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These People who Don’t Make Your Time Easier When You’re a New Mum!


Now, as a mom, and especially as a new mom, you receive all sorts of comments from people -those congratulating you, those wishing you well, those bringing you gifts and celebrating the birth of your newborn with you. People who basically make you feel so much better, especially for first time moms for who, those first few days and weeks can be tough -when you are so vulnerable and don’t know what you are or are not supposed to be doing and you keep second guessing yourself.

But then, there is this category of people who somewhat, with their comments make you feel so much worse and so doubtful of yourself than you already are. You know, those ones who tell you:

  • “The baby kept you up all night? Woiye.” And then they put this really sad face that makes you want to comfort them.
  • “Your eyes are so red, woiye you haven’t slept? Gosh and you also look so tired. You poor thing.” And then they proceed to hold their head in their hands.
  • “Your nipples are cracked and your boobs sore? Woiye that’s so sad.” And then they’re shaking their head from side to side.
  • “Baby has not pooped in four days? Woiye now what will you do?” And they have this ghastly look on their face that makes you start panicking.
  • “Ati nowadays you don’t had time to do your nails or make your hair? As in baby takes that much of your time?” And they actually look very shocked about it. Like duh!

I’m not saying such friends or relatives mean bad when they ask these questions. Not at all. Infact, most of them mean well. HOWEVER, they are full of so much pity for you, every single sentence they speak to you is so pityful, accompanied by a pity face. Even when they send you an SMS, they are sure to put a sad emoticon at the end:(.

I mean, how sorry can your situation be surely? It’s as though it’s so catastrophic, until you even start doubting yourself and thinking that it just might be.

Being a new mom is tough, and so you need all the support and encouragement you can get, not someone who is going to feel so much pity on you and your new baby, that you just want to cry. It can really drain you mentally and emotionally.

Did you encounter such people when you were a new mum? See also: 10 Things Not to Say to a New Mum

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Maryanne W. Waweru is a Kenyan mum raising her two sons in Nairobi. A journalist, Maryanne is passionate about telling stories and hopes that through her writing, her readers learn something new, feel encouraged, inspired, and appreciative of what they have in their lives. Maryanne's writing focuses on motherhood, women and lifestyle. "Telling stories is the only thing I know how to do," she says.


  1. I totally feel you on this. Mine were the know it all mothers who will trash everything you are doing and tell you that is not the best way. I have a paranoid Auntie, who, although well meaning, had a distrust for diapers and wipes. She kept insisting that I should not use diapers on my daughter as they are full of chemicals. Don’t even mention powder formulae. It took me a while before I could understand why she was so ‘traditional’. Having been brought up that way and raising her kids with everything naturally available, this whole idea of using manufactured items scared her.
    We laugh about it nowadays

  2. I totally feel njeri wangari….some would tell me ati leaving my son with his diaper on full time for long might affect his manhood etc etc..Others ooh you should add green bananas to all his foods,when i am buying clothes i should buy 2 sizes bigger then i fold if its a trouser, i shldnt let my newborns sleep on the own at night and the list is endless.It used to bother my soul but nowadays i click ignore coz i discovered even now and in the future it will still happen

  3. I have friends who play comparison games. “You mean your son is only 6kgs? Mine is only a month old and is already 6kgs!!” Really?

    • Ayayayaya I feel you Iddah. And it doesn’t stop when baby is months old. Even when they are teenagers some mums still say the same things to you smh.


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