Regina Nyambura Migwi, 35, is a mother of two –daughter Elaine Wangechi aged 13 years, and son Ryan Maina, aged four months.
Regina talks about her first marriage and how that didn’t work out, finding love again after four years, as well as the challenges she and her partner faced while trying for a second child. Mummy Tales writer SYLVIA WAKHISI brings you her story.
“My motherhood journey dates back to December 2003 when I got pregnant with my first child. It was a smooth pregnancy devoid of any complications. I gave birth to my daughter Elaine in August 2004.
-My husband used to work in a different town from where we were, and the long distance relationship wasn’t easy for us. After seven years of marriage, we separated, followed later followed by a divorce.
Chasing for Child Support and Giving up on it
Life as a single parent wasn’t easy. My daughter and I struggled, since her father had neglected to provide for us –or his child. I tried compelling him to do so through the courts, but the legal process was a long, exhausting and draining process –which took a heavy toll on me -emotionally, mentally, physically and financially.
I was so bitter with him for neglecting his own flesh and blood. One day, I just woke up and decided I was done. I made up my mind not to follow him up any more, but to instead work hard, provide for my daughter and raise her up to the best of my ability. I even withdrew the court case because I felt it would just keep pulling me back.
Meeting Someone Else and Trying to Conceive
After four years, I met a man and we got into a relationship. I had always longed for another baby and prayed that God would let this be.
However, things didn’t go as expected. I experienced challenges in conceiving, something that baffled me because I hadn’t had any difficulties conceiving the first time around. I didn’t think it would be an issue at all, but I was in for a rude shock.
As month after month went by with no pregnancy, I became frustrated and moved from one gynaecologist to another seeking solutions, hopeful that each had the intervention that would see me pregnant again soon.
I was put on supplements that are specifically for women trying for a baby, and I was also advised to adhere to a good diet. Meanwhile, life for my husband and I became consumed by ovulation, counting days and timing when I was most fertile. It was overwhelming.
We were filled with so much hope, but yet, nothing happened. We would be discouraged as days turned into weeks and weeks into months and months into years. However, we didn’t give up hope and continued praying.
Counting Fertile Days with my Partner
In those moments when I struggled to conceive my second child, I almost sunk into depression. What helped is when I would talk to people who had undergone storms in their lives –not necessarily trying to conceive, and just by listening to their stories and how they managed to remain strong, it gave me hope that one day God would answer my prayers.
What was more encouraging is that my husband remained by my side and assured me that things would be okay. He would speak words of encouragement to me and was always there whenever I needed a shoulder to lean on.
We would also go for my doctor’s appointments together when we were trying to conceive. He always ensured he created time for that. Also, when we were counting days, he would literally count the days with me and hold my hand as we prayed together. All through, he remained optimistic that things would work out well and I thank God for him.
From our lips to God’s ears, for what we had been praying for for years eventually came to be.
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