For mums who travel often, after how long do you feel confident enough to go for a trip when you have a new house girl? One week? A month? Three months? Half a year? A year? How about never? Well, these are some of the questions I found myself asking after reading about the story of one woman in Nairobi called Monica Wairimu, whose new house girl stole a couple of items from her. The stolen items included:
Death certificate (don’t ask)
Assorted jewelry
Sh3,000 in cash
Three handbags
Three wigs
ATM cards
Clothes
Shoes
All the above items were reported to be valued at about Sh60,000.
The house girl – called Stella Shilingi (no kidding) stole the items when her employer was out on a trip. It is actually a mama mboga at a nearby kiosk, and suspicious of the items that Stella was carrying, who called up Monica and asked her if she’d asked her house girl to take some items to her (Monica’s) boutique, that the truth was discovered. Monica had not asked her house girl to take any items anywhere.
So after Monica reported the case to the authorities, Stella was arrested in her Kakamega home, where some of he stolen items were recovered. She’s now pleading for forgiveness. Stella had worked for Monica for only 16 days.
What should you or should you not eat when pregnant? And what is that they say about not eating liver during pregnancy? Guest writer Dr. Stephen Mutiso, a consultant obstetrician / gynaecologist offers us helpful insights with regard to this.
What Foods Should You Eat While Pregnant?
Pregnant women should eat healthy foods in order to provide adequate nutrition to the growing baby. A pregnant woman must strive to eat a balanced diet, as this is crucial for the healthy development of the baby.
A diet is balanced if it contains the following: starch, proteins, vitamins and minerals. Thankfully, many of our locally available foods are rich in these nutrients, and they are affordable. Foods rich in starch include ugali, rice, chapati and potatoes. Common sources of proteins include beans, peas, fish, milk, eggs and meat. There are many fruits and vegetables available locally which are a good source of vitamins and nutrients and include spinach and sukuma wiki.
It is also important to note that the demand for iron in pregnancy is very high and cannot be met purely through foods. That is why iron supplementation is recommended during pregnancy.
A high intake of fiber and water is recommended during pregnancy, as it helps to reduce constipation because pregnancy slows down bowel movement.
What about Liver During Pregnancy? Should you or Should you not Eat?
It is not advisable to eat foods rich in vitamin A –such as liver or if eaten, they should be eaten in moderation. This also applies to supplements that contain high doses of vitamin A. This is because high doses of this vitamin have been associated with significant birth defects, hence caution to avoid prenatal vitamins containing this vitamin. This caution is especially important for women planning to get pregnant, and during the first trimester of pregnancy when the organs are forming.
Pregnant women are also advised to avoid raw and undercooked meat which may increase risk of acquiring toxoplasmosis which may affect the baby.
Alcohol must be avoided at all times.
Should I be Eating for Two When Pregnant?
From a nutritional point of view, a pregnant woman eats for two, hence the need for her to eat nutritious food. However, this does not mean eating twice as much in pregnancy. She should focus on ensuring she eats quality food, not quantity food. Eating too much is bad both for the mother and baby and could lead to problems.
How Much Weight Should I Gain During Pregnancy?
Weight gain during pregnancy is vital in preparation for breastfeeding. The recommended weight gain for non-obese women by the end of pregnancy is 10-12kg.This translates to about 0.5kg per week. If one is obese, the recommended weight gain is about 8kg.Weight loss during pregnancy is not recommended, so one should not be on a weight-loss diet.
Most of the weight gain occurs after 20 weeks of pregnancy when nausea and vomiting has reduced or even ceased.
Gaining too much weight increases the risk of gestational diabetes, backache, high blood pressure and a likely caesarean section due to a big baby. Too little weight gain can lead to low birth weight and premature birth.
Dr. Stephen Mutiso is based in Nairobi, and he provides a wide range of gynaecological services including: antenatal care, delivery (normal and caesarean), infertility treatment, fibroids, fistula issues, and screening for reproductive tract cancers, and gynaecological operations.
As we start the year, I have to share with you some helpful insights from my former colleague, award-winning journalist, soccer commentator and father -Sammy Muraya. They are important lessons that he learnt in 2015, and which I’m sure would be of great benefit to you too – especially if you’re in business.
Muraya says:
“2015 was a pretty weird and tough year, and I’m glad that God helped me see it through. But in as much as I may just want to talk about the toughness, there have been lessons learnt and blessings too. The most valuable lessons that I am taking to 2016 are:
1. Business and friendship should never mix. When doing a deal, do it purely as business and think of yourself first.
2.Mixing family and business can either work for you or really mess you up big time. Sometimes you just have to turn down relatives because more often than not they will not appreciate your efforts and will only see the negative things. They will not take note of the extra effort you put in, or the fact that you many times have to go back to your pocket to get the job done.
3. Never ever do any serious business deal in a bar. More often than not the conversations will be forgotten and what you thought was a sealed deal ends up being a memory in your head only.
4. Never ever have verbal agreements with anyone. Where possible, make sure you have something written before you enter any deal.
5. Don’t lose friends no matter what. It is in tough times that you will know your real friends. Try to hold onto the few that you know will be there for you no matter what.
Having said all that, I am praying that you all have a great 2016 ahead. I am sure mine will be a Happy 2016.”
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Have you had any experiences dealing mixing business with family and friends? How was that like?
Have you ever seen a man carrying his child on his back – you know – the way we women do it with a lesso or towel? I’m yet to see one myself, but one such man in South Africa recently caused a stir when he was spotted in a supermarket carrying his 3 year-old daughter Funzani on his back – tied with a towel. Awwww how sweeeeeet!
But apparently not everybody thought it was a ‘sweet’ move, as 26 year-old Sandani Muremela ended up being laughed at and ridiculed by fellow men, with many accusing his wife of having cast a ‘love spell’ on him – I guess because there’s no way a sane, fully grown African man can be seen in public carrying around a child tied to his back – the way we women do it.
But this caring father couldn’t be bothered much by people’s comments. He had opted to carry his daughter that way in the supermarket, in a bid to make his shopping experience much easier (good idea). Sandani also said that he has chosen to be a present father for his daughter, himself having being raised by a single mum after his father left the family when he was just a year old.
“I don’t want my child not to know the love of a father. It’s not a good thing at all. “I love my daughter and will do everything to protect her,” he said.
I could just about tear up right now.
The girl’s mum, 24 year-old Lebohang Mashego acknowledged Sandani’s dedication to his daughter, saying that she knew she could depend on him.
“I’m proud of him. I’m glad he’s not ashamed to carry our daughter like that, and I didn’t give him korobela (the equivalent of kamuti I guess?).”
Awwwww!
Photo by Quibell Rantswana
A big thumbs up to Sandani Muremela!
Do you know of any dads who carry their children tied to their backs, with a lesso or towel? Does this happen in Kenya? I would sure like to meet one!
This is a completely heartbreaking news item that got me shedding tears. The pain that Mercy Ndula is going through right now is just unbearable. Anyone with leads that can help reunite her newborn daughter with her, please assist.
At 7.30pm on Friday 13 November 2015, my cousin Richard Ngugi, a taxi driver in Gatundu town was at work when some clients approached him and asked to be dropped somewhere. He obliged.
The following morning, Saturday, his wife reported that he hadn’t returned home the previous night – which was extremely unusual of him because he would always go back home no matter the hour. Word spread round, and then began the earnest search for him. On that Saturday, our hopes were high that he’d be found somewhere, alive. However, we started becoming really worried when that Saturday afternoon, his taxi was found in a car wash in Nairobi’s Eastlands area. On Sunday, we were completely stressed out, but we still had lots of hope.
By Monday morning, we didn’t want to speak. No one was talking. Just looking at each other and muttering silent prayers. The wait was long and agonizing. Tense. Nerve-wracking, because hard as one tried, somehow one’s thoughts now began shifting to the unthinkable. We all had sweaty palms and I bet sweaty armpits too. But we nevertheless remained hopeful. Sometimes, when all is lost, hope is all you have left.
At 10am Monday, the police called the family about a body that had been found dumped in Murang’a on Saturday, and so if someone could go down there to check if it was that of our Richard.
Richard’s brother went down to Murang’a.
It was Richard’s body.
His head had been bludgeoned, thoroughly, and he’d also been strangled. The item used to strangle him was still around the neck. He had also bled from the nose, mouth and ears. The blood was dry, but it was there. Lots of it. Thick red.
When I received the news on that Monday afternoon, I cried. I cried like a baby. I cried so hard. I couldn’t believe that Richard (we called him Risi) was gone, worse, in such a gruesome manner.
Risi’s mum and my mum are sisters – she being my mum’s immediate follower. I’ve mentioned on this blog a couple of times about my childhood holidays in Gatundu. Almost every holiday, my folks would ship us out of the city and straight into Gatundu. Same thing with Richard and his siblings. Though they lived in Gatundu town – not too far away from my grandparents place, they’d all be dumped there as well :-). They were five of them – four brothers and one sister, while us guys were four – two boys and two girls.
Richard and I were particularly close because we were agemates – he was just three weeks older than I, so I guess we used to operate on the same ‘wavelength’ :). Together, we’d climb the loquat trees (why did we used to call them ‘luguads’ though?), eat unwashed mangoes, green ripe avocados and passion fruits from the farm. We’d also play truant when we were assigned coffee-picking duties (I hated picking coffee beans because I once met a chameleon on the tree I was picking and let out a loud scream. I developed an intense phobia for the coffee trees after that – to date), where we’d go take a dip at River Thiririka which was just down the valley (or rather my brothers and boy cousins used to take a dip – me I just used to follow them and watch from a distance, too scared to jump in). Risi and our cousins would help us out with our very bad Kikuyu while we’d help them with their English. We had so much fun together. Such wonderful memories of Risi I hold dear.
To learn of his painful death was devastating. Excruciating to the heart – the kind of pain that pierces you and you don’t know what painkiller you can swallow just to take it all away. He died on the eve of his 37th birthday. He died that Friday night, the same night he was picked up by ‘clients’.
My heart was heavy for an entire week. Like really really heavy – the kind of heavy that even makes you physically weary. I have dealt with death of a loved one before –through accident or illness, but I have never had to deal with death through murder. How does one find closure, especially when the perpetrators are still unknown, and the reasons for the murder still unknown? It is now about a month and a half since Risi left us, but my heart is still heavy. Especially now during this Christmas week. Because for me, ever since I was a child, Christmas has always been synonymous with Gatundu. I still cry when I think about my dear brother Risi. Too many unanswered questions. My heart bleeds for his young wife and the two little children he left behind. :((
And to my aunt, who was unable to attend the burial since she was recovering from an accident that had happened two months prior, where she’d been hospitalized all through – only to be discharged just three days before Risi’s death. Risi used to take a few hours off work every day to visit his hospitalized mum in Thika town. He is the one who had driven her home on the day she was discharged, and he was really excited about having her back home. He died three days later. Still unable to walk on her own or sit up, she lay in her bed all through Risi’s burial – which was happening at the family farm just next door. She could hear the proceedings at the burial, blaring through the PA system. She didn’t want to see any visitor, didn’t want to speak to anyone, and preferred to keep indoors throughout. I understood.
Her husband – Risi’s father, who had been involved in the same accident as her, was at least able to attend the burial, albeit with much difficulty as his legs too had not healed and he could barely stand or walk, and remained seated throughout the entire funeral. But atleast he attended. I watched him struggle on crutches, take one excruciating step after another – held on each side by relatives, as he made his way to the graveside, and slowly take a handful of soil in his right hand and throw it over his son’s coffin which had been lowered in the grave. It was a painful sight. It was the second time he was doing so. The second time he and my aunt were burying a child. Another son. Their second born son, Samuel, died in a road accident 10 years ago.
Risi’s funeral service.
We laid Risi to rest on Tuesday 24 November at the family farm in Gatundu. It was also the first time I attended a burial where politicians spoke. Moses Kuria, who is the local MP spoke and ofcourse, Moses who is the usual Moses you know, spoke what he normally speaks. Then there was also Ferdinand Waititu whose mission at Risi’s burial was to confirm to the Gatundu people that he is indeed running for Kiambu governor in 2017, because the incumbent has basically been doing nothing – in his view. Sigh. These politicians –they tire me. But I guess only because we allow them to.
Anyway.
Death through murder is distressing. It becomes difficult to eat, sleep or drink. All you do is just shed tears. It hurts so deep. Even though I don’t cry as much as I used to like before, the dark cloud still hungs heavy. But I do admit that time has made it better. Risi’s death made me empathize with all those who have lost dear ones through similar circumstances. I don’t know how one finds closure. I seriously don’t. If you have the answer, please let me know. If this has happened to you, I pray for God’s peace and comfort upon you. I know you have lots of questions for God, maybe even anger and bitterness towards Him, perhaps even lost faith in Him, but I nevertheless pray for you even as you heal from your loss. And I pray that somehow, you will find forgiveness in your heart, however difficult that may be. Because forgiveness is important.
Fare thee well my brother Risi. Till we meet again. Say hello to Samuel and Guka. Tell guka that we miss the goats (theng’e) he’d slaughter for us every Christmas. Christmas was such a huge feast in shaggz waaah! Also tell Guka that his grandson Kitty is a leftie just like him. By the way that is one other memory I have. When Guka aimed at something, he never missed. Not even once. When playing with us, he’d aim at us with a passion fruit or a loquat. No matter how much you prepared for his aim – and even ducked, the fruit would still hit you smack! How, I don’t know. We always thought he had special powers in that left hand of his. They say lefties have a perfect aim. I believe it.
I’ve recently returned from Harare, Zimbabwe, where I attended the International Conference on AIDS and STIs in Africa (ICASA). Ofcourse, we cannot talk about HIV/AIDS and STIs without touching on women and maternal health issues -which I love writing about.
My stay in Zim was pretty busy where my focus was entirely on the proceedings of the conference – which were very informative. I will be highlighting, in subsequent posts, some of the key messages I took home from ICASA. In the meantime though, let me share with you some of the four things that stood out for me from Zim:
1. Harare is HOT. Hot hot hot. At some point I had to google to just to check where we were again because I was sure we were right in the heart of the Kalahari Desert. I had a permanent headache for the first like three days before my body got used to it. The heat!
2. Zimbabwe’s roads are good. Both within the capital city and out of it. We drove to a rural village called Kasanze which is about 2 and a half hours from Harare, and the road all the way was good. I didn’t count even one pothole. It was a smooth and comfortable ride. Save for the excruciating heat.
3. One of Zimbabwe’s favorite meal is sadza, which is just a softer version of our ugali. I ate so much sadza and goat meat stew I thought they would grow in my stomach. The sadza is quite nice, actually.
4. Zimbabweans need to get to the point where we (Kenyans) were during the clamor for multi-party democracy and the change in leadership. Those guys need a miracle I tell you. ‘Dejected’ is the best word that comes to mind when I think of Zimbabweans. I have all my suggestions about what they can do, but this is not a political blog so let me stay focused. But in summary, I think that Zimbabweans are not yet fed up. One day, they will be completely fed up, and that day, there will be a revolution. They will just wake up one day and say you know what? We’re done. We’re done with this gobbledygook. Remember how fed up Kenyans were, when all we wanted was a DIFFERENT rulership? Yeah, Zimbabweans need to get there. And they need to not be afraid to get there. For now, they’re not yet there. Nope. Not even close. The day they’ll be fed up, the whole world will know.
ICASA though was a very good experience – more so in my capacity as a journalist/mummy blogger, and I’m glad I attended. And no, I didn’t get to visit Victoria Falls because it’s over 500km’s away from Harare, and as mentioned, mine was purely a work trip :). Victoria Falls is one of the most spectacular waterfalls in the world, and one of Africa’s most outstanding attractions. Woulda been nice to visit it though.
I’m sure you’ve come across Reverend Philip Kitoto’s articles in the Daily Nation newspaper (DN2) where he offers advice on relationships. Well, this Saturday 28 November, you can get to listen to him speak at a family dinner event.
You know me… I’m all about raising good, responsible kids, and I’m sure there will be something in Pastor Kitoto’s talk that will help influence you and I to achieve our parenting goals, so this is definitely something of interest.
What you can look forward to: Sumptuous meals, great ambiance, lots to learn, fun and laughter, and the opportunity to meet other like-minded people.
If you can make time to attend this event, then do so, I’m sure you’ll be enriched and blessed.
Ann Wanjiku, a Kenyan-born mum who has now settled in Germany and is raising her family there, has taken us through snippets of her motherhood journey; from her pregnancy and her birthing experience in a German hospital, to naming her son (comparing the Kenyan and German naming differences), to how she found out that breastfeeding didn’t come as easy as she thought it would!
Today, Ann relieves the moments when, as a new mum, she had to bath her son, who is now 11 months old. Read on…
“During one of the home visits after being discharged from hospital with my newborn, I was taught how to bathe the baby by the midwife. She advised us not to bathe him every day so as not to ruin his skin. The midwife also recommended using olive oil for his bath as opposed to using baby soaps.
The baby’s bath tub that Ann used. The green ripples are anti-skid. They aid in avoiding the baby to slide. For older babies it helps to have them sit still without slidding.
The midwife instructed me to fill warm water into the baby bath tub/ basin, then add two tablespoons of olive oil. Since it was a newborn, I was supposed to use a towel to support the baby so that if he stretched out his arms, he could touch the towel and get a sense of being enclosed, which for him was a sense of security. I followed these instructions and found out that after bathing him, I didn’t need to moisturize the baby’s skin with baby lotions :).
Afterwards, the midwife taught me how to dry the baby with a hair dryer. I was supposed to do so from a safe distance on low heat. The baby has to be lying down on a high place like a changing station. The instructions were that I put my hand before the dryer when drying his lower body to avoid the risk of electrocution if he were to pee during drying. Reason being the warmth and the noise from the dryer often calms the baby.
However, I didn’t like this method and discontinued it after only two attempts. The reason I stopped was because I wasn’t feeling confident enough to continue drying him this way, because it requires one to be very meticulous while doing do since since the slightest error could be fatal. I just opted to use a towel and gently pat baby’s body dry and then dress him up.
And that sums up my baby-bathing and drying experience :)”
The olive oil that Ann uses to bath her baby.The towel method for bathing a newborn. You cover the bathtub/ basin with a towel then you add water and olive oil.
Would you like to be a guest writer? Do you have a motherhood experience that you would like to share with fellow readers? Email me on maryanne@mummytales.com and I’ll give you more details.
