Hello friends. So today, I share the story of Deborah Nafula, who is mom to a 7-year-old beautiful daughter. Deborah, from Bungoma county, talks about being raised in a Christian home with supportive parents, falling unexpectedly pregnant while in her first year of campus, the difficult moments when her parents got to learn about her pregnancy, and how her journey as a single young mom has been. This is Part One of Deborah’s story.
“I’m the last-born child in a family of seven children. I love spending time with my mum and during our bonding time together, she often shares her experiences as a mom. She talks of the happy moments she had holding us in her arms, as well as the difficult times she went through raising us. I always enjoy listening to my mum’s stories.
We are blessed to have dad who has always also been of great support and played his role in our lives. He is a religious leader and together with my mum, they raised us well, teaching us the word of God and life skills. They helped us understand that the power of making choices lies in our hands.
As a young girl, I always dreamt of raising a beautiful family. Being the last born, I was a little bit spoiled and was showered with all the best things I wanted.
Finding out I was Pregnant
I joined university and while there, I got into a relationship with a great guy whom I had dated for almost two years. Towards the end of the second semester of the first year, I started feeling changes in my body: the symptoms resembled those of a pregnancy, but I was too scared to think about it.
After a week full of worries, I decided to see a doctor. As I sat there waiting for results, I remember them calling out several names until I was the only one at the waiting bay. I could feel the weight of what was coming ahead.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine” are the words I remember the doctor saying to me.
At that moment, my mind went blank, as I felt the whole world come crushing down on me. It was one of my lowest points.
Meanwhile, my parents would often call me –as they regularly did, reminding me of how much they loved me and couldn’t wait to see me when I came home for the holidays. What they didn’t know is that deep down I was hurting as I felt I had let them down.
Breaking the News to my Parents
In the two weeks before closing day, I struggled with thoughts about what I would do. Thankfully, my best friend Barbara was by my side, encouraging me to be strong about my decision to go home and face my parents.
When I arrived home, my mum immediately noticed the changes in me; both the physical and the new quiet and reserved me. Finally, we had to talk; she only wanted my confirmation about what she was already suspecting. When I did, I saw how disappointed she was…
Of course, she shared her feelings and counseled me. She also took it upon herself to break the news to my dad. It broke his heart. Our talk was similar to that I’d had with my mum. He appreciated my bold step of accepting my responsibility and willingness to get through it. I’m grateful that my entire family was ready to help me get through it.
Dad Speaks about my Pregnancy at the Pulpit
One Sunday morning, my parents requested me to accompany them to church. I wasn’t very sure about it as I still wished to have some more time. But I went and when we got there, my heart was so heavy. I held on through the service until the time when my dad stepped onto the pulpit and called out for me. I stood beside him as he gave a speech that was my turning point and new hope.
I will quote some lines from his speech:
“This is my daughter, of whom we are all aware of her situation. Yes, she is a preacher’s child now facing a challenge. What we forget is that this preacher is a parent like any other who is raising children going through challenges like any other children in the world. Every parent in this planet wants the best for their children, and these children sometimes make wrong choices. But as parents, when our children make a mistake, let us help them get back up on their feet and correct these mistakes. We rebuke the mistake and guide them to step up no matter who you are or what you do. Our daughter has accepted her responsibility and as her parents we will offer her our full support.”
After my dad spoke, I felt so relieved! At that moment, my heart opened up and I was ready to start my journey with confidence.
My family was very supportive, especially my mum and my inseparable sister. Even though she was away at the university, she always checked on me and encouraged me each day, assuring me of her support.
My mum would ensure I ate well throughout my pregnancy, went for my antenatal clinics and gave me counseling.
My boyfriend would check on me at times when he had time. I still went through tough moments where I cried and felt overwhelmed because I couldn’t tell what was waiting for me ahead. But I was always comforted by the most beautiful sound I ever heard – my child’s heartbeat in my womb. It would give me total peace.
Read Part Two of Deborah’s story HERE.
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