In a post that I previously published about Editah Hadassa Trip, she, 10 years into her marriage with husband Ken Trip Okoye, remains hopeful that she will bear her own child someday. That she will become a mom. She is a ‘waiting womb’.
Through Editah and her online support group Waiting Wombs, I have come to learn of the different experiences that thousands of women facing infertility challenges go through. I have read their experiences, struggles, triumphs, and shed tears of pain and joy with them.
Now, when a few days to Mother’s Day, my timelines began filling up with Mother’s Day promotional messages, I couldn’t help but think of the women who yearn to become moms, but that hasn’t happened for them –yet. I found myself asking the question: How do women going through infertility challenges feel on Mother’s Day? A day when newspapers, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TV and radio, churches, restaurants, spa’s, WhatsApp groups… all go out in promoting the day, sometimes even commercializing it and giving attractive gifts to mothers only? What does Mother’s Day feel like for a ‘waiting womb’, when all she desires is to become a mom but it’s just not happening for her?
I didn’t have answers to that, so what I did is I reached out to Editah. Today, I share (with permission) responses to this question from different women who are ‘waiting wombs’ regarding this. Their identities are concealed.
- I celebrate my mum who has been my source of hope and encouragement. Despite having blocked tubes, she gives me hope that soon I’ll hold my baby.
- I have had beautiful souls in my life; my grandmother and aunt who took up the role of my mum when she passed on. So on Mother’s Day, I call them and thank them for their unwavering support, and continue to plead with God on my behalf and other families in the same predicament. I have learned not to question God and I often choose joy even in my lowest.
- I stay alone on that day, not wanting anyone to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. I often have so many questions in my heart.
- My husband and my mother-in-law have gotten me presents for the two years we’ve been together because we believe I will be a mom to triplets soon!
- Most times I barely remember the day. When I do, I call my mum and remind her of the funny things we did in my childhood days. I also thank God for the waiting period and just trust God. I know it can cause some emptiness to most waiting wombs.
- I dread this day because it reminds me of my emptiness. Being on a Sunday makes it hard to be ignored. Our church especially is keen on celebrating mothers with special songs, sermon, cake and sometimes flowers. I appreciate this genuinely but I have always ended up in tears. Last year I ran out of church because I couldn’t contain the painful reminder. I’m considering not attending church this time. It’s been 7.5 years of waiting, and I’m still hopeful and I thank God for waiting with me.
- I celebrate my mother who has been my source of hope and inspiration. I’m so glad that I still have her in my life, and it also keeps me hopeful that my too day is coming.
- I celebrate all those who are blessed with children because I know there is a reason why things are the way they are…
- On Mother’s Day, I celebrate my mum because despite her being widowed at the age of 25 years, she managed to raise us into beautiful women and men
- Mother’s Day makes me sad, anxious, wishful and most importantly, prayerful.
- Mother’s Day drives me deep into thoughts. Thanks to my mum who is a true source of inspiration, love and hope. Thanks too for the gift of salvation that has kept me going.
- Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of the 8 pregnancies I have lost. It’s a reminder that I am different no matter the ‘faith’ and the ‘believing’ –who am I kidding –I am childless. So for me Mother’s Day is spent alone indoors.
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