walked through a difficult situation with your teenager, and you feel that other parents could learn from it, I would love to hear from you. You can send me an email at maryanne@mummytales.com or you can send me a direct message on Facebook. You can share your experience anonymously if you prefer that. Your story could help another parent realize that they are not alone.
Meanwhile, if you or anyone you now have been affected or is experiencing mental health challenges, you could reach out to Befrienders Kenya on 0722 178 177.
Mummy Tales by Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBE l TWITTER
