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Confessions of a First Time Pregnant Woman

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My friend and fellow journalist Wambui Ndonga recently shared some of her thoughts as a first time expectant mom here. She is seven months pregnant, and her sentiments are those that I’m sure many pregnant women share, and for those of us who are moms, they are feelings that we all had at some point. This is what she wrote: 

1. Whatever you do, don’t stare at my bump. It’s rude and creepy. And I understand you’re curious and have all these questions, but if you want to find out how to get a baby bump, please google. Google is your friend.

2. Do not stretch out your hand to rub my belly. Quite frankly that creeps my baby out- he goes like ‘bleeeergh’. Baby-bump rubbing is reserved for close friends and family. And no we are not close friends if we suffer awkward silence after two minutes of conversation.

3. Do not remind me how big I’ve become. I am not big; elephants are big! I just have this three-kilo baby growing in my womb. Besides weight is a sensitive topic and I’m still every bit the self conscious woman.

Also Read: What Foods Should a Pregnant Woman Eat? What About Liver?

4. Do not point out the zits on my face. Just so you know I own a mirror so I noticed them way before I bumped into you. In fact I wish they consulted me before positioning themselves on my forehead to save me from the morning scare.

5. Do not ask me how far along I am in my pregnancy. I know I look like I’m about to pop 11 little babies anytime now, but I’m only two months pregnant and it sucks to be reminded of how heavy I look despite having seven more months to go.

6. Don’t tell me that I eat too much. The Doctor says I have to gain about 12 kilos (or thereabout) to have a healthy baby plus I like indulging in food. Life’s little pleasures.

7. If you got to learn about my pregnancy through the photos I posted on Facebook, do not confront me about it. Those who deserve to know already know. Trust me it’s nothing personal really; don’t take offense. We’re just not that close.

Also Read: Is there Any Harm in Pregnant Women Eating Stones and Other Non-Food Items?

8. If you’re going to speculate about my baby daddy because I’m not married yet, at least have some class. Engage me in some pointless banter and I just might tell you. At least we know a man was involved.

9. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is talk about my pregnancy. I’ve told that story so many times, I think it’s time I reserved the questions for my little one. I am not a pregnancy ninja. Again don’t take offense if I ignore you. Just smile and wave.

10. So you’ve noticed that I walk like someone with crabs. I’ve become quite heavy as you have most definitely noticed so walking like I’m on the runway has become an impossible task. So many forces including gravity are working against me right now. Be so kind as to understand.

11. Don’t hate on me if I wear high heels despite looking like a python that swallowed a football. It’s really none of your business. I wasn’t planning on having a natural delivery anyway and if you’re so concerned about me breaking my back, just tell me. Your sneers won’t do the trick.

But by all means go ahead and open that door for me, pull out a seat for me or give me way. Such little mercies go a long way in making my journey and that of my little one quite enjoyable.”

I absolutely loved Wambui’s piece!! Did you too?

*Wambui’s confessions were originally published on Capital FM.

Also Read: Ginger Helps Reduce Morning Sickness in Pregnancy

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Article source: Capital FM.

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19 COMMENTS

  1. I could hug you wambui right now…you have hit the nail on the head kabisa 🙂 yaani people have no clue you have a lot to deal with being a human incubator without them poking their noses where they do not belong 🙂 hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe….great piece WORD! AM SHARING IT!

  2. Hahaha @Mama Ajani my thoughts exactly. I confess to being guilty of touching belly’s though -especially those that are very round and not too big. The worst thing is that I hated when that was done to me, but I somehow found myself doing so yesterday to a colleague of mine. I’ve now stopped that behaviour.

  3. I knew ma sis must write i.e. Mama Ajani hahahaha…….Msijali, kuteseka ni kwa muda. Alafu they scare you about kuzaa and housegirls.

  4. Girl you’re quite a writer, and a committed one for that. The staring-at-the-bump part was hilarious. I don’t understand why older men, especially, just forget everyone is watching and stare with awe at the bulging tummy. I loved to surprise many of them with an unexpected ‘hi’ and the look on their face would instantly change. Busted!

  5. @Shiro Divaa sure better things are usually in store. @AnneSoy thanks (and by the way love your stories too:-). Yes some of these men -if they’re not staring at your BIG tummy when pregnant, they’re staring at your BIG boobs courtesy of breastfeeding. Aaiihhh, surely!

  6. I’m not a mum and will never be but I’m sure to learn one or two things about motherhood that will make me understand my future wife when in this phase of life.

  7. @Odhiambo it’s refreshing to read a comment by a man here:-). Oh, and we always need the support of our partners when going through the motherhood journey so I’m sure you’ll offer some good support to your future wife. Best wishes.

  8. Thank you so much for the positive feedback ladies and man. Yes, I read all of them 🙂 and I’m glad you got the humor and seriousness of the post.

  9. The only thing i can say is people don’t do these things out of malice (ok, some do)… just remember that n u wil enjoy ur pregnancy. Otherwise u will live obsessing over things that people don’t realize piss you off. And also, its fascinating to see a pregnant woman coz she is carrying a life inside her… its the fascination that makes people ask all these questions. Oh, i can almost bet the people who obsess like that are mostly mums.. akina Maryanne and me… coz we know (pretend to know) how special pregnant mums are!!!!

    I love the highheels one… i intend to rock them if God blesses me with a pregnancy soon. High heels and a mini skirt… hahahha… wamama in town will die. And you forgot how people always tell u that ur jeans are too tight… they are ‘pressing’ the baby!!!! The baby will be born with a bump on the head… hahaha… women are too much!!!

  10. hahahhaha this is hilarious and on point! am not showing yet but the questions about weight gain! aaargh! atleast av learned some pretty witty answers…. hehehehehehh thanks

  11. I can’t complain about people staring coz I’m one of those people who rock their pregnancies – I wear clothes that clearly show I’m pregnant but DO NOT touch my belly! that’s my personal space.

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