Nabubwaya Chambers is a Kenyan-born mum living in Texas, USA with her husband and their 20-month old son Lema. Nabubwaya loves sharing her motherhood experiences with us here and this week, she tells us about their recent trip to New Mexico.
My family loves to go on road trips whenever a golden opportunity arises. We took some time off towards the end of this summer to visit Albuquerque which is in New Mexico. We have fallen in love with New Mexico and simply enjoy visiting every part of it. The vibrant culture, entertaining music, exotic people, sumptuous meals, and hospitality continually amaze us.
We were very fortunate and blessed to share this trip with a family member who was visiting from Kenya. That was my big brother Josh!! Our house was filled with laughter and stories as we hosted him (though he is camera shy). I tell you, nothing beats special family times. I really miss my family back home –the noise, the laughter, the FOOD, the hugs and kisses…all those special moments that I so dearly cherish. I hope I will be able to come visiting the motherland someday soon.
Nabubwaya and Lema during their New Mexico trip.
While in Albuquerque, we ate at Mexican restaurants, visited the Sandia Peak Tramway, and enjoyed our hotel stay. It was so exciting to ride on a tramway. Evidently, it was our first time to soak in all the mountainous glory that surrounded us. We took so many photos and kept pointing at all the fascinating flora we spotted. We had a bit of time to enjoy a very short hike. Lema fell asleep on our way back to the tramway. It was simply beautiful to be in the mountains and to enjoy the sights and sounds of New Mexico. We hope to visit other fascinating cities in New Mexico when we get another chance.
It indeed has been a beautiful summer and now we are ready to usher in the Autumn season and some cool weather.
Here are some photos from our New Mexico trip.
Lema with daddy.
So beautiful!
Otherwise how are you doing? Hope you and your family are well too!
Mercy Johnson is a popular Naija actress who I’m sure you’ve seen in a number of Nollywood movies. Since news of her third pregnancy recently broke out, she has been the center of lots of talk -both positive and negative.
Mercy has two children: a daughter who is 2 years 9 months old, and a son who is 11-months old. Now her third child is due at the end of this year. Apparently quite a number of people have been wondering if the 31 year-old has ever heard of family planning, claiming that she’s too busy in the bedroom and is having her babies too fast, too many. The backlash has been immense.
But Mercy has broken the silence and has responded. She says:
“I am expecting my third child and I’m a married person so I don’t think people should ask me why. I understand the ethics of spacing kids but I’m a married person and an adult, I can decide the way I want to live my life. So yes, I’m having my third baby really soon. Thank you so much for the good wishes, thank you so much for the hate speeches. Save some of the hate speeches because the fourth will soon come to round it up then you can show your anger but for now it’s good news let’s celebrate.”
Watch the video below.
Oh well, I guess people will always talk. Whatever you do –people will always have an opinion, many of them thinking they are better than you. But you know what? Life is too short to live it worrying about what other people say. Because they will still talk anyway. So just live life for you.
From me, I say congratulations Mercy. Enjoy motherhood.
Today I’d like to introduce you to Wairimu, who will be a regular contributor here. Wairimu is aunt to six-year old Safari. Safari is her sister’s baby, and owing to the close relationship between the sisters, Wairimu feels as though Safari is her child as well. Wairimu will be sharing with us insights about raising a child with special needs.
Safari fell ill just after birth and was later (much later) diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy (CP). Wairimu – who we will now call ‘Tata Nimmo’ (Tata means aunt in Kikuyu while Nimmo is short for Wairimu), will be sharing with us her and her sister’s journey raising a child with this disability.
The beginning – Diagnosis
I remember Safari’s first attempts to call me.
Ta..ta..ta t..a…..he said repeatedly as the words struggled to form on his lips. But slowly and surely they came… and soon, everything was Tata. Safari calls me ‘Tata Nimmo’.
I remember his mother asking him some questions:
“Safari, who do you want to feed you?”
“Tata!” he would hurriedly exclaim!
When Safari was just three months old, we knew that something was wrong somewhere, though we could not tell exactly what. His head was still very wobbly and when we placed him on the sofa he would easily topple over so we would have to put a pillow on both sides to prevent him from doing so.
I remember when the rest of his agemates already had a few teeth, we remained patient, waiting for him to cut his first tooth. Worried, we asked a couple of doctors about his seemingly slow development. But the answer was always the same: that boys have ‘delayed milestones’, meaning they take longer to record milestones than girls of the same age.
And so we waited and waited…..and continued waiting….
But as we continued waiting, one particular incident was never far from our minds. This was something that happened when he was a newborn.
At only six days old he had jaundice. Many babies experience mild jaundice, which is a yellow tint to a newborn’s skin and the white part of the eyes. This is a sign that there is too much bilirubin in the baby’s blood. But it usually gets better or simply goes away on its own within a week or two –without causing any problems. However, in rare cases, if the bilirubin levels remain high and without appropriate medical attention, it could lead to brain damage called kernicterus. That is apparently what our baby had. Neonatal kernicterus. Interestingly, it is a doctor who diagnosed this condition during Safari’s six-day BCG jab at a public hospital in Pangani -Nairobi. Thankfully, the doctor had diagnosed him just in the nick of time. Because it was quite serious then. Safari was immediately admitted to Kenyatta National Hospital, where he underwent a blood transfusion and was placed under photo-therapy. I remember his little eyes being so tightly bandaged to ensure that no light reached or affected them. I wondered if it hurt him.
Three months later, we went for a follow-up visit at the hospital and were grateful when he was given a clean bill of health.
But as I mentioned earlier, he was not developing at the rate of most children his age. While he was quite physically active, something still bothered us. But yet, our concerns were dismissed by doctors –where we were told we were ‘just another set of anxious mother and aunt’.
That is until one day a friend referred us to a public dispensary after noticing that he could not stand on his own at almost two years old. At the dispensary, the doctor prescribed vitamin C supplements for two weeks and asked us to be on the lookout for any changes.
To cut the long story short, it was only when he turned two years that Safari was diagnosed with mild Cerebral Palsy, a disorder that impairs control of movement caused by damage to the developing brain. CP is one of the most common causes of chronic childhood disability. A significant percentage of children with CP experience some level of mental retardation and may also have learning disabilities, vision, speech, hearing or language problems.
Following this diagnosis, we started therapy at Kiambu District Hospital. At least we knew now that there was a problem and a possible solution.
We believe that his sickness during those first few weeks contributed to his condition. Our conversations with other mothers who have special children with CP are almost similar; they all say that their children fell sick at some point soon after birth. For some, it was malaria, others meningitis, others something else. But there was a sickness involved somewhere in those first weeks.
Tata Nimmo walking with Safari.
Safari is now six years old. He is now able to walk, though in a mild wobbly manner. His speech is much improved and he is in school. He is in an integrated school -where they have both regular and special units. He is now in pre-unit. Next year he heads to class one! We are so excited!
Every time we reflect on these experience as a family, we often feel that had he been well-attended to earlier –the jaundice and the diagnosis of cerebral palsy, he probably would have made more progress by now.
It is because of our experience that I wish to share a few tips with all mums, especially new ones.
Tips for New Mums
Safari was born in 2009 and by then we didn’t rely heavily on google to check his developmental milestones. But nowadays there is a whole lot of mummy bloggers talking about parenting and child development. Read their experiences regularly as you will always learn new things that will help you as you raise your children.
Listen out for comments about your child from friends or even visitors. When I visited my sister when Safari was three days old, I noticed that his eyes were ‘quite yellow’ and pointed it to her. A doctor friend then advised us to put him in the sun for a while. Maybe it helped a little… During his development I would point out things like why isn’t he able to do this or that, things that Mama had also noticed but like we pointed out the doctors told us otherwise.
As a mother trust your instincts. Be persistent even when the doctors say otherwise. Don’t be afraid to seek and consult widely, especially if your instincts say something is wrong. For us it’s the public hospital that was able to diagnose his CP.
You are never alone, once you know what the problem is you realize there are others out there who are going through the same things. Keep strong.”
And that is Nimmo’s beginning. Do you have a child with special needs? How was the diagnosis made? Was it made early, or did it take a while just like Safari’s?
When I was a new mum, one of my greatest concerns was sleep. Sleep for both baby and myself. It was very important that my baby got some good sleep otherwise I would not have a good sleep myself. And then they’d be lots of crankiness from both sides.
Now, one of the ways I ensured that my little one got a good rest was by investing in a quality diaper; one that fit him comfortably and kept him dry for a reasonable period of time –especially at night. Remember – if baby slept well, then I slept well too, and so did the other family members. Because a happy baby = a happy mum = a happy family ;). Very important.
One of the good quality diapers in the market today is Pampers baby-dry, which gives baby up to 12 hours of dryness – allowing him to have a good night’s sleep. Now, I’m giving away a jumbo pack size of Pampers baby-dry diapers and a pack of Pampers wipes, which you can win for yourself or a friend.
The Jumbo pack contains 72 diapers for babies in the 4 – 9 kg weight range. This is a perfect gift for an expectant mum, so if you’re planning on going for a baby shower soon, then this is something you can get for her. Also, if your relative, colleague or friend has recently been blessed with a new baby and you’re planning to go see her, then this is something you could carry for her as well. The wipes -56 sheets in total -can be used on babies of all ages.
The giveaway.
So what do you need to do to stand a chance to win? All you need to do is leave a comment below indicating why you’d like to win the Pampers baby-dry jumbo pack and Pampers wipes -whether for yourself or for your friend.
This giveaway will run from 14/09/15 – 18/0915. A randomly selected winner will be chosen on 19th and contacted via email. Giveaway will be given to Kenyan residents only.
Janet's daughter anxiously waiting for her 'big' moment.
Janet Wamwere recently learnt a valuable lesson about allowing and enabling her child to pursue a certain goal. Read her story below.
Two years ago, I found out that my now 12 year-old daughter was participating in the drama festivals at her school –without my knowledge. Not that I have anything against her participating in any extracurricular activities, I only have a problem with it when it’s done at the expense of her academics.
What had happened is that I had noticed a drop in her grades, and after much investigation I discovered that she had been spending a significant amount of time preparing for and participating in the drama festivals. Even though I was upset, I decided to have a candid chat with her.
My daughter revealed that one of the greatest motivations for her participation in the drama festivals was so that her school would win and following this, they would have the honor of performing for the President and even more importantly –she would shake his hand. My daughter really really wanted to shake the President’s hand.
Janet Wamwere.
So after listening to her, I felt so touched and decided to allow her to continue practicing and participating in the drama festivals. This is because she showed remorse and offered a sincere apology about going behind my back, which I accepted. However, she had to promise me that she would pull up her academic socks. That was the deal we struck. If she didn’t improve on her grades, then the drama would cease. I helped her understand the value of balancing all aspects of her life, ensuring that none failed as she focused on one over the other.
For two years, she and her school tried their level best to win in their province and make it to the national festivals, but they unfortunately did not. However, during the recent August holidays, they were pleasantly surprised when the teacher informed them of the possibility of performing for the President ‘soon’. My daughter couldn’t hold her excitement, and all I could do was share in the excitement with her.
Well, her dreams came true when last Friday 4 September 2015, my daughter and her drama team got to perform for President Uhuru Kenyatta during an official function at the Farmer’s Conference Center in Thogoto, Kiambu County. My daughter got to shake the President’s hand! Indeed, all dreams are valid.
Janet’s daughter anxiously waiting for her ‘big’ moment.Finally! The girl gets to shake the President’s hand!
My advice to parents is don’t dismiss your child’s interests. If you notice they have a love, passion and determination for something and will not stop insisting on it, then just let them try it out. Listen to them and help them achieve that dream. Don’t be the barrier to their ambitions.
Right now, my daughter is very happy, and has assured me that she will even work harder in her studies because she now believes that every dream of hers can come true. I am very proud of her and I thank God for not only answering her prayers, but mine too. She is a wonderful girl, a blessing to me.”
Awww… and that is Janet’s story of her daughter. Very touching. Has something like this ever happened to you too with your child?
The Multiples to Multiples Society held their annual open day last Sunday 6 September 2015 at the Children’s Traffic Park in Nairobi which me and my boys got to attend.
But what is the Multiples to Multiples Society, you ask?
In April 2012, Elizabeth Amakove Wala, a mother of four – a son and triplet girls started a Facebook group called ‘Multiple Blessings’. Her motivation for doing so was to interact with other families that had twins, triplets, quadruplets…. what is commonly known as ‘multiples’. Amakove intended for group members to support each other though exchange of information and experiences about all aspects of raising multiple babies –from the pregnancy, to breastfeeding, to immunization, to weaning, to traveling with them, to their education and everything else. Multiple Blessings became a forum for them to share in their ‘multiples journey’ together.
But as the group membership grew, they soon realized that there was a great need for psychosocial and material support for some families of multiples, some of who belonged to the group and others who did not. They then began a noble initiative –that of reaching out to families of multiples who were in dire need of some sort of assistance. This they did through in-kind donations, monetary assistance, emotional assistance and other forms of support. This is something the members have continued to do to date. In fact, it is these outreach activities that necessitated the formation of the ‘Multiples to Multiples Society’ in June 2013.
You can read more about the Multiples to Multiples Society here.
So I was more than happy to attend the group’s open day last Sunday, even though I’m no mum of multiples. Naturally, I happily took my boys along.
As we entered the park, the first thing that my boys spotted was the Dora and Diego bouncing castle, and that was it. They dashed over to it and I was left talking to myself, literally. There was also a trampoline, face painting and a slide that kept the kids well entertained. Then ofcourse, the kids had all the space –and tarmac –to ride their bikes which they had carried from home. Those who had carried their roller skates too had a lovely time.
Here’s some photos that I captured.
Play in the trampoline.Face painting.
Absolutely wonderful! These boys had so much fun zig-zagging all over the tracks.These triplets… too adorable!Fridah Mecha, a multiples mum and my former high-school mate.Agnes of Hobby World. It was good to see her again, last time I saw her was 15 years ago!The food spot.
Parents engaged in lots of play with their kids too.I just kept stalking these triplets, staring at how lovely they are. And my boys stalked them too because would have loved to take their Spiderman outfits and keep them as souvenirs.
Hanging out with parents of multiples at their open day was a good way to spend our Sunday afternoon, meet some of my old friends who I hadn’t seen in a while such as Agnes of Hobby World, as well as see so many twins and triplets in one place at the same time -something I’ve never experience before.
This is a very good forum, and if you know of anyone with twins or triplets, do invite them to join the Multiple Blessings group on Facebook here. There’s lots to learn there and they’ll feel quite at home.
Before I started this blog –four years ago, I could count on one hand the number of women I knew who had experienced pregnancy loss. But since then, my interaction with many women and mums has given me insights into a topic that many people prefer to be hush about.
Perhaps understandably so, because in a culture that glorifies pregnancy, motherhood and parenting; where social media updates are filled with images of beautiful baby bumps, adorable newborn photos, images of weekend ‘tings’ with the kids, capped with gorgeous family portrait photos, it can be an emotional moment for women who have experienced pregnancy loss -perhaps even more painful for those who are yet to successfully carry a pregnancy to term.
I have interacted with women who prefer to speak privately about the matter, some hiding away in shame and embarrassment about it. I have also met women who have no qualms speaking openly about their experiences -some of which I have published on this blog and others in my newspaper articles. In the same breath are people who feel that the topic of miscarriage is a very personal affair, one that should be dealt with privately.
This varied feedback is what prompted me to ask readers the question: ‘Should Women Openly Talk about Miscarriages’? I wanted to know the extent to which people were for or against the issue. I asked this question via the ‘Polls’ section on the blog. These are the results:
“You are counted among the mothers in the world. You are a mother too,” my pastor whispered to me as she stood beside my hospital bed. She then hugged me and prayed for me. This was in November 2013 – the day after I lost my baby. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time.”
Those are the words of one woman who has gone through pregnancy loss and who I have featured here a couple of times. Wanjiru Kihusa has gone through two miscarriages -one at five months and another in the first trimester. Wanjiru also authors her own blog here.
Here is more of what she wrote about her miscarriage experience.
“I am in a group of women who have experienced the cold hand of death through miscarriages. Women who mourn the children they never got to hold. I know about these women because I am one of them. To women who have gone through miscarriage, I know how you feel because I feel those things. I know how you sometimes feel lost and out of place among other mothers. I know how you have nothing to say when other mothers are swapping stories about their babies. I know how you are sometimes terrified of going for baby showers. I know how you sometimes feel like you have failed, how you sometimes question your womanhood. Trust me, I know.
I will tell the same thing my pastor told me that dull afternoon, “You are a mother too.” You are no less a mother than those who hug their children every day and wave to them as they go to school. You are a mother too and one day, your turn will come. You will get to hold your little adorable bundle of joy in your arms. You will swap stories about how important breastfeeding is. You will share their photos on Facebook and Instagram. You will look back and laugh at how you didn’t know where to start but you somehow managed to raise your kids. Hang in there, your turn will come. Keep trying.” Read more.
Wanjiru Kihusa, the lady behind #StillaMum.
Wanjiru is on a mission to demystify the myths surrounding miscarriages and infertility. She wants to create a support network for women so that they can know they are not alone. She has created a forum for women who have faced miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss, reminding them that they are still mothers.
Wanjiru believes that in the same way we grieve the loss of a parent, friend or a child who was live-birthed, it needs to become just as normal and accepted for us to share and grieve communally for lost pregnancies. “Because the pain is just as real and lasting,” she says.
Join Wanjiru in the #StillaMum conversations on Facebook and on Twitter. Share this information you know with someone who has lost a baby -be they a man or a woman. Share it with a friend or relative who knows someone who has experienced pregnancy loss. Let’s help build a supportive community around the issue of miscarriage, where women will not have to suffer in silence, feeling ashamed or blaming themselves for pregnancy loss.
Ninda with the birthday girl, three year old Nekesa.
Happy Monday to you, and hope you had a great weekend. So what was I up to over the weekend?
Well, on Saturday, the boys and I went over to Nekesa’s birthday party. Nekesa turned three years old, and she is the daughter of my good friend Ninda Kang’ethe. Ninda and I worked together at our former workplace, where we shared an office. We were at some point pregnant at the same time -as she was with Nekesa and her twin, and I with Ello. Let’s just say there was alot of cravings and feeding in that office :).
I call Ninda a supermom because she has five children, is a career mum who works an 8 – 5pm job, runs a successful cupcakes side business and still manages to look so beautiful and graceful. Me and my two kids the way they consume my entire life, now five? The Lord does indeed give everyone a plate of what He knows they can handle.
So anyway, here’s some photos of how Nekesa’s birthday party went.
The bouncing castle. I must be behind news because nowadays bouncing castles come complete with an inbuilt slide? Okay.
Meanwhile, Ninda was in the kitchen preparing all the snacks. She’s such a home-maker this one.
Ninda with the birthday girl, three year old Nekesa.Ninda with her first born Azizi, who is 16 years old. One day my boys will be this old too :).Ninda and her five kids: Nyambura, Nakwavi, Zainabu, Nekesa and Azizi. Wow!
Sisters Nyambura and Kwavi having a duel.Happy birthday Nekesa! May God bless you with many more happy and healthy years!
My boys and I had a good time at the birthday and as usual, were very sad when it was time to leave. Ello wanted Nekesa to come home with us because they had had so much fun together.
Nekesa’s birthday each year is always a bitter-sweet moment for Ninda, her husband and their children as they celebrate it in loving memory of Nekesa’s twin sister Tsisika, who passed on just a few hours after birth. Continue dancing with the angels, little princess. You were gone too soon :(.
Ruth Nasimiyu is mother to two-year old daughter Sanaa Naimasiah. On her daughter’s fashion sense, Ruth says she loves to dress her all sassy.
“She’s a girl and a diva, and I love it when she dresses fabulously,” says a proud Ruth as she plants loving kisses on her daughter’s cheeks.
Ruth takes us through some of Sanaa’s outfits.
Here, Sanaa rocks a purple sweater dress from Baby Shop and pink gladiator sandals from House of Leather.Sanaa wears a red dress gifted to her by her grandmother.Her jumpsuit was bought in South Africa from Mr. Price. The sandals are from Toi Market.Sanaa wears a dress bought from Biashara Street. The purple bow was bought from a beauty shop.Ruth wears an outfit tailored by Kidosho.
Ruth on her fashion style:
I cannot really define my fashion style. Whatever that strikes my eye I will find myself putting it on. Mostly though I prefer having my own designs tailored according to my liking and need.
On fashion advice to fellow parents on dressing their kids:
My advice to parents is dress your child in a way that will bring out their confidence as well as your confidence. Because truly there’s no one who doesn’t want to look and feel good!