Bobo was operated on but sadly, we lost her shortly thereafter. She was barely 10 months old. This to date remains the hardest and most painful experience I’ve ever gone through. Thinking about my daughter still pains me. I always wonder how my family life and dynamic would be like if she was still alive.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Georgia, thinking about the things she and her brother would be doing right now, and the kind of relationship they would have. I picture her running around the house. Each time I go shopping and see a pretty dress, I ache, wishing she was still alive so that I could just dot on her. Her death also helped me see things much more clearly; some relations were broken, while some were strengthened. I was able to identify my true friends and also learn so much about myself.
Life is interesting for as it were, I happened to have been 3 months pregnant when my dear Bobo died. My son Mwaniki was born 6 months later weighing 3.7 kgs. I must admit that he made the pain of losing his sister bearable. Even though we greatly miss Bobo, we are grateful to God for giving us a wonderful healthy baby boy who has filled our lives with sunshine and made us smile again.
Maryanne: What advice or tips would you give to a mom who has lost a child?
Liz: My advice to mums who might have experienced the loss of a child, is to be strong. Have faith, and know that only God knows the reason why some things happen, and He reveals it to us in his own time. Secondly, having someone to share your pain with and lean on also helps a lot. As a parent, you can never forget your child when they pass on. All we do is live each day at a time and eventually the pain will subside and we learn to live with the loss. A lady who was comforting me confided in me that she had also lost her son 23 years ago but till today, she still fondly reminisces about her son who passed away at the age of 20 years.
The truth of the matter is the gap our children leave in our lives when they pass away will never be filled by anyone or anything and only time helps ease the pain.
Maryanne: Has being a mom changed you in any way?
Liz: I believe that motherhood turned me into the best version of me. Previously, I used to be a very impatient person but now, I have learnt to give people and experiences chances to unfold, and surprisingly it has worked to my advantage.
Maryanne: Every mommy needs some ‘me time’ sometimes, just to relax and enjoy herself and get away from it all. Do you get such time, and if yes, how do you spend it?
Liz: I agree a hundred and one per cent, every mummy needs some me-time, in fact every person not just parents need that. Personally I get two opportunities to do that. In a week I get date night with my partner, on this day we just go out for dinner, a movie or just a walk. We chat about everything just get an opportunity to be alone. My second me-time now happens randomly, where I get to just go out either with friends or just shopping (I love shopping).
Maryanne: Thanks Liz for sharing your story with us.
Mummy Tales is a blog dedicated to creating awareness about maternal and child health, and other aspects of motherhood. It is all about sharing experiences as moms, learning from each other and encouraging each other. If you’d like to share your motherhood experience with fellow moms, write to: email@example.com
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