Wednesday, April 24, 2024
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Is it two months already? How did that happen?

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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2

Can you imagine Kitty is already two months old? I’m yet to believe it. *checking calendar for the nth time to re-confirm dates. Yep, it is two months*. Wow, how time flies! Wasn’t it just the other day the pregnancy test kit displayed two strips? Wasn’t it only last week when he was kicking my ribs and hiccuping in my womb? Wasn’t it just yesterday when he was an hour-old marvelous beauty to relatives and friends who had rushed to the hospital upon learning the good news? Wasn’t it just hours ago that I was struggling to get out my first breast milk?

Truly, these two months have passed by shwaaaaaaaaaaa!

Granted, the second month has been much easier than the first one. The first month was quite stressful for me. Being a first time mom, everything was just demanding and I wasn’t too sure if I was coping well or not. Funny because I thought I had fully prepared myself mentally, physically and psychologically for motherhood. But despite this, I donno what happened because those first days seemed to be a tad bit too overwhelming for me.

Perhaps one of the main reasons for this is because Kitty was colic. Many are the days both he and I would cry for hours on end. Sleep was something I could only imagine in my head, fantasize and wish for. And despite having the full support of the hubby, my househelp, relatives and friends, I still felt too overwhelmed. I was constantly worn out and felt like a robot, just going through the day routinely without having the time or energy to do anything outside of baby.

But come the second month, things got better as Kitty began settling to life outside the womb. His colic ended, his sleeping patterns became abit more established and we now both sleep well at night. Kitty also began latching on well to the breast (thus no cracked and sore nipples), and we were both happy. Life has really been good this month, no complaints at all. It is in this month that I’ve gotten to appreciate some of the things about motherhood, things that I wasn’t able to in the first month when things seemed pretty blue and when I didn’t have a moment of rest.

For starters, his physical features have undergone a transition. In the first month, he was so tiny and almost all his moves were executed in kinda-like slowmotion. His eyes were tiny and looked puffy. Nowadays he moves with a lot of confidence, his eyes and other facial features have taken a definite form. He has grown heavier and taller, forcing me to adjust how I rock him to sleep, as I could previously, with ease, hold him on the palm of my hands and balance him well. Not so anymore because he is now longer than my entire arm. He is today much more heavier, sometimes making my biceps ache. No kidding, I do have biceps nowadays.

So as I look back on the last two months, these are some of the things that I have noted about Kitty that have made the whole motherhood experience so precious, the little things that continue to bring so much joy to my life:

– Whenever I’m trying to burp him, he is always trying to nibble at my chin. Many are the times I end up with lots of saliva or burped milk all over my chin and blouse. At this rate, I will start putting on a bib to protect me clothing.
– Kitty has some interesting hair. It’s soft and thin and scanty, and hasn’t grown an inch since he was born. If anything, I think it has become less.
– When trying to catch my attention or when bored and relaxing, he coos and babbles a lot. The way he moves his tongue, lips, mouth and jaws as he produces exciting sounds whilst punching and kicking in the air make for a lovely sight. Hearing and watching him doing so makes my heart go ga-ga.
– When splurging him with kisses he often gives me a look of “mummy what exactly are you doing?” And when his father attempts to do so too, Kitty always pushes his face away. I guess boys reject murshy-ness from an early age, while we women just looooooooooove it.
– When sleepy, he rubs his eyes nonstop at the same time fighting with his face. Thank God for mittens.
– Kitty is an interesting sight when he’s asleep. Besides sleeping with his mouth open, he sleeps with his eyes half closed. Reminds me of kaka sungura, who, due to his mischief also sleeps with his eyes half open – always on the lookout for who might be coming to seek revenge.
– In the first month, he would smile in his sleep. Each time his mouth broke into a smile, his ears would go up and this would tickle me. But today, Kitty actually smiles and laughs with me – when he is awake. And as he does so, he punches and kicks in the air while producing these little interesting sounds which I think when translated mean “mummy you’re so pretty and I love you so much:-)”.
– In his early days, I would struggle to burp him and when he did, it was a tiny little faint almost inaudible burp. Nowadays he burps with ease, producing a deep and prolonged manly burp. Almost similar to his father’s:-).
– When I hold him upright and he wraps his arms around my neck. Priceless.
– How sweet he always smells, especially after his bath.

There are many other things but these are the ones I can write today. My lesson learnt is that even in the throes of hectic everyday living, there are always one or two things around us that can make our hearts melt with joy. If only we took time to observe and appreciate them.

So happy two-month old birthday Kitty. How time has flown so fast I have no idea. All I can say is that mummy and daddy love you so much, and we look forward to many more of your birthdays. We wish you God’s prosperity in all spheres of your life. xoxo.

Dorcas Nthenya: My Experiences Raising my Twin Girls

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
-
2

Dorcas Nthenya Kibachio is a 33 year old Kenyan mother who delivered her first born twins in August last year. She talks to me about her motherhood experiences in this interview.

MT: When did you find out you were going to have twins? Who did you share this news with?

DNK: By week 8 of my pregnancy, I was experiencing severe migraines and bad nausea. At 8 weeks my clothes were already feeling tight, something I thought was unusual. When I reported this to my gynecologist, he sent me for a scan. That was when my husband and I were given the news that we were expecting twins. Listening to the two heartbeats was an indescribable experience. We were very surprised yet excited in equal measure, especially because neither of our families had a history of twins. My husband and I capped the good news by going out that evening to celebrate.

The first person I called was my mum with whom I shared the good news. Then came the second surprise of the day – my mum told me that our family had a history of twins, that her own sister has three sets of them! The next person we informed was my mother-in-law who was equally excited.

MT: Did you find out the sex of the babies? Did you tell other people?

DNK: I was curious to find out the sex of the twins and when I finally did so, I was by myself. I immediately shared the results of the scan with my husband. We chose to keep this information a secret until they were born.

MT: What was your pregnancy like? Any complications?

DNK: My pregnancy was okay, I didn’t experience complications as such. I walked to work every single day right up to the 7th month when walking became strenuous for me, mainly because my knees began aching. On some days I would use a taxi but when the knee pain wasn’t as bad, I would walk.

MT: Did you have any cravings?

DNK: During my first trimester, I loved eating githeri (mixed maize and beans) from one particular hotel. This was the only meal I would eat on my own without being coerced to feed by my husband. I remember I also couldn’t stand the smell of fried onions, so all our food was either boiled or fried with tomatoes only. For some reason, the smell of onions repulsed me.

I also loved lots of fruits, and ate lots of chicken and pork from the first day I discovered I was pregnant through to the day I delivered. Meanwhile, I stopped eating beef as I just didn’t feel like it.

MT: Did you work till last day?

DNK: I enjoyed going to work until my 37th week when I woke up one day and hard as I tried, I just could not get myself to go to work. Largely because my back was aching, and also because I used to get very hungry I felt I needed to be at home where the househelp would fix a quick meal of my choice anytime I needed it.

MT: Were they born early or on the due date?

DNK: The twins were delivered early because of some complications. Their umbilical cords were around their necks, so the doctor advised that it would be safer to have them delivered earlier than their due date. However, by some sort of coincidence, I started having contractions on the morning of the scheduled day of the caesarian section. I had mixed emotions – I was overly excited yet very nervous and scared. Thank God my husband was there with me and he gave me all the support and strength I needed as our twins were born.

MT: Are they identical or fraternal?

DNK: They are identical.

MT: Did you have to cope with colic?

DNK: Yes they were colic, and that meant I lots of sleepless nights. I lost memory of the last time I had a good night’s sleep. Their colicky was made worse by the fact they were on formula milk. Even though we gave them a certain drug to relieve their colic, it worked on some days and on others it didn’t, so we just learnt how to cope. But it certainly wasn’t easy.

MT: Describe what it is like feeding twins.

DNK: Feeding twins is no walk in the park for sure. It is hectic! I used to breastfeed them in between expressing breastmilk which they would take during the night. In addition, I had to supplement the milk with formula as I didn’t have enough breastmilk to satisfy them both. We would buy about a dozen tins of formula each month.

When I resumed work after my three maternity leave, my breastmilk reduced significantly. I weaned them at 5 months.

MT: They say that mothers of twins concentrate too much on the one with lower weight at birth, sometimes neglecting the heavier one. Is this true?

DNK: There is indeed some element of truth in this, going by my experience. I paid so much attention to the smaller one, especially in the first 2 weeks after we left hospital. They were born at 38 weeks, and while Faith weighed 2.25kg, Hope weighed just 1.8kg. Hope stayed in the neonatal High Dependency Unit for 6 days, and I gave her more attention than I did her sister. Now I give each one of them my equal attention, unless when one is sick and I have to concentrate on her. They are now 10 months old and weigh about 10kg.

MT: Did you have to cope with nipple cracks and painful breasts?

DNK: No I did not have sore or cracked nipples because the nurse at the hospital taught me how to position the baby on the breast so that they could latch well. But sometimes when my milk was alot and for some reason I was unable to express the pain would be unbearable…I felt like as though my breasts would burst!

MT: Is it true that when one gets sick the other one follows?

DNK: I couldn’t agree more with that statement. When one gets sick, hard as I try to ensure the other one does not fall ill too, I have never succeeded for shortly thereafter, the other twin always catches the infection. But thankfully, they rarely fall sick at the same time – one falls sick when the other one is almost attaining full recovery. If they both fell sick at the same time, I sure would go mad!

MT: Help around the house – how has that been?

DNK: I had to hire two houseirls. One is a day scholar and has been with me since the twins were 2 weeks old. I am very grateful because she has been of great assistance to me. As for the boarders, they usually stay for 3 months at most, then get tired and leave as they find it difficult to cope. I continue to pray that God will help me get one who will stay for long.

MT: What responsibilities does each househelp have? Do you pay them the same amount?

DNK: I do not assign tasks as such, they agree and divide chores among themselves. Initially, I used to pay the boarder more because when my husband was not around (I am based in Embu while he works in Nairobi), I would wake her up to help me feed the twins. Now I pay them the same amount because I feed the children myself at night and by the time the day scholar leaves in the evening, much of the work around the house has been completed.

MT: A mother’s gotta have “me” time! With your hands full with twins, how do you pamper yourself?

DNK: I have a friend who is a hair stylist, so I used to request her to come home and do my hair when the twins were newborns. Another friend who runs her own salon also used to send one of her girls to my house to work on my nails –manicures and pedicures. When the twins reached three months, we started going out for lunch and swimming on Saturday’s for about 3 hours. But today at least I can spend a whole day out of the house and attend to my pampering needs.

 

MT: What is the best part about having twins?

DNK: I am still so excited about them as they bring us so much joy into my life that I can’t put into words. I love it when they play together, when they hold on tight to me… and I know they also love me so much too. I can tell so because when I hold them they play with me and laugh loudly. They also follow me everywhere in the house with their baby walkers.

MT: The most challenging thing about having twins?

DNK: Admittedly, twins are an expensive affair. You can imagine the pampers, formula milk, househelps, vaccines….They also require a lot of attention and time so they must be with someone throughout. But I tell you God never provides where there is no need. That we can testify to.

MT: Has their father been of help?

DNK: He has been very helpful I don’t know what I would ever have done without him. When pregnant he prepared my favorite meals, ensured I religiously took my supplements, ironed both his clothes and mine, and made sure I had everything I needed and that I was comfortable throughout my pregnancy. When I delivered, he was the first one to arrive at the hospital each morning and the last to leave in the evening. While on paternity leave, he helped a lot with the twins, especially at night. He is a very hands-on person and used to accompany us for the twins’ vaccinations and hold the babies as they received their jabs. But above all, he is a very understanding man and did not move out of our bedroom to the couch like some men do when there are newborns in the home. I understand that many men make the living room their bedroom, with the housegirl moving into the master bedroom and sleeping on the floor as they assist the new mum during the night.

MT: Has being a mother changed you? If yes, how?

DNK: It definitely has. I am more responsible now, and I work twice as hard knowing that I have dependants. I have also learnt to spend my time more wisely so that I can maximize time with my family. While we previously led carefree lives with my husband – going out every weekend, taking frequent out-of-town trips and spending without much worry, nowadays we cannot do that as we have to watch our budget. We have decided to take it slow until the twins are about two years old, when we can take them to their grandparents’ for a weekend as we make time for ourselves. I must confess that I miss the getaway trips my husband and I used to take together, as well as the quiet moments we had at home. Today the house is abuzz with activity and we have had to adjust accordingly.

MT: How did you handle visitors who wanted to see the babies in the early days?

DNK: We asked our friends to wait until the girls were three months old. This is because the twins were born earlier than their due date and the doctor had advised so because they were vulnerable to infections. In the first month, only three people had access to the girls – me, their father and the boarder housegirl. When we explained the situation to relatives and friends, they understood. It paid off because they never got sick until they were 4 months old.

MT: Have you gone back to work? If yes how was the separation?

DNK: I went back to work after three months and it was very difficult being away from them. I used to dash home every 3 hours just because I missed them so much and because I had to express milk anyway. Thank God my work place is a 10 minute walk from the house.

Do you have interesting motherhood experiences? Do you have a unique story to tell? If you would like to share your tales in this blog, you can get in touch with me on engage@mummytales.com

How Nairobi Mums are all Closely Networked

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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18

Women in Nairobi continue to intrigue me by how interconnected they are, how information spreads like a wild fire, and where referrals are the order of the day. What I have come to enjoy recently is how networked mothers in Nairobi are.

When I was pregnant, whoever I told I was expecting would immediately, after congratulating me, tell me about this amazing website that I needed to check out asap. The website would give me detailed information about my week-by-week pregnancy development. Baby Center was on the lips of almost every mother I came across. The ladies don’t know each other but somehow, they were also told about the site by mothers before them.

Then as my pregnancy progressed, I wondered where I would shop for my little one’s clothes. So I asked mothers around me. And once again, the chorus from different mothers from different walks of life who do not even know each other were the same.

“If you want good quality clothes, then go to Toi market,” they said, giving me directions to a particular kibanda that sells good quality children’s clothes. These mothers even told me exactly which day and at what time I should be at the kibanda to witness the opening of the bales to allow me select ‘camera’. For those of you who don’t know, Toi market is an open air market in Kibera that sells second hand stuff. And when I went to the market, I was so jazzed. Just like me, there were dozens of pregnant women all eagerly waiting for the bales to be opened. After engaging in small talk with a few of them, I discovered that they, just like me, had been referred to that market by fellow mums.

Moving on, I asked different mothers where I could get more baby stuff such as shawls, towels, a Moses basket and other such like stuff, they all referred to a particular shop on Biashara street. That the street is laden with so many shops selling baby stuff, but there is this one particular shop that seemed to be common on the lips of mums. How all these women seem to have the same responses continued to baffle me. My pal Miss Babes even told me: “Which mother in this town doesn’t know that shop?” and you should have seen her facial expression as she said so. It was a ‘duh!’ expression.

Then, when I delivered, I was advised to take lots of hot liquids, especially porridge. And there went the mothers again saying:

“There is this shop on Kirinyaga road that sells all different varieties of porridge flour. Just tell them you are a breastfeeding mother and they’ll prepare the unga for you…”

Then, there are a couple of women who have referred me to ‘this particular lactation expert’ to help out with any breastmilk/breastfeeding woes I may be having. Four different unrelated ladies have all told me about this woman who teaches new mothers on the basics of breastfeeding, and answers all their questions regarding the issue. They have all given me her number. At first I thought it was different women, but when I looked at the cell phone number they gave, it was for the same lady. I didn’t even know that ‘lactatians’ exist (for that is what she is called), but turns out they do.

Turns out that women in Nairobi are truly networked. Give a good service to one and they’ll be sure to spread the word about your good job. No need to spend thousands in advertizing for they will do it for you. And trust me, they will do a superb job.

But woe unto you if you give a bad service or product. Like I said, word among Nairobi’s women, and in this case Nairobi’s mothers spreads like a wild fire. Let me not start on the hospitals I was told to avoid like the plague if I wanted to have a safe delivery and if my baby and I were to leave the hospital healthy. Or which doctor to avoid. Or the shops that sell bad quality clothes yet cost an arm and a leg.

All the same, I love how networked Nairobi mummies are, and I am glad to have recently joined this network. I have already done my fair share of referrals to many moms-to-be. So any product or service you may need, I will only be too happy to share my opinion or experience and make a referral if necessary.

Have you made a similar observation? See other mum’s comments below.

The Day I Had an Anxiety Attack!

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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2

So Kitty has kept the hubby and I awake for the last two nights. On some days he is colic and on other days he isn’t. The past two days have been the epitome of his colic. Yesterday but one, he cried three-quarters of the night, leaving the hubby and I exhausted trying to soothe him. Each time we managed to get him to sleep, he would be awake crying 5-10 minutes later. That night we kissed the little sleep we usually manage goodbye.

Come yesterday morning, he was still upset. When the hubby left for work, I was fretful seeing as I was gonna deal with the crying fits by my lonesome. To say I was EXHAUSTED would be an understatement. I was frustrated, sleepy, tired, overwhelmed and all things miserable. Hard as I tried, I could not manage to catch a few winks of sleep as he remained inconsolable all day long.

So you can imagine my relief when the hubby came home in the evening. He took over with Kitty as I attended to other urgent things around the house that I had not managed to do during the day. e.g take a shower.

Kitty still remained upset all evening long, frustrating the living chickens out of us. It was only after giving him a feed at around midnight that he finally became restful and I happily put him to sleep. But two minutes later, he began crying again and the repeated cycle began. Thirty minutes later, he was still very upset. Now, this basically means that I had not slept for a whole 24 hours. When his cries began getting worse, I woke the hubby up so that he could help out. It was while the hubby was waking up from his slumber that all hell broke loose.

All I remember was turning to the wall, burying my head in my hands and sobbing uncontrollably. I felt my body shaking and hard as I tried to get a grip on myself, I could not. Surprised and confused by the sudden turn of events, the hubby asked me what was wrong, and in between incoherent sobs I told him:

“I just want to sleep for 30 minutes only! Just 30 minutes!”

To which the hubby immediately ordered me to sleep. Which, like a robot, I instantly did.

The hubby was later to tell me that he got shocked by my unforeseen action. He says I without warning began shaking like a leaf in a raging storm, crying and uttering gibberish like someone possessed by evil spirits. Turns out that my cries were louder than the piercing yells of the baby. Ohh dear, I would hate to imagine what he was going through. A colic baby and a colic wife!

When the hubby ordered me to sleep, I did not give a damn about anything after that. I badly and selfishly NEEDED to sleep, for I felt like I was losing my sanity and was on the verge of going bonkers. Sad to say that at that particular moment, I just needed to be away from Kitty.

Once I hit the pillow, I immediately drifted off to la la land and blacked out till early morning. The hubby took care of Kitty until I woke up, thankfully refreshed.

Those were quite some gloomy moments I was having, and it was only a matter of time before something gave in. I thank God many times over for the hubby.

Is expressing breastmilk supposed to be this hard?

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
-
9

So the hubby and I got invited to this lunch Sunday afternoon. A family friend from Coast had recently married and was now throwing a lunch for his friends. The thought of the Swahili dishes made me salivate, and I had been drooling all week long thinking of how I was going to devour the food. Coastarians really know how to make good food I tell you. Seeing as I’m a lactating mother, I am subjected to eating ndumas, ngwacis, njahis, porridge and such kinds of nutritious foods all day long. They don’t taste great at all, but they are nutritious all the same. The prospect of eating sumptuous Swahili food was all too exciting for me. And besides, all week long, I am in the house doing baby-related stuff and talking baby talk, so any chance to be outdoors and interact with adults is a eureka moment for me.

Since Kitty feeds every 1.5 hours, we needed to have a system where he would still feed while I was away, because we didn’t expect to be back home soon. I had earlier bought this breast pump at a cost of Ksh 550, the kind that has this sorta rubber knob/ball at the base (it looks like the horn of a blackmamba bicycle), the one that you have to keep squeezing for it to ‘suck’ the milk out of the breast through the nipple.

The lunch was at 1pm and we intended to leave the house at 12.30 pm. So at around 11am, we began working on my breast and the pump. With two feeding bottles ready to be filled, and with my milk supply being generally good, we figured the process of pumping milk would take about fifteen minutes.

Since it was our first time to use the pump, we inevitably encountered some challenges. For starters, placing the mouth of the pump at the breast and ensuring there was no air getting into the pump was not easy. Then now came the real work – manually expressing the milk. I squeezed and squeezed the knob/ball hard, releasing it after every squeeze allowing for enough pressure to extract the milk. Three minutes later, my hand was so tired so I asked the hubby to take over. Because he has eaten more obusuma than me and has more strength, the pumping/squeezing was naturally less difficult. So he squeezed and pumped. He squeezed and pumped some more. Then squeezed and pumped again. We took turns squeezing and pumping the milk out and because time was moving fast, we acted in haste. I didn’t want to arrive late lest I find the Swahili food was over.

It was after 40 minutes of squeezing and pumping that we decided to take a break. And when we looked at what we had finally collected, we were shocked. It was no more than a quarter of a teaspoon! ONLY! Imagine, after all that hard work. How now?

I tell you, there is nothing more frustrating than expressing breastmilk. Atleast in my experience. The hubby and I had both expected that the milk would come out flowing as it usually does when Kitty is feeding, but shock on our poor selves. Just some whitish substance that looked more like water than milk was coming out. It is this water-milk substance that filled a quarter of a teaspoon. Ohh dear.

So we tried again, with more determination this time. But by then, my breasts were aching, I was tired and so frustrated I didn’t want to try anymore. Sadly, I had to stay home as the hubby went for the lunch, leaving me to eat my usual meal of njahis and soup for lunch.

This expressing business clearly is not as easy as I thought. Right now I’m beginning to panic as I think of my return to work after my maternity leave ends. I intend to breastfeed Kitty exclusively for 6 months, but I’m wondering if I’ll now be able to, what with collecting a quarter of a teaspoon of milk in 40 minutes. If I do the math, it means I will fill a feeding bottle in December! Gosh!

How do other mothers do it? Is the problem with the pump, my breasts, the squeezing procedure or what? If anyone out there has any advice on expressing breastmilk, please let me know coz right now I’m at a loss of what to do.

This milking business is proving to be abit too difficult. *Sigh and shaking my head in misery.*

image: dreamstime.com

I’m back after downloading

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
-
4

I don’t know where to start because my mind seems to be in a miasma of fog-like-status (I learnt the word miasma from PLO Lumumba:-). This mind of mine has been like so for about two weeks now. So I don’t quite know what to write, but I will allow my fingers to flow as the spirit leads.

Now, I have been missing in action for the last two weeks, as you may or may not have noticed. This is because I had gone to the ‘garage’ to download. My little one decided to come 2 weeks earlier, which was all good as I was more than ready for him. So for the two weeks I have been away, I have been overwhelmingly consumed by baby matters. I’m not too sure what happens in the adult world anymore. But I hear the fuel prices have gone up. Grrrr. And I hear Bessigye is being beaten left right and center, his eyes are being sprayed with pili pili and that he is being huddled into the back of a Mahindra as though he were the carcass of a swine. Banange!

So anyway, due to medical issues, I was unable to have a normal birth and had to undergo a CS. Truth be told, I had kinda expected that. Why so? Because even before my pregnancy, actually even way before I had ever thought of settling down (when I was a hot, young spring chicken:-), everyone had ‘prophesied’ so. Their conclusion purely based on my height and my shoe size. I am 4’11 tall and wear a shoe size 36. Sometimes it’s a size 35. Many times I am told to get my shoes from the ‘bubble gummers’ section of Bata:-(.

I guess you might be thinking that I shouldn’t have listened to what other people projected about my birthing abilities (or disabilities) because they are not doctors. They are just your normal Kenyans – a people who have an expert opinion on everything. But then again, I for many years worked at a reproductive health organization that had all sorts of medical professionals – gynecologists, doctors, clinicians, midwives, nurses, lab technicians etcetera etcetera, and they all concluded that I would not be able to have a normal delivery. I could not have easily dismissed their conclusions, more so when they used medical jargon on me, complete with and anatomical diagrams/illustrations for more effect.

So maybe in my mind I had already resigned myself to a CS. But throughout my pregnancy, I investigated more about both types of births and convinced myself that I could manage a normal delivery.

So at week 36, I went for an ultrasound which showed that the baby was weighing 3.2kg’s. Now, when you are 4’11’ tall, wear a shoe size 35/36/bubble gummers and are told that your impending baby already weighs that much at week 36 -with an additional month to go, then maybe you need to seriously re-think that normal birth. Anyway, the following week, at week 37 I underwent a pelvic examination where I was informed that my pelvic bones were inadequate to deliver a baby that size.

Though not surprising, I don’t know why, but this news disappointed me. Maybe its because I had convinced myself that I would manage a normal delivery. But the downtrodden feeling didn’t last long, for I said a prayer thanking God for bringing me thus far. And either way, as long as mother and baby were going to be healthy after the delivery, I decided I was not going to stress myself over it.

So on Sunday 17th April at 2.47pm, my little bundle of joy, Kitty, was born. Kitty makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes me cry too. Many many tears. I will tell you more about our laugh-cry relationship in the days to come. For now, please join me in thanking God for his blessings.

Feeling very lazy today

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
-
0

Today is one of those days I am feeling like doing nothing at all. In the morning, I didn’t feel like opening my eyes, didn’t feel like getting out of bed, didn’t feel like brushing my teeth nor taking a shower. I just wanted to do nothing at all but gaze at the ceiling.

But I had to get up and go to work.

Right now I don’t know whether I feel like lying down and sleeping, walking, sitting, or just plain standing with my hands akimbo. Infact I feel like doing neither of the above. I don’t feel like talking, don’t feel like remaining silent, I don’t even feel like hearing anything at all. I just feel like staring at my colleagues and trying to get into their minds and peeking into their thoughts.

What’s more, I don’t feel like breathing through my nose. What I feel like doing is opening my mouth wide open and breathing through it. I’m in quite a lousy mood I must say. I wonder for how long it will last.

Maybe it has to do with this flu that has plagued me for about a week and which has drained/is draining all my energy. I don’t even feel like blowing my runny nose, I just want to let the fluids freely flow then see what happens.

But thankfully, the only thing I feel like doing and which I have not had a problem with all morning is snacking on several bites. That I am enjoying immensely.

Tale of the Dark Feet, part 2

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
-
0

So back to the tale of the dark feet. Here is the link to part 1, incase you missed it https://mummytales.com/my-body/tale-of-the-dark-feet/.

The hubby did indeed agree to scrub my feet, and so one day he assembled the basin, the soap, the scrubbing stone, the scented oil and the towel, then embarked on the feet mission. But enjoy the experience is something he did NOT do at all. Judging from his facial expressions, I don’t know what it is about the scrubbing he didn’t like, all I could do was keep feeling sorry for him as he did so. Meanwhile, I was thoroughly enjoying myself. Getting a foot scrub really is a very nice experience to have.

Now, I can only speculate on what might have been making the whole experience an unhappy one for the hubby.

First, he may have wondered how on earth he would be able to get them feet clean and to their original color of luscious pink, just like they were when we first met. Ohhh well, I’m carrying his baby so touché.

Then maybe it’s because he was not perched comfortably in a way that would have made the feet scrubbing experience easier – like they do in the beauty parlors. He was in a squatting position while I was seated comfortably on the couch. Yeah, I guess even though he is ‘somewhat’ fit, squatting for over half an hour while scrubbing ashen feet is no easy task even for the fittest of sportsmen.

Or maybe it is because he kept say

 

ing ‘men don’t do this kind of thing’, insinuating that some tasks are best left for the female folk. Might be some truth there, because among my worst nightmares is when my car is due for service or there is some rattling noise or leakage indicating it and it needs a visit to the garage. At such times I usually have recurring nightmares and hotsweats just thinking of the trip to the garage. That happened a lot before I got married, when I used to make trips to the garage (with a very snorted face) and while seated on an old dirty creaky greasy bench surrounded by greasy, loud mechanics waiting for them to fix whatever was wrong with the car, I used to curse beneath my breath saying ‘women are not supposed to do this kind of thing’. Not anymore now, thanks to the hubby who sorts out my car woes.

So anyhoo, the hubby did indeed return the lovely color and shine back to my feet, which made me very happy. By the way, Jesus said that the greatest act of humility is that of washing someone else’s feet. So let’s just say that the hubby is a good Christian, and I hope that being the good Christian that he has shewn himself to be, he will continue to perform his Christian duties every so often:-)

15 Widely Believed African Myths and Superstitions on Pregnancy

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
-
4

This is my first pregnancy, and if there is a time in my life I have received loads of advice (unsolicited) than ever before, it is now. Sometimes I feel as though I have an information overload. Why? Because as soon as someone learns I’m pregnant, then their ‘expert advice’ gushes out fast and furious. For some reason, every woman I continue to meet -mother or not, seems to have strong views about pregnancy and motherhood -based either on experience, rumor, or imagination.

As an expectant mother -and a first time one at that, it is always very confusing as I am not too sure who or what to believe. Some of the things I have been told are quite interesting, as you can see below:

1. If I am experiencing lots of heartburn, then my baby will be born with loads of hair.

2. If I drink cold water, my baby will be born with pneumonia, asthma or some other such lung problems.

3. If my skin is glowing, and my hair is all nice and shiny, then it’s a girl.

4. If I have developed a rough face, a big nose and I am darker in complexion, then it’s a boy.

5. If my tummy is really huge and I’m carrying the baby low, it’s a boy.

6. If my cravings are for ugali, fish and sukuma wiki, it’s a boy. If they are for icecream, chocolate, burgers and chips, it’s a girl.

7. I have also heard that a pregnant woman should not accept any gifts (such as those from a baby shower) before the birth of the child, as some jealous women (especially childless ones or those who secretly envy her husband) may offer her a gift that has been cursed, a curse which will then be transferred to the child. That some women cast evil spells on the unborn baby through such gifts.

8. I’ve heard that a pregnant woman should not celebrate the baby until it’s born. That apparently, doing so will invite the wrath of the ancestors. As a result, the child will either be born dead or deformed.

9. Short women are not capable of having vaginal births. Automatic caesarean section it is for them.

10. African women with wide hips always have an easy delivery with not a single tear.

11. That eating lots of fish while pregnant will result in my baby being an intelligent child who will always top his/her class.

12. Itching and scratching your belly a lot during pregnancy means the baby is hairy.

13. That if you like watching romantic movies during pregnancy means you’re having a girl. Apparently watching horror and action movies means you’re having a boy.

14. Eating spicy food means the baby will be born with red or very brown hair.

15. During labor, everything around the woman must be ‘loosened’ so as not to block the passage of the baby through the cervix. Shoelaces, watches, ties, necklaces and windows must be opened otherwise the baby will refuse to come out until it feels the environment outside is ‘free enough’ for them to make their arrival. Okay.

So that’s what I’ve heard. So far. Now, what to believe and what not to? Which other ones have you heard of that I haven’t?

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Photo: molly’s maternity wear

My increasing memory deficiencies

By
Maryanne W. Waweru
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3

I have noticed lately that my memory is not up to par. I keep forgetting to do things, or I keep forgetting what I am supposed to do. Many are the times I have walked into a room and forgotten what I had gone there for in the first place. Then I always forget where I have placed my handbag, my phone, my keys…I never used to be this forgetful before. It is a recent development which started about three weeks ago.

Take last Sunday for example. Seeing as it is the beginning of the month, the house shopping had to be done. So I threw on a tee and some leggins, then removed my house slippers and slipped on my favorite Maasai sandals. And off to the shopping store I went.

Only for me to realize a few minutes later that I had one blue house slipper and on the other foot was the Maasai sandal! For an extended moment I gazed at my feet and shook my head, wondering if I was going crazy or not. I was absolutely sure that I had removed the house slippers and slipped on the Maasai sandals – on both feet! But clearly not.

So I contemplated returning to the house (which would have been tooooooooooooo much work – driving back to the house, parking the car, climbing stairs, opening the door, climbing down the stairs again, starting the car again…etcetera etcetera in the hot midday sun by the way). Either that or I proceed with my shopping errand, hoping no one would notice my peculiar shoe adornments. I happily opted for the latter. Besides, who will dare ask a pregnant woman why she has different shoes on her feet?

 

But it turns out I had underestimated people’s keen eye for detail. It being a Sunday, there were many other shoppers in the store. And yes, many of them did cast curious glances at my feet. Most interesting though was kids, who, in their innocence, just cannot hide their observations. I noticed two kids pointing at my feet and laughing. I laughed with them:-).

Anyway, that is just one of the many forgetful or memory loss episodes I have been having of late. The other day I was stuck in traffic and had posed the car on neutral. But when the traffic began moving, I was at a total loss of what I was supposed to do next. What gear was I supposed to engage? How was I supposed to get the car to move? My car is automatic, and for a full minute and a half I was like a zombie – staring at the gear box wondering exactly what I was to do. Yet driving is something I have done over the years, but at that particular moment, all those gears – 1, 2, 3,D, N, R and P looked like scary foreign gizmos to me.

In that temporary blank moment, I began sweating like crazy, hoping those nasty traffic cops would not come running towards me with their rungus in the air and ‘beat’ my car for halting traffic. But poor me simply could not figure out how I was supposed to get the car to move forward.

Meanwhile, our lovely Kenyan drivers kept hooting at me and flashing their lights, ordering me to move, perhaps cursing me out too. But why are Kenyan drivers such an impatient lot of people by the way? But that’s a story for another day.

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