I don’t know where to start because my mind seems to be in a miasma of fog-like-status (I learnt the word miasma from PLO Lumumba:-). This mind of mine has been like so for about two weeks now. So I don’t quite know what to write, but I will allow my fingers to flow as the spirit leads.
Now, I have been missing in action for the last two weeks, as you may or may not have noticed. This is because I had gone to the ‘garage’ to download. My little one decided to come 2 weeks earlier, which was all good as I was more than ready for him. So for the two weeks I have been away, I have been overwhelmingly consumed by baby matters. I’m not too sure what happens in the adult world anymore. But I hear the fuel prices have gone up. Grrrr. And I hear Bessigye is being beaten left right and center, his eyes are being sprayed with pili pili and that he is being huddled into the back of a Mahindra as though he were the carcass of a swine. Banange!
So anyway, due to medical issues, I was unable to have a normal birth and had to undergo a CS. Truth be told, I had kinda expected that. Why so? Because even before my pregnancy, actually even way before I had ever thought of settling down (when I was a hot, young spring chicken:-), everyone had ‘prophesied’ so. Their conclusion purely based on my height and my shoe size. I am 4’11 tall and wear a shoe size 36. Sometimes it’s a size 35. Many times I am told to get my shoes from the ‘bubble gummers’ section of Bata:-(.
I guess you might be thinking that I shouldn’t have listened to what other people projected about my birthing abilities (or disabilities) because they are not doctors. They are just your normal Kenyans – a people who have an expert opinion on everything. But then again, I for many years worked at a reproductive health organization that had all sorts of medical professionals – gynecologists, doctors, clinicians, midwives, nurses, lab technicians etcetera etcetera, and they all concluded that I would not be able to have a normal delivery. I could not have easily dismissed their conclusions, more so when they used medical jargon on me, complete with and anatomical diagrams/illustrations for more effect.
So maybe in my mind I had already resigned myself to a CS. But throughout my pregnancy, I investigated more about both types of births and convinced myself that I could manage a normal delivery.
So at week 36, I went for an ultrasound which showed that the baby was weighing 3.2kg’s. Now, when you are 4’11’ tall, wear a shoe size 35/36/bubble gummers and are told that your impending baby already weighs that much at week 36 -with an additional month to go, then maybe you need to seriously re-think that normal birth. Anyway, the following week, at week 37 I underwent a pelvic examination where I was informed that my pelvic bones were inadequate to deliver a baby that size.
Though not surprising, I don’t know why, but this news disappointed me. Maybe its because I had convinced myself that I would manage a normal delivery. But the downtrodden feeling didn’t last long, for I said a prayer thanking God for bringing me thus far. And either way, as long as mother and baby were going to be healthy after the delivery, I decided I was not going to stress myself over it.
So on Sunday 17th April at 2.47pm, my little bundle of joy, Kitty, was born. Kitty makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes me cry too. Many many tears. I will tell you more about our laugh-cry relationship in the days to come. For now, please join me in thanking God for his blessings.