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“My Daughter Died Suddenly at Two Weeks Old. I Attempted Suicide Twice after That” Vivian Gaiko’s Story

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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1
Vivian Gaiko

By Maryanne W. Waweru

I believe that every one of us has a story to tell –a story that can impact the life of another person. This is what Mummy Tales is all about –telling tales of women, of mothers, of dads –stories that we can learn from, draw inspiration from, stories that help us see things from a different perspective, stories that heal, stories that help renew our faith.

If you have a story you’d like to share, email me on wawerumw@gmail.com

Today, I share the story of 26 year-old Vivian Gaiko. Vivian is a mother of two –a beautiful daughter –Princess Amani, and an adorable son, Ivan Lemayian. Amani is no longer with us. She left too soon. This is Vivian’s story, in her own words.

“My firstborn, Princess Amani was born on 2 April 2014. I delivered her after undergoing 12 hours of labor, only to have to go for a caesarean section after they found out that I had CPD (cephalopelvic dispropriation). CPD is when a baby’s head or body is too big to fit through the mother’s pelvis.

When I first laid my eyes on my daughter Amani, my heart melted with love. She was adorably cute and the best thing that had ever happened to me. I had even deferred a whole academic year just to be with her. I enjoyed every moment of being with her.

Vivian with her husband after her graduation last year.

Baby was Dehydrated

Two weeks after Amani was born, I returned to the hospital for my post-partum (caesarean) wound checkup, which is recommended by doctors. My daughter was checked first and after examining her, I remember the nurse telling me that my baby wasn’t okay. While she hadn’t been feeding a lot, I’d thought that maybe it’s because she’s a girl… there’s this myth that girls don’t feed a lot.

The nurses then took Amani and put her on drip -she was dehydrated. I remember the search for an IV line on her being so traumatizing. She was poked severally just to get a vein. She was so tiny -I really felt sad for her. I was also so stressed by all that was happening –it was all moving so fast such that when asked to express breast milk for her, I could barely get a milliliter.

We spent two nights in the hospital but there was no improvement. She remained on oxygen, and was feeding through tubes. On the morning of 18 April, she started bleeding from the nose.

We sought a transfer to Kenyatta National Hospital (KNH). There, they took the history and drew blood samples for lab tests. The tests request sheet was written ‘sepsis’. From my studies (I have a Bsc. Medical Laboratory Science and Technology), I knew this was a very serious condition where there’s an overload of bacteria in the blood. Newborns succumb to sepsis if it is not detected early since their immune system is not mature to fight the bacteria. Things weren’t looking good.

Vivian, with a picture of her and her daughter.

Amani Breathes her Last

At 7pm that evening, Amani was still on oxygen and a drip. All this time I was praying for God to preserve her life, even asking him to take mine instead. Thank God for my husband and my parents who were present all through.

At around 8pm, my baby girl started having an attack. Her heart stopped and despite the doctor’s efforts to resuscitate her, they weren’t able to bring her back. We never even got her lab test results. The day was Good Friday.

I started praying –praying that God would take my life and put it in her lifeless body. When we went home, I couldn’t sleep. I had such a hard time trying to understand that my daughter was no more. It just wasn’t making any sense. I prayed that she would come back to life on Sunday with Jesus (the resurrection). I steadfastly held on to that hope.

In the meantime, my family members were organizing for Amani’s burial for the following day (Saturday) at Lang’ata cemetery. I wanted them to wait until Monday, because I was hoping for my miracle on Sunday, but they said there was no need for waiting. The burial plans went on. During the burial, it was only my physical body that was there; the rest of me was absent.

The following day, Sunday, is when I was hoping my daughter would be brought back to life through a miracle…

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Teenage Pregnancy in Kenya: Why Ivanna Waweru is Empowering Young Mothers

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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4

Ivanna Waweru, 21, was a teen mom who had an unplanned pregnancy. It was not a smooth journey, and today, she endeavours to support other young women who find themselves in a similar situation. This she does through the Weza Dada Foundation. A mother of one, Ivanna is a student pursuing a degree in Counselling Psychology. This is her story.

“My motherhood journey has not been a walk in the park as I got pregnant when I was 18 years old. It was a tough situation since it was an unplanned pregnancy and right from the beginning, I had to pull myself together since I soon realized I was going to be a single mother. I had to be strong.

When I was seven months pregnant, I enrolled for a diploma course in Counseling Psychology. This happened because my mother insisted that she was only going to support my baby and I as long as I went back to school. I am absolutely grateful for having the support of my mother – I know other teen moms haven’t been as lucky.

My graduation was such an emotional time for me; my baby and my diploma are literally twins! Now I’m pursuing my degree, and I have to balance my studies and being a mom to my little boy. It certainly hasn’t been a walk in the park, but as time goes by it gets easier and I acquire better coping skills.

What Inspired you to start Weza Dada?

While my mom caters for my financial needs well enough, I started feeling the need to do something to earn some money as I grow towards becoming financially independent. I have started small businesses since my son was born –some have not succeeded while others are still ongoing.

Also, at some point I realized that my emotional challenges were still stressing me very much. Young motherhood can be tough, and many times I would feel alone, overwhelmed and just too tired! Sometimes I hated myself and I honestly wasn’t fully functioning. There were moments when I didn’t want to meet friends and just I felt so unworthy.

 As I was going through this, I thought of the young moms out there who didn’t have the kind of financial support that I had, and were also having to deal with the kind of emotional stress that I was going through. I started feeling the need to reach out to them.

Also Read: My Husband’s Sudden Death when I was 19 Years-Old was a Reality Check -Ann Mitu

It also happened that my studies in Counselling Psychology had ignited a passion in me for working with people. In fact, when I undertook my academic research at Kenyatta National Hospital where I focused on the topic of challenges faced by young mothers, I especially developed an intense soft spot for young mothers, because I could empathize.

This experience fueled my decision to start an initiative which I hoped would work towards assisting young mothers –giving them hope and helping them improve their lives.

Young moms during one of Weza Dada’s events held last July.

So I started connecting with young moms through social media; on WhatsApp and Facebook and with time, I took these interactions offline to where we’ve been able to meet up physically. That’s the story behind Weza Dada’s beginning.

Weza Dada’s Activities

So far, we have had three successful meetings: at Uhuru park and two at Le 63 Lounge at Uhuru Gardens. During these events, we’ve had different speakers share their experiences whilst encouraging us. They speakers were Thitu Kariba, a wellness and fitness coach who spoke about ‘Young moms taking control of their lives’, and Wairimu Kiragu, a life coach who spoke on ‘Courage and authentic living’.

During our third meet up, we trained young moms on making shaggy and pompom mats, because we want to encourage them to engage in their own income-generating activities in a bid to be financially independent.

Wairimu Kiragu speaks to young moms during a Weza Dada forum.

Through my interaction with young moms, I’ve come to realize that many young moms’ problems are compounded when they have to rely on other people for their subsistence. But when they are able to go to school, get employment or run their own businesses, they are able to better support themselves and their children. In the coming months, I hope to have more business empowerment opportunities for young moms while at the same time encouraging them to advance their education.

We also continue to have our discussions on our online platforms where we encourage, share and learn from one another.

What have been Your Notable Sucesses?

We have reached over 200 young mothers in Kenya through our social media platforms and events. We have also had young mothers reconcile their lives and have a better outlook about life.

Through this project, I have been able to connect with great minds –women mentors –who have been helped me gain insightful, eye-opening experiences.

We have also managed to recruit volunteers; we now have four committed volunteers and I’m sure this will improve the quality of delivery of services during projects, trainings and events.

What challenges have you experienced so far?

Finances largely. I have a plan in mind for the young mothers but due to lack of funds I have not been able to execute them. We sometimes have to charge the young mothers to attend the events we organize, and many times they don’t have the money to pay, yet they need the information we share during these forums. We don’t turn away any young mom though.

I’m however hoping by introducing trainings and actualizing some income generating activities, we will sustain our projects and activities.

Also, coordinating people with different personalities from different walks of life can be difficult and sometimes I want to give up but my passion for the betterment of young moms keeps me going.

What are your Bigger Plans for Weza Dada Foundation?

I intend for this initiative to grow into an international organization that focuses on girl and women empowerment. I hope to see more women realize better life outcomes financially, emotionally and psychologically. I hope to see these women in turn become mentors and serve as inspirations to other girls, young women, and young moms.

Soon, we’ll start outreach programmes for young girls in high schools to enlighten, educate and mentor them on topical issues facing them, and how they can overcome some of the challenges involved.

Parting Shot

Motherhood has taught me that no matter what happens in life, you can shape your destiny. You need to get up, dust yourself and trudge on with your best foot forward. God is the best support system and prayer really goes a long way in helping one overcome their challenges.

I have found out that there is truth in the statement that ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. I am one strong young woman who believes that nothing is impossible. I also know that loving yourself is key in achieving your goals. No matter the situation you find yourself in, the sky is the limit; dream, commit yourself and work hard. Find your purpose and live it.

Ivanna can be reached on ivanna@wezadada.org  

If you know of another young woman who is undertaking a women and girl empowerment initiative, then let me know via maryanne@mummytales.com and I will help tell their story.

Mummy Tales is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBE l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER

Six Kenyan Men Talk about Life after the Death of Their Wives (Part 2)

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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0

This is part two of the show that aired yesterday on Victoria’s Lounge on NTV, featuring six Kenyan widowers talking about their life experiences following the passing on of their dear wives. In case you missed part 1, you can catch up with it here.

Related: George Ojwang: Remembering my Wife Claris, Two Years On

Follow Mummy Tales on Facebook and Twitter for more stories surrounding family and parenting. 

Six Kenyan Men Talk about Life after the Death of Their Wives

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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0

How does life become, for men who lose their wives? What emotions do they go through? How do they cope? For those who have children -young children, how does life pan out?

These are the stories of six widowers who share their stories of loss and grief. This is Part 1 of it, as aired on Victoria’s Lounge with Victoria Rubadiri. Watch Part 2 here.

Related: The story of the Dru, who passed on while giving life

Related: Kambua’s #Anatimiza Song that Features Janet Kanini

The Caption to this Photo of Husbands Committing to ‘Wait’ with their Spouses has Touched Many

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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0

Hello good people, hope the week’s been good to you so far. Now, last week, I shared details about an event that was to happen on Sunday 24th – and it did. The event was for couples who are waiting wombs –that is wives and husbands who are dealing with infertility challenges, but are hopeful that they’ll become parents someday.

Related: List of Upcoming Events of Interest to Mums

I spoke to Hadassa Trip –founder of Waiting Wombs Trust and whose story I wrote here, and she told me that the event was successful. There are two photos she shared via @waitingwombsKE that particularly warmed my heart -and the hearts of many others too. See the caption of it below, as shared by Hadassa:

“Husbands committing to wait with their spouses”

Husbands committing to wait with their spouses

Many times, men are unwilling to share their experiences with regard to infertility in their relationships, and even more than that -we know of many women who have been abandoned by their husbands on account of their inability to bear children. So I found that that gesture by the husbands in that photo to be quite encouraging. Hadassa also shared another photo with the caption:

“The wives also committed to wait with their husbands. Marriages were restored. It was amazing!”

The wives also committed to wait with their husbands. Marriages were restored. It was amazing!

If you are dealing with infertility issues or know of a friend or couple who is, just know that you are not alone, there are many other couples in similar situations, and there is support for you. You can always get in touch with Hadassa through email: waitingwombs@gmail.com or through Facebook and Twitter. She will respond.

I’m actually glad to see so many women and men coming out today to speak about this very sensitive issue, which is going a long way in shattering some of the myths and misconceptions associated with infertility. The more we talk, the more we broaden our understanding of things, and the more we become less judgmental and condemning as a society. And the more we learn how to give thanks, and have faith in God.

Related: Meet Winnie Maina, a Surrogate Mom in Kenya

In previous years and decades, many women just suffered in silence, in loneliness, bearing the heavy physical, emotional and mental burden of being shamed, ridiculed and discriminated against because of their inability to have children. However, it’s a relief that that veil is gradually being lifted through the efforts of brave women like Hadassa and her supportive husband, and men such as those in the photo.

Patricia Atieno, during my interview with her.

You may also like to read this story that I published recently about Patricia:

You’d Rather Have Given Birth to a Mad Man, than Never Having Given Birth at all”

Like Mummy Tales on Facebook here, and follow us on Twitter here to keep abreast with new posts and carry on with more conversations regarding womanhood and motherhood.

Read Hadassa’s story: Why are you Wasting your Husband? Editah Trip talks about her 7-Year Journey of Trying to Conceive 

Hadassa and her husband Ken.

top featured image: models, AfricaKnows. 

Ladies, this is How Recycled Hair from the Dandora Dumpsite Could be on Your Head

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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2

Haiya! Do you know that the weave (including human hair) or braids you have on your head could actually be recycled hair sourced from the Dandora garbage dumpsite?

As in there are people who sift through garbage, collect unused hair extensions, wash them with detergent, sometimes add oil and perfume to give them a nice smell and shiny look, then sell to salonists, who then happily put it on your head? The video by DW Africa tells it all!

Waaaah! For sure biashara ni biashara but surely this one has got me all mouth wide open 😮 Did you know about this practice? Tag that friend of yours who loves hair extensions and let her be in the know!

Also See: How Babies are Sold in Kayole, Nairobi

So where do you buy your hair extensions from and how sure are you they are legit?

Mummy Tales is a blog dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of maternal and newborn health, as well as various issues surrounding motherhood and women. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Follow Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER 

Motherhood in Kenya: I Lost my Baby at 37 Weeks Pregnant. This is What Happened” –June Mbithe Muli’s Story

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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0
Mbithe giving her presentation to former US President Barrack Obama during his Kenya visit in 2015 :)

One evening, when 38-year-old June Mbithe Muli was working on her laptop at home, she suddenly felt a sweeping cold rush through her body. She froze, puzzled.

At that time, Mbithe was 37 weeks pregnant with her third child.

Earlier that day, she had engaged in regular activities at work and after getting home at 6pm, she’d taken a shower and spent the evening with her two older children -8 year-old Victor and 3 year-old Makena.

As was routine, she had helped them with their homework, ensured they had bathed, had their dinner, and had read them bedtime stories before tucking them into bed. After that, she’d sat down to finish some work on her laptop before calling it a day. That was when she felt the sudden cold rush sweep through her body…

At State House Girls

…Today, I’ll share Mbithe’s story with you but before then, let me tell you how I know her. Mbithe and I met in Form One donkey years ago. We were classmates the entire four years of high school -Stato. She was good in Math, geography, sciences and basically all other subjects; me I was good in writing compositions and telling tales 🙂

Mbithe and I have always had a special bond –it could be because we were actually born in the same year, in same month, on the same day. We’ve always called each other ‘twin sisters’. It’s been over 20 years since high school, and twin sis and I have always been in touch.

Beautiful Mbithe

Mbithe currently works in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, overseeing operations as Deputy GM. I was so proud of her when I saw photos of her giving a presentation to former US President Barrack Obama two years ago when he’d come over.

Six months ago, Mbithe went through quite a heart-breaking experience. She lost her baby. We met for coffee the other day at Java Adams and today I share her story with you, as she narrated it to me, amid tears from both me and her.

Diabetes in Pregnancy

“I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2008 and since then, I’ve been managing it well. I must inject myself twice a day with insulin for purposes of regulating my blood sugars.

As a diabetic woman, my pregnancies are delicate and I have to be well-managed by my doctor. When pregnant, I’ve always had to increase my regular insulin intake. I am also always keen on ensuring I have a vaginal birth, since diabetics and wounds don’t go well. With that in mind, I’ve always watched what I eat, and engaged in safe pregnancy activity –including lots of walking to increase my chances of a vaginal birth as opposed to undergoing a caesarean section.

Read more: Diabetes and Pregnancy

My first-born Victor was born healthy at 38 weeks, weighing 3.9kgs in 2009. My daughter Makena also came in healthy at 38 weeks, weighing 3.3kgs. That was in 2013.

My third pregnancy was similarly without incident, as I was on my regular medication and remained as active as possible. At 37 weeks, I began the process of handing over my work duties because of my impending maternity leave. Since both Victor and Makena had arrived at 38 weeks, I figured I would deliver my third baby at the same time, and so I needed to clear my desk and hand over before then.

A happy Mbithe takes a selfie during her third pregnancy with Ethan.

The Mysterious Cold Rush Feeling

And that’s exactly what I was doing that Monday evening –at 37 weeks pregnant, when I felt the sudden cold rush sweep through my body after putting my kids to bed. It was strange, because while the weather in Dar es Salaam was hot, I started shivering, enough to make me put on a cardigan –something I’d never done for the over two years I’d been in Dar.

My husband was similarly concerned, but after about 10 minutes, the cold I was feeling went away as suddenly as it had come. I decided to sleep immediately after that. I had attended my regular antenatal clinic just three days before, where I’d been given a clean bill of health so I figured maybe I was just anxious about the birth and becoming a new mom again.

Related Article: Maternity Leave in Kenya: 90 Working Days or 90 Calendar Days?

The following day was equally busy at work, what with my handover issues. I was back home as usual by 6pm. But as I was bonding with my children, I started touching my belly and asking myself –how many times had baby kicked that day?

I couldn’t exactly remember because it had been a really busy day at the office, walking around, attending different meetings and making necessary arrangements for my maternity leave absence. I decided I would call my doctor the following day, just in case.

No Foetal Hearbeat

When I called my doctor the following day, she asked when I had last felt the baby kick. But the more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me that I was actually drawing a blank.

I held my tummy as I tried to remember, but I was just couldn’t. It had been a crazy time at the office and I’d been engaged in so many activities, and the more I thought about it, the more I started panicking. I just couldn’t remember when I’d last heard baby kick. The doctor asked me to go see her at the hospital immediately.

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House Helps in Kenya: “Why I Took in My House Girl’s Son to Stay with Us” -Marion’s Story

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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4
Marion and her family.

Moms, would you take in your house girl’s child to live with you, take him to school, pay his school fees, support your house girl to return to school, pay her school fees as well, and basically take them both as your own children? Well, that’s exactly what 32 year-old Marion Wanjiru Mwangi did.

Marion introduces herself as a mom of three children: her daughter Lya, her house girl Esther and her house girl’s son Lewis. Mummy Tales writer SYLVIA WAKHISI spoke to Marion, a self-employed interior designer more about her life as a mom.

Marion Mwangi, slaying 🙂

Esther Comes Home

“Let me start my story from when my daughter Lya was six months old. That’s when I got a new house girl, Esther who was aged 21 years. I was 28 years-old at that time.

Before then, I had been through such agony with other house girls I had employed and just longed to find a good one. I was so exhausted from all the drama –I’d employed and fired five house girls in five months.

It didn’t help that I was also undergoing post-partum depression, running a salon business where things were tough, and basically just dealing with so many other things in my life – I just needed everything around me to calm down. That’s the time that Esther came. I always say that I would have gone crazy if she didn’t come at that time.

Esther was referred to me by my sister-in-law who had once employed her. When my sis-in-law heard that I was looking for a house help, she gave me Esther’s number and after I called her up, tukaelewana and she came to work in my house.

Marion, Lya and Esther

Embracing Esther as my Own Daughter

Right from the beginning, I noticed that Esther was a gem. She was motivated, proactive, and performed her duties diligently. I didn’t even have to instruct her on what to do because she instinctively knew what to do. With my daughter so young, I was impressed by the way she observed high standards of hygiene.

As days passed by and we became well acquainted with each other, I embraced her as my own child. Whenever I bought something for my daughter Lya, I bought something for Esther too. Interestingly, whenever she saw something nice, she would also buy it for my daughter and get me something as well.

Also Read: I’ve Been with my House Girl for Thirteen Years

Sponsoring Esther’s Return to School

When my daughter joined school, I talked to Esther and asked her to also consider going back to school since she had quit while in class six after she got pregnant.

Esther had always dreamt of completing her schooling. Many times I had heard her speak fondly about education. When you hear someone around you repeat something over and over again, and if it is in your power to do something about it, then I believe you should go right ahead and make their dreams come true. That’s what I did.

Esther.

When I asked Esther if she’d consider going back to school, she was so excited at my proposal and told me she was more than ready to return. She enrolled in an adult education school just near where we stay, and she is now in class eight and has been performing very well. She’s a candidate!

Why did I give her the option of returning to school?

Early this year, Esther was called back home to attend to her son Lewis who was very sick. As I released her to go home, I asked her if she wanted to return to Nairobi with her son, so that she could be closer to him. She said yes.

As a mother, I like being near my daughter and I imagined it was the same for Esther. I thought it would be good for Esther to raise her son close by even as she worked. When her son recovered, she returned with him, and that’s how he too became my ‘son’. That’s why I say I’m a mother of three.

I immediately found a school for her nine year-old son Lewis, and enrolled him in class 3. My daughter Lya is in nursery. The two get along very well, play together, learn together, and call each other brother and sister.

Lewis and Lya

How Esther Balances her Work and School

Esther wakes up at 6.00am and by 6.30am, she has prepared Lewis who is picked by the school bus a few minutes after that.

She then prepares herself and undertakes other house chores so that by 7.30am, she wakes up my daughter Lya and prepares her for school. Lya is picked by the school bus at 8.10am.

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“You’d Rather have Given Birth to a Mad Man, than Never Having Given Birth at All” -Patricia Tells her Story

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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2
Patricia Atieno

Today, I resume the topic of infertility. I’ve previously written about the issue here: “Why are you Wasting Your Husband?” Hadassah Trip talks about her 7 Year Journey of Trying to Conceive.

I also wrote another related article here: What Does Mother’s Day Feel Like for a Woman Facing Infertility Challenges?

Today I share the story of Patricia Atieno, who has endured more than five decades of life as a woman unable to bear children. Yes, I’m talking of over fifty years of infertility. I recently met 68 year-old Patricia in Kibera in Nairobi where she stays, and we had a lengthy chat about her experiences as a woman -in a society that defines a woman’s worth as her ability to give birth. This is Patricia’s story, as she narrated it to me.

“Growing up as a young girl in a rural village in Kitale, Trans Nzoia County, I was one of the few lucky girls who were enrolled in school. But that was until I got to class six when my schooling came to an abrupt end.

I was Just a Girl

You see, there was this uncle who would come visit us at home and whenever he did so, he would come with one particular friend. One day, out of nowhere, my father informed me that I would be getting married to my uncle’s friend.

Patricia, during my interview with her.

I cried, knowing very well that it would mark the end of my schooling. I knew this for a fact because I had many friends in the village who were already married, an engagement that had marked the end of their schooling. I was just a girl, one of the few girls who had managed to reach class six, and I desperately wanted to continue with my education.

I told my parents as much, and while my mum was understanding, my father would hear none of it. He had already made the decision. In fact, he argued that my school fees would now be put to better use –that of educating my brothers to higher levels. And that is how, at the age of 14 years, I stopped going to school and began life as a married woman.

I left home to start a new life in the capital city of Nairobi, where my husband worked as a civil servant. My husband was a much older man, previously married and with three children. He was apparently separated from his wife.

Daily Bleeding  

My tribulations in marriage started almost immediately. In my second month of living with him, and every other month after that, my husband would ask me if I was pregnant. And every month, the answer would be the same: I wasn’t.

But I was having a problem.

Every month, my period would last for weeks, and it would be a very heavy flow. In addition, the pain that would accompany my menses would be unbearable. Despite seeking various medical interventions in different hospitals, including miti shamba (traditional herbs), the problem never went away.

I remember that by the time I was 20 years old, I would bleed every single day of the month. Serious, heavy bleeding that would make me so weak.

I knew how desperately my husband wanted me to have his child. Every day, I prayed, cried, asking God for a miracle. But I never conceived, not even once.

Abuse and Hospitalization  

While going through these health problems, I noticed a change in my husband’s attitude towards me. Whenever I did anything small that he didn’t like, he would give me a beating. I would experience beatings on an almost daily basis.

In addition, he would openly have extra-marital affairs with different women. Whenever I asked him about this, he would yell at me, warning me against questioning his ways as a man.

Sometimes, he would answer me by saying he preferred spending time with real women, women who had the ability to give him children. His hurtful words and actions would pierce me so deep. In fact, many times, he would accompany his words with slaps, blows and kicks on me.

One time my husband beat me up so bad that I had to be admitted in hospital. When my parents came to see me, I begged them to allow me return home with them. But my father refused, saying that I was a married woman and I had to learn how to endure the challenges in marriage, just like other women did. I remember seeing my mum pleading with him, saying my husband would kill me, but my father ignored her.

Removal of my Uterus

Meanwhile, my daily bleeding and related pain became so bad that doctors told me that my uterus had to be removed. They said it had become a matter of life or death for me. So that’s how, at the age of 20 years, my uterus was removed -what they called a hysterectomy.

The doctors were kind and counselled me well before the surgery, with the implications of having no uterus clearly explained to me. I would never be able to have my own children –borne of my womb. I wept. I cried for my future, wondering what kind of life I would be condemned to without a womb.

Life in my marriage after that became unbearable. The little care that my husband used to show me now ceased. He told me my infertility was not his problem, and went further to even call me his ‘fellow man’ because I didn’t have a uterus anymore.

He would laugh as he asked me: “What qualifies you to call yourself a woman yet you can’t give birth? Of what use are you as a woman? What purpose do you serve in my life exactly?”

A few months later, he chased me away, saying we couldn’t live as two men in the house.

Starting Life on my Own

After that, I tried returning back home to my parents, but it was tough because I was told I was a married woman and so I needed to go back to my husband and his people. I couldn’t be given a piece of land to till and eke a living because my land was in my husband’s home.

I was unwanted both by my people and my husband. Basically I was now on my own. I returned to Nairobi to try and look for work. Since I didn’t have a good education, the best job I could get was that of a house girl, which is what I’ve done for decades. However, my age won’t allow me to do heavy chores anymore, so I now only undertake casual light jobs in my Kibera neighborhood.

My life as a woman unable to bear children has not been easy. Neighbors, friends and relatives have always referred me to as ‘the barren woman’. Whenever someone is describing me, the first description they give of me is ‘yule mama tasa’. It’s a label I’ve carried with me for decades; it became a part of my identity.

I’m an Evil Witch  

I remember there was one time years ago my neighbors’ children came to my house as they often did, and as I was narrating folklores to them, a few of their mothers suddenly called out for them, ordering them to quickly return to the house.

It was abrupt, but I didn’t give it much thought until weeks later when I asked one child why they no longer came to my house to listen to my stories.

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7 Reasons Why We’re Loving Showmax

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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0

My family has been enjoying great shows on Showmax ever since we got our subscription about a month ago. Over the last few weeks, we’ve developed a pretty good love affair with it.

Some of the shows we’ve been enjoying are The Good Wife, Jane the Virgin, Suits, Viking, Game of Thrones, The Newsroom, Silicon Valley and The Sopranos. The kids have been loving these shows.

This show has such great reviews from most of the women I’ve talked to 🙂

Showmax, by the way, is an internet TV service that allows you to watch over 20,000 of the best series, movies and kids’ shows from any smart device as long as you have a good internet connection. Today, I’ll share reasons we’ve been loving on it.

  1. No Commercials

With Showmax, we get to watch shows back to back with no adverts. This is such a big deal! The fact that we get to watch an entire episode from start to finish with no commercials makes our viewing experience awesome. We don’t need to “Skip Ad” or fast forward. Just smooth viewing.

2. Plenty of Shows, full Boxsets

Showmax has plenty of shows that have full seasons. For example, I’m currently watching The Good Wife and I’m happy that Showmax has all 7 seasons of it.

They also have all 6 seasons of the Sopranos, full seasons of Frasier, Rectify and Grey’s Anatomy among others. This means you can watch an entire series from start to finish.

Showmax has lots of great local content too!

 

3. Download and Watch Later 

If you’re in a place where you have Wi-Fi during the day, then you can download shows on your smartphone, tablet or laptop and save them to watch later (in the evenings, on weekends or while travelling long distance).

The fact that we can actually download up to 25 shows to watch later is a plus. I plan on doing this for our next trip to the village where there’s no good internet.

4. Watch on More than one Device at the Same Time

With a single Showmax subscription, we get to watch two different shows on two different devices at the same time. This means that two members of the family can watch their different shows at the same time, in the same room, or in different locations, hence no need for squabbles.

So for example, when the kids are watching their favourite shows, and when I’m not watching along, I’m able to watch my favourite series.

This must be the most popular series right now. If you haven’t watched it yet, here’s your chance to watch seasons of #GOT for the next 14 days for free on Showmax 🙂

5. Bonding Time with the Kids 

Let me say that the kids’ content on Showmax is amazing. I love watching shows along with my kids, especially the fun, educational ones plus those that are adventure-filled. I’m talking about shows that teach kindness, honesty, generosity, obedience, friendship and creativity. They provide good learning lessons for them, and I’m there to guide them along.

Some of these shows include Curious George, Leap Frog Specials, Wonder Pets, Super Why, Dinosaur Train, The Mighty Jungle, Dora and Diego. You can read more in my earlier post here.

6. Easily Set up a Profile for the Kids

There is definitely the need to restrict what kids watch, hence the need to regulate what is accessible to them. The good thing is that Showmax allows for this by letting you set up up a profile for each of your children, depending on their age.

After you set their profile, it means they will only be able to watch shows and movies that are relevant and suitable for them and you can feel totally comfortable with what they are watching. My kids are aged 4 and 6, so I’ve set up their profile in the “younger kids” category (for under 7s).

By setting up your kid’s profile, they can only watch what is suitable for them.

7. We can pay with M-Pesa

Being able to pay with Mpesa just makes Showmax so convenient! We have Mpesa on our phones, and that just makes it so much easier 🙂

Yeah, so these are just some of the reasons why Showmax is a favourite in our home. And here’s the exciting part. You too can try out Showmax for free for 14 days and get to enjoy all the benefits I’ve talked about.

All you need is a mobile number to sign up. You’ll then receive an SMS with a voucher code for 14 days of access to Showmax for free. Here is the link to Showmax where you can sign up to access your free 14-day trial now.

Check out some other shows that could be of interest to you or some of your family members:

The Good Wife -what I’m watching now. I love this show!
Among the Barbie Collection: Barbie in the Pink Shoes, Barbie Mariposa and her Butterfly Fairy Friends, Barbie; a Fashion Fairy Tale, Barbie and the Diamond Castle and Barbie and the Three Musketeers.

Don’t forget to get your free 14-day trial voucher here. If you’ve already signed up to Showmax, how has your experience been, and what shows are you and your family loving?

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