Home Babies “How many children do you have?” Answering this question after a stillbirth

“How many children do you have?” Answering this question after a stillbirth

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Wendy-Mwatha
Screen grab: Life With Wendy Mwatha on YouTube

By Maryanne W. WAWERU

When you ask Wendy Mwatha how many children she has, she never hesitates to respond ‘three’. The 29-year-old flight attendant, fashion model and content creator who shares motherhood, travel and lifestyle content on her Instagram, YouTube and TikTok channels, is a mother of two handsome boys and one beautiful daughter ‘who is now an angel’.

Wendy lost her daughter in 2021, an experience that she documented on her YouTube channel.

Wendy never says she is a mother of two, and she shares her reasons why.

“Because that would be a disservice to myself, because I carried her in my body, I nurtured her and I laboured for her for a good eight hours and I gave birth to her and I held her little, tiny body in my arms and I kissed her, and she was somebody. She was my daughter. It is unfortunate that she passed away, but why should I not acknowledge the fact that she is my child?” Wendy said in this heartfelt post on Instagram.

The mother of three went on to encourage fellow women who have ever experienced the loss of a child.

“To fellow moms who have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth or have lost their child in one way or another, let society not dictate how you choose to remember your child, because at the end of the day, he or she was part of you.”

Kenya: stillbirth statistics snapshot (source)

  • A stillbirth is defined as a baby who is born without any signs of life after 28 weeks of pregnancy or in the third trimester
  • Kenya’s stillbirth rate is reported at 19 per 1,000 births
  • Stillbirth can occur during pregnancy and prior to birth, before labor begins (antepartum stillbirth), as well as during labor and birth (intrapartum stillbirth)
  • In Kenya, 53% of stillbirths occurred during labor and birth, while 47% occurred during pregnancy
  • Stillbirths are caused by various factors; some are known while others are unknown. Approximately 1 in 3 stillbirths do not have known causes.

If you have ever experienced or a stillbirth or child loss, how do you usually respond to the question: “how many children do you have?” What have you found works best for you? If you’d like to share your story, please email me at: maryanne@mummytales.com

Mummy Tales by Maryanne W. Waweru is a platform dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here. Connect with Mummy Tales on: FACEBOOK l YOU TUBEINSTAGRAM l TWITTER

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Maryanne W. Waweru is a Kenyan mum raising her two sons in Nairobi. A journalist, Maryanne is passionate about telling stories and hopes that through her writing, her readers learn something new, feel encouraged, inspired, and appreciative of what they have in their lives. Maryanne's writing focuses on motherhood, women and lifestyle. "Telling stories is the only thing I know how to do," she says.

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    • Thank you Wendy for sharing your story, for the encouragement and for your positivity about all situations. Lots of hugs to you and your babies.

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