How late is too late to have a child? How old is too old to be a first-time mother?
So, there’s this 28-year-old lady who is worried that, at child-bearing age, she hasn’t thought of settling down with a husband/partner. But that’s not the main issue. Her greatest worry is that she wants children, but not just yet –at least not before she’s 36.
However, everyone she mentions this to keeps yapping about how the quality of eggs for a woman deteriorate after the age of 30. And even more scarier is that the deterioration rate goes on overdrive after the age of 35.
Her reason for wanting to delay childbearing is because she wants to continue enjoying life for now- scaling heights in the career ladder, traveling around the world for work leisure (which she currently frequently and comfortably does), lazing around on weekends doing nothing but binging on series’ and movies, and basically having no responsibilities at all other than herself. She would also like to continue clubbing for a couple of years more while imbibing her favourite tipple –something she has decided to stop doing once she has children. Until the age of 36, she still wants to continue exploring the world and enjoying life without serious commitments.
Thing is, she has seen what motherhood does to women, where the mother no longer has a life of her own, but one that is practically dictated to by her child/children.
She believes that motherhood, whether you like it or not, and regardless of whether you are with a supportive and present partner or not, changes the life of a woman completely. She believes that the decision to have a child is not one that should be taken lightly. For now, she enjoys a pretty comfortable and carefree life, one that she knows she will not be able to achieve once she becomes a mother –at least to the level of satisfaction she enjoys now.
So she’s pondering over the decision to delay having a child at least until she’s 36 years old as she feels she’ll then be mentally ready and fully committed to dealing with all the changes and responsibilities that come with motherhood.
But she’s also wondering if having a child after 36 will be too late for her, and if she’ll be able to have a healthy child considering that her eggs will have already significantly deteriorated at that age.
What would you advise her?
*If you are a mom who had a child/children later in life and would like to share your experience (you can be anonymous), please write me at maryanne@mummytales.com
Mummy Tales by Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBE l INSTAGRAM l TWITTER
