Hi, hope your week is coming along well. So yesterday I promised you an article by Patricia Cidi Malika, a young wife who has been married for two years. You can read a little bit about her here. Today, Patricia shares her experience about how the entry of a baby into their marriage changed things a little bit.
This is her story:
“It had been two months since we last had a moment to ourselves. My husband had been so busy setting up his accounting firm and settling our debts. Me, I was engrossed in managing our baby, home and my business. We were both so busy trying to make ends meet, no one seemed to notice the other. We said the usual “I love you”, but truth be told, our active love had taken a back seat. Something had to be done.
I had to spark things up with my husband. I wasn’t going to settle for normal. One day, I asked the nanny to stay with our baby for an extra two hours so that hubby and I could go out. I made arrangements at a local restaurant and pre-ordered our favorite food to save on time. Convinced that the baby was fine and would be okay, hubby agreed to the dinner plan.
Actually, he too was happy to have this alone time with me. It had been a while since we went out. He wasn’t vocal with his praises but I knew I had hit a home run. It was a nice dinner. Food was served immediately we got there.
We talked about us, our baby, our faith, our dreams and goals and those sweet little things married folks like to talk about. His laughter reminded me of just how blessed I am to be his wife and mum to his little angel.
With a few years in marriage, I have realized that love and romance just doesn’t happen, especially in this busy life. We have to be intentional about it. We have to set priorities and practice active love. I know for sure that when children come, love tends to take a back seat, but it shouldn’t stay that way for too long.
To reignite the intimacy and love, you can try some of these ideas I got from a book by Lysa Terkeurst: The Bathtub is Overflowing but I feel Drained:
- Pray together – this is the key to keeping a family together.
- Go out on a date night once in a while.
- Write each other love notes.
- Decide on a dream vacation and start saving for it.
- Organize for a family photo shoot – the play and fun will take the stress away.
These little, yet powerful actions can help rekindle your love life. I personally believe that an active love life between you and your spouse is also beneficial to your children. Not only will they learn what true love looks like, but they will also benefit from your emotional balance and confidence.
All the best to us ladies as we thrive in this lifelong journey of learning to love like Christ – for that’s what marriage really is.” -END
And that’s Patricia’s story. Be on the lookout for more stories from her here on Mummy Tales. By the way do you have other tips that you believe would help other married women? You may share them in the comments section below. Meanwhile, you may also like to read Lorraine Onyango’s story here: “I Decided Early on in my Marriage that I Wasn’t Going to Try and be Superwoman”
Mummy Tales is an organization dedicated to empowering its readers on different aspects of womanhood and motherhood. Mummy Tales is the top Women & Girl Empowerment blog in Kenya (BAKE 2017 awards) and 2016 top Women & Girl Empowerment blog (African Blogger Awards). Read more motherhood experiences of Kenyan moms here.