I’m in a number of Facebook groups that have thousands of Kenyan moms. And I take note that there are many women suffering abuse from their spouses and boyfriends, in silence. Interestingly, more and more women are beginning to talk about their suffering. They are coming out to do so, even though most are doing so under pseudo’s. Which is fine because this is significant. It is important to say something. It is a first step. A first step to something.
These are beautiful women tormented in marriages and in ‘complicated relationships’. They are staying put because of ‘what society will say’. Staying put ‘because of the kids’. Staying put ‘because he’s an amazing dad’. Staying put ‘because I’ve invested too much work in this marriage to just walk out’. Staying put ‘because I wouldn’t know where to start (he provides everything). Staying put ‘because when he doesn’t drink alcohol he’s a very good man’. Staying put ‘because I have my flaws and no one else can love me the way he does…
I know a number of women in these situations. And I’m sure you also know one or two or three women suffering an abusive relationship. And the question we always ask is: “Why don’t you just leave?” When we learn of another woman suffering in an abusive relationship, we ask: “Why doesn’t she just leave?” And when she dies we ask, “Why didn’t she just leave?”
On the blog next week, I’ll focus on the topic of intimate partner violence. And why she doesn’t just leave. Why she stays. #WhySheStays
If you are in an organization that addresses the issue of gender-based violence, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org with the organization’s details and how those suffering abuse can reach out for help.