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Things Not to Say to a Woman Who Has Just Lost a Baby


Fellow blogger Wanjiru Kihusa of A Better You was bold enough to share her experience about losing her pregnancy at 20 weeks earlier this year. Her baby was due in March 2014. Today, Wanjiru is still coping with the grief of losing her first child Leila.

Since she lost her baby, Wanjiru continues to receive words of comfort and encouragement from many people. However, there are those who have said very insensitive things to her. Though well-meaning and said quite innocently, some ‘words of comfort’ have cut like a sharp razor.

From the experience of losing her baby, Wanjiru joined a support group where she continues to interact with other women who have similarly lost babies, and she has put together some statements that were said to them that were really inappropriate, and should never ever be told to someone who has just lost a baby.

One lady got told: “Your womb has so many eggs –you will give birth until you get tired.”

Another was told: “That baby was not yours, you will get another one.”

One woman lost two pregnancies in a span of one year, and the second time people were quick to ask her why she was rushing to have another baby, kwani kuna compe? (Is it a competition?).

Another lady was told that “God takes away babies with imperfections early enough, so you should actually be grateful.”

Her piece is very informative and I have learnt quite a lot from it, that we should learn to be more sensitive about the utterances that come from our lips. I hope it will do the same for you.

You can read Wanjiru’s complete post on this issue here.

Have a blessed week.



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Maryanne W. Waweru is a Kenyan mum raising her two sons in Nairobi. A journalist, Maryanne is passionate about telling stories and hopes that through her writing, her readers learn something new, feel encouraged, inspired, and appreciative of what they have in their lives. Maryanne's writing focuses on motherhood, women and lifestyle. "Telling stories is the only thing I know how to do," she says.


  1. thanks for speaking for me.That part for when grieving it is THIS ONE I want is so true.What hurts most is when people assume there’s nothing to grieve when one loses a pregnancy since you haven’t met the baby.What they don’t know is that from the beginning it is a journey of love with your new found love and when that beautiful journey is cut short it hurts like crazy.


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