That night, I asked her the nurse to give me something to help me sleep. I slept and woke up the following morning to start the procedure. I was going to go into labour and I knew it would be painful. Yet, I didn’t see the sense of going through all that pain for me not to see my baby. So I asked for the most serious painkillers they had. Long story short, I don’t even know what drugs they gave me. I was talking to the table and was high the whole time. I only came to when it was time to push. That was easy because with one push my baby girl was out, not to be seen or heard, but to be remembered and cherished.
I’m sorry this is not a story with a happy ending. It’s not always a happy ending. But I thank God for healing my heart. Even if I still mourn my child, I always remember to thank God in all circumstances. The bible tells us that God has great plans for us. Plans for success and not for destruction. He goes on to tell us that He knew us before we were born. So this was not a surprise to God. He knew it would happen. God also tells us that he cannot give us situations that we cannot handle. I thank God my heart was healed even before I left the hospital. I thank Him because His plans are yes and Amen, and that in due time, at His time, which is always best, he will grant you the desires of your heart.
Losing a child is always hard. You always have to give people the story, which takes you back to your hurt. But I give it hoping it will help someone. That someone will be encouraged and will learn.
Fast forward, September 2015, I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. I never experienced any preeclampsia with this pregnancy, none at all. My pressure was stable all through. Indeed, God is faithful.”
Looking back at my preeclampsia experience, what would I have done differently?
If I were to turn back time, there are a couple of things I would have done differently:
- I would have seen a different doctor. The one I was seeing knew my blood pressure was high but yet did not do much about it.
- I should have also gone to a better-equipped hospital -one that has a neonatal ICU. Even Kenyatta National Hospital has one, and maybe my baby would have survived had I delivered there. I’ve heard so many success stories.
- I shouldn’t have ignored those friends who told me that the edema was not normal. But there’s so much that a first-time mum doesn’t know…
My Advice to Pregnant Women
- I will advise you to never ignore anything. Seek proper advice. In case of an emergency, go to a hospital you are sure will be able to handle anything. I know maternity costs are way up in Kenya, but when you imagine the worst-case scenario, you’ll be more comfortable if you knew you were in a hospital that can handle any sort of complication or emergency.
- Above all else, commit everything to God.
- In case you suffer loss, it takes time to heal, but don’t beat yourself over it.”
Thank you for sharing your insightful story with us Helen.
Are you a preeclampsia survivor, and would like to educate fellow women through your experience? Write to: email@example.com
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